Chapter Eighty-One
Having Cash back in my arms after a day away is heart-warming.
I feel everything is perfect when he's in my arms. Holding Cash makes me forget about all the shit that happened yesterday.
Axe left early this morning, probably to train with Dash like he usually does when he's pissed off.
I breastfeed Cash and enjoy some stress free tv while I have some time to myself.
When the door opens and Axe walks in, he's sweaty so I was right about him training.
“Hey,” I say quietly.
“Hey.” Axe lifts his shirt up to wipe the sweat off his head, revealing his tanned, sweat-dripping abs.
“Are you feeling better?” I ask.
“I'm fine. I thought you'd be angry at me.”
“Why?” I frown.
“Jayceon told me that he told you Joel's dead.”
Oh right. We have to make Axe believe he killed Joel.
“It was bound to happen.” I add a sigh to sell it.
“So there will be no problems between us anymore?” Axe questions.
“If you can control your anger, there won't be.”
“What's that supposed to mean?” Axe frowns.
“Axe,” I sigh. “Let's keep quiet while I'm holding Cash. But I just want you to be aware, I won't let my son be raised with untamed violence going on around him.”
“Our son,” Axe growls. Cash stirs a little in my arms. Axe clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “Cash won't see that side of me.”
“How can you be sure?”
“Because I won't let him see it.”
“You let me see it when I don't want to,” I say sadly.
“I'm scared to lose you, Elora,” he says loudly. “When someone threatens what I have with you, I'm going to get angry.”
“Okay, we should be okay. Joel is gone. Nothing will come between us now,” I assure him.
“I love you, honey,” Axe murmurs. “I'm sorry for the violence, but I will never hurt you or Cash.”
“I know. While we're talking I want you to know that we aren't going to raise Cash like Manson raised you. I don't want Cash to be rigid and close-minded and take advantage of people because of his power.”
“Do you think I'm like that?” The lines crease on Axe's forehead.
“No, because your mum made sure to show you love.”
“Okay, we can put this conversation to rest now. Everything needed to say has been said, right?” Axe raises his eyebrows.
“Raising Cash to be a good man and no violence, that's all I'm asking,” I list.
“Done.” Axe nods. “Now let me hold Cash.”
Axe gives me a look, like he's testing me to see if I'm completely okay with Cash being around him.
I stand up and gently move him to Axe's arms since he's dozing off to sleep.
Axe looks down at Cash and smiles, pressing a kiss to his forehead.
When Cash stirs in his arms, he softly rocks him and coos sweet things to him.
I don't know what I was worried about. Axe turns into the sweetest dad when he's holding Cash.
I guess I was more worried about Cash being around when Axe loses control.
“How about you have a shower, I'll put Cash in his cot and we'll order a pizza for lunch?” I suggest.
“That sounds good. I'm starving.”
Within an hour, Axe is freshly cleaned, Cash is sleeping and half the pizza has been eaten. We both go back for more pieces, eating in silence until we've finished the box. Axe lies back on the couch, grabbing his stomach with a groan.
“I ate just as much as you and I'm not groaning.” I chuckle.
“You just had a baby so you need to replace all that weight with food.” Axe closes his eyes sleepily.
“That's not how it works.” I laugh but rest my head on the couch, both of us falling asleep.
***
I wake up and groan as I stretch out my stiff neck. Axe is in an even worse sleeping position than I was.
“Axe.” I shake his shoulder to wake him up. He jerks as he wakes up.
“Ugh why did we sleep on the couch?” Axe groans, grabbing his neck.
“Let's go to bed. I think we've eaten enough for the day. We can just relax.” I pull on Axe's hand and we tiredly walk to our room.
I look to see Cash sleeping. Axe stands over the cot and stares down at Cash with a sleepy smile.
I get comfortable under the blankets and Axe joins me, wrapping his arm around my stomach and holding tightly.
I sigh contently. Being in his arms feels amazing.
It's still strange to me the way he's angry and then back to himself.
It's strange that I'm crying from his outburst one moment and lying comfortably in his arms not long after.
I don't think I'll ever understand the storm that is Axe and me, but at least I can say my life will never be boring.
However, you know what they say; after every storm is a rainbow.
Hopefully the storm has passed and the rest of my life with Axe will be a rainbow.