5. Nigga Is a Noun #4
“If the nigga cheated, why the fuck would you take his lame ass back, Peep?”
“I was dumb,” she whined. “I was young and dumb. I thought he was the one. He made me feel so… special.”
“How so?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Looking back at it now, I guess it was all just game. That man would literally look at me and talk to me like I was the only thing in the world that mattered to him… then go do the exact same thing with someone else.” She looked sad as fuck, and it made that anger ignite in me again.
“Damn.” I frowned. “Is that fuck nigga still around?”
“He’s still in the city. Married to his big booty wife with three snotty-nosed kids,” she said with a snarl.
“Bet.” I nodded, reminding myself to track down the nigga’s name sooner or later. As far as I was concerned, Peep was one of us, and fucking with one of us wasn’t tolerated even if it was before I knew she existed.
“So, tell me about your girlfriends,” she said. We stopped to throw our trash away and I gave her an amused smirk.
“Girlfriends? Nah, I got a roster of chicks that handle my needs. You want me to go through the list?”
“Ugh, no.” She damn near gagged. “I hope you’re at least being safe.”
“Always. I get tested once a month and make anyone I deal with show me clean results every time. I don’t put my mouth on nobody, and I use condoms.”
“That don’t get old to you? Living like that?
You don’t ever want to find one person so you don’t have to do all that?
” The disgusted look she tried to cover up made me feel like shit.
I had never been a nigga to explain or defend myself, especially to a woman, but the expression on her face had me stumbling over my words.
“I mean, I uh—I tried it twice and it ain’t really work out for me, so I curated a system. Don’t get too familiar. Don’t stay in one place for too long. It prevents so much stress and unnecessary bullshit.”
“Hmph… okay. Well, tell me about the two times,” she said with big, animated eyes.
“I mean, the most recent one was a player on the roster. I thought maybe we could take it further, made her my only one. The moment I gave her that lil’ bit of power, ol’ girl lost her muhfuckin’ mind.
She started thinking she could dictate my moves and who I spoke to.
I was actually faithful to her looney ass, and she stayed doin’ the most. One day, she really bugged out and put her hands on me in front of my people.
Ma hit her in the mouth with a light fixture and knocked all her fronts out. I ain’t seen her since.”
“A… light fixture?” Destiny asked as she held her hands up like she was trying to imagine the action. No amount of description could do it justice, so I didn’t even bother.
“Listen, just… It was wild as hell,” I huffed.
“And the other?” she asked.
“Man… I ain’t tryin’ to talk about her ass.” I sucked my teeth and turned away.
“Please? I told you all my tea!” She pouted.
“Fine… fuck,” I grumbled. “Dominique was my high school sweetheart too. From fourteen to twenty-one, that girl was my fuckin’ heart man.”
“So, what happened?”
“She just… left. One day, I came home to an empty apartment and a note saying that she had to leave because she couldn’t deal with my lifestyle. Never saw her again.”
“Dang… I’m sorry,” she said sadly.
“Don’t be. I’m over it.”
“You’re clearly not… and that’s okay. It seems like she may have been the love of your life. It’s okay to be hurt by that.”
“I’m not! Maybe you should mind your fuckin’ business!” I snapped, feeling like shit again at the way she recoiled. She tucked her bottom lip in, and I didn’t miss how her body naturally angled away from me as we continued walking.
“Um… You want a slushy?” That was all the apology that I could offer her.
“I think I’m good. Actually, I’m ready to call it a day if you don’t mind,” she said, not even looking me in my eye. She went dead silent the entire walk back to the car and the entire drive back to her house.
“Peep,” I grumbled, folding like origami.
“I’m… sorry.” Her head whipped towards me like she couldn’t believe I just apologized to her.
Hell, I couldn’t believe it either, but being around her and her not talking to me was fuckin’ me up.
When she didn’t speak, I kept going. “Listen, maybe I am a little tight about that situation with Dom. I don’t really talk about it because shit got kinda dark for me.
I shouldn’t have snapped on you like that, and I apologize.
We supposed to be a unit, and we can’t do that if I’m not open with you. ”
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.”
“Vulnerable?” I scoffed. “Relax, girl. Ain’t nobody bein’ vulnerable! You trippin’! I’m just bein’ real.”
“Okay,” she said, but I could tell she didn’t believe me. “But thank you for that, because I was about to be giving you the silent treatment until further notice, and I actually enjoy talking to you a little bit.”
“Aight then, Peep. I guess you okay with me too,” I teased, fighting like hell to contain the way the corners of my mouth wanted to turn up into a smile.