5. Nigga Is a Noun #3
“Stop fuckin’ playin’ with me.” I mugged her. “I ain’t never been nothing but a gentleman to your spoiled ass.”
“Yeah, calling me Lil’ Bo Peep and cussing me out every five minutes… real chivalrous,” she teased, but I could tell she didn’t really have any hard feelings.
“You want me to stop calling you that?” I asked sincerely.
“No,” she said with a laugh. “Then I would have to stop calling you Brickly. I’m good.”
“I can’t fuckin’ stand you, yo.” I laughed harder than I meant to.
I didn’t keep a lot of women around that I had never ran up in, so it might be cool having Destiny as a homie…
especially since I wasn’t attracted to her.
She was able to keep shit light and was funny as shit.
I really liked the fact that she didn’t get all bent out of shape from my teasing and knew how to give that shit back.
Le Jardín was everything bougie, but it was nice as hell.
As a business owner myself, I could tell it was top of the line and worth every penny that my mother spent on it.
We played the role of a loving couple as the owner showed us the area where we would have the ceremony and the ballroom where the reception would be.
The space was Black owned, but our tour was being done by Hannah, the assistant manager, and her pale ass had one more time to say some slightly condescending shit to either of us before I set it off in that bitch.
“You know, I never would have placed you two together,” she said once Destiny had excused herself to the bathroom.
“You two just seem so… different.” I side-eyed her because what the fuck did she mean by that?
She looked me up and down in my head to toe Versace fit and Jordan’s, and I knew her mind went back to whatever-the-fuck that was that Destiny had on.
That was the moment I realized Hannah’s ass wanted the dick, but even if I wasn’t pretending to be married, I wasn’t slinging wood to nobody lighter than a paper bag.
“Yeah, well… the first time I saw her, I knew she was the one for me,” I said, lying through my teeth. “Even with this being as new as it is, I knew very early on that she would be my wife.” That part wasn’t a lie.
“New?” She asked with her brow raised. “Your mother reserved this venue a year ago. We usually have a waiting list of at least eighteen months, but she paid a pretty penny to have it moved up.”
“She…” I paused, wanting to cuss the lady out for simply being a part of the manipulation.
“Of course she did. I mean, we were new when the original plans were made. A year don’t even seem like that long to me.
Excuse me.” I said, walking away without another word.
Destiny was taking too long in that fuckin’ bathroom.
I knocked twice and pushed the door open, knowing she had to be alone because we were the only people in the building.
“If you in here shittin’, say something! I’m comin’ in and I don’t wanna smell—” My teasing immediately ceased when I saw Destiny leaning against the counter with a tearstained face. I rushed over, anger flooding my body to the point that I thought of doing some irrational shit.
“What the fuck happened?”
“Nothing,” she said, sniffling. “I’m okay.”
“No, you ain’t! Why you in here cryin’ and shit?” I asked, reaching for my waistband. “If somebody in here fucked with you, just say the word.”
“Brick, I’m good! I swear!” she assured me as she grabbed my hand, moving it away from my gun. “I was in there, and I guess I just got a little… overwhelmed with everything.”
“How so? You think we need another planner? I can get with the lady.”
“No. It’s fine. I just… We’re getting married.
I thought that my wedding would be special.
That I would be marrying the love of my life, and everything would be perfect.
I’m sorry. I know you probably think this is so stupid.
” Her voice trailed off as more tears came down her face.
I immediately felt my body tense with anger at her bitch ass pops for putting her in this situation and my schemin’ ass mother for facilitating it.
She deserved all of that and ended up stuck with me.
“Fuck…” I sighed. “Well shit. I can’t promise you the love shit, but we can still make the day special. Get whatever you want. We gon’ get lit and enjoy the fuck out of this party.”
“I don’t drink.” She laughed through her tears.
“You drinkin’ that day,” I corrected. “We gon’ have to get you some of the blood of Jesus or somethin’ ‘cuz we getting fucked up, Peep.” I grabbed a tissue from the counter and helped her dry her face.
“Thank you,” she sniffled.
“It ain’t shit,” I assured her.
“No, really. Thank you for all of this. I know this wasn’t your choice either. Thank you for being so understanding and cool about everything.”
“Don’t thank me. You cool as fuck too. If I had to get trapped with someone, I’m glad it was someone that I can halfway stand because these broads out here be trippin’.” She gave me a small smile as I continued to dab her face dry.
Something about the moment made me want to kiss her.
At least a forehead or a cheek, something, fuck.
I shook that soft shit off because the last time I kissed a woman and wasn’t beatin’ her shit out the frame, I was still a lil’ nigga.
We took a moment and walked out together to find a frowning Hannah, standing there looking like a true Karen with her stupid ass clipboard.
“Everything okay?” she asked with her lips twisted into a frown. I could tell she had some shit shot in them, but they were still thinner than my patience after a full twenty-four hours with Kilo.
“Everything is fine, Hannah,” I answered quickly.
“Just making sure there was no funny business going on,” she quipped, making me look at her like she was on that shit. How the fuck was I gon’ manage a quickie with shorty under all of them layers and petticoats?
“If I wanna take my fiancée in there and pipe her down all over your fancy bathroom, I feel like we paid more than enough money to accommodate that,” I snapped. “We disinfected afterwards.”
Both Hannah and Destiny looked at me like I had just pulled my dick out then and there… and not in a good way. I grabbed Destiny by the elbow and gently led her towards the exit before we lost our deposit for me cussing Hannah the fuck out.
“Why would you say that to her? We weren’t even doing anything!” Destiny whispered as we walked out the front door.
“Because, fuck her. I hate being told what to do.”
“Yeah.” She chuckled. “I kind of figured that. I can’t lie. I’m glad you said something. She’s been throwing little jabs all afternoon—making it seem like someone like you could never be with someone like me. I mean, technically it’s true, but she doesn’t know that!”
“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked.
“I don’t know. I didn’t wanna be the woman in there arguing with the employees at such a fancy place. What if they put us out?”
“Then we take our money elsewhere. Listen, don’t ever let nobody play in your face like that.
As long as we in this thing, I got your back.
” I looked at her seriously. She did the same until she broke eye contact, her cheeks turning red and a smile breaking onto her face.
I had never seen a Black Woman blush like this girl did, and every time I had to stop myself from smiling.
“Thank you,” she said softly as I helped her in the truck.
“You have plans after this?” I asked, sliding into my seat and starting up the car.
“No. Did you have something in mind?”
“I mean, maybe we can grab some food or something—get to know each other better. You know, so we can really sell this thing. How we gon’ pretend to be married and don’t know shit about each other?”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” she said, a smile on her face as I pulled out of the parking lot.
Two hours later, we walked around the park downtown trying different desserts. We had eaten everything from street tacos to chicken on a stick at the food truck festival we stumbled onto and were still going like two bad ass kids with unlimited funds.
“So,” I asked through a mouthful of her cookie pizza. “You got a man I need to know about?”
“No,” she answered quickly. “I fear this wedding wouldn’t go over too well if I had a boyfriend.”
“You never had a man?” I asked, brows raised in disbelief. I knew she was a little square, but there was no way that she had been by herself this whole time. She was cool as fuck, and cute… with her basic ass. She would probably make some Urkle ass nigga a good girlfriend.
“No… I mean, yes. I’ve dated, but only one real relationship. If you can even call him that.” Her face went sour.
“Aight then, spill it,” I said, nudging her playfully, stealing another bite from her styrofoam container.
“I mean, I had one boyfriend… twice,” she huffed with an eye roll.
“Now, explain,” I said, giving her the last of my churro funnel cake that she seemed to enjoy more than hers. We had discussed all the basic shit like favorites and family trees—now I was trying to get to some real shit.
“There was this guy. We dated from like junior high school to his freshman year of college. He went out of state and immediately cheated. We broke up, reconnected in our twenties… and the nigga cheated again, then left me for the girl he cheated with.”
“Nigga?!” I damn near hit the ground, hand clutched to my chest. “I thought your square ass didn’t cuss?”
“Nigga is a noun, not a curse word, nigga,” she said with a straight face.
“Aight, aight. Can I ask you a question, though?”
“What’s up?”