Chapter 54
FIFTY-FOUR
VIVIENNE
Would you be surprised if I told you I started my brand new life in Colorado? In fact, in Kor’s hometown—the place he was going to take me before we started our tour of the world.
I know it sounds dramatic, but I wanted to feel close to him—or at least, close to his memory.
Because by then, I was sure he was dead.
There had been reports all over the news about a tiny town called Blackridge where half the male population had been murdered by a wild beast. Was Kor one of the dead?
I was sure he was. How could he live through all the gunshots I heard being fired? Or the attacks by any of the other Alphas who might have managed to Shift? He was gone—out of my life—and I would have to find a way to go on without him.
Thankful again for all the money Carter had left me, I rented a little cottage on the outskirts of Kor’s hometown. I thought of going to visit his business…but I decided against it. It would make me too sad, and I was already crying myself to sleep every night.
I was miserable—even though I was trying to go on with my life, nothing seemed to matter. What did I have to live for without my mate? Nothing, as far as I could see. I couldn’t eat…couldn’t sleep…it was possibly the worst time of my life—even worse than the beginning of my marriage to Carter.
And then, about a month after I’d finally gotten settled in the little cottage, I started feeling sick every morning.
I told myself it couldn’t be. I’d been barren for so long. But then I remembered the breeding belly the Beast had given me. It hadn’t gone down for days. On the plane ride to Colorado, one of the stewardesses had asked me when I was due.
Now it might be time to ask again—this time for real. I went to the store and bought three tests.
All three of them came back positive.
As I sat on the toilet, staring at the third positive test, I knew I had to do something to turn my life around.
I was growing new life inside me—I had Kor’s baby in me, even if it was his Beast that had put it there.
He might be dead, but his son or daughter would live on, and I had to be the best mother I could for him or her.
I guess you could say that after that I straightened up and got my life together.
I decorated the cottage and actually unpacked—I’d been living out of my suitcase up until then.
I went to the store and got some nutritious ingredients and started making myself eat.
I even went to a doctor and got some prenatal vitamins.
I wanted to decorate the cottage’s spare room as a nursery, but I was waiting to find out if I had a boy or a girl inside me.
I did go out and buy a lot of children’s books and started reading to my belly every night.
I loved the sing-song cadence of the rhyming books, and I often lulled myself to sleep, reading to my unborn baby.
The sadness never fully left me, but I learned not to let it consume me.
Kor was gone, but his legacy and the Jamison line would live on.
I still cried at least once a day, and I missed him dreadfully.
I wasn’t sure if I was strong enough to be a single mom, but I wanted to try.
I told myself that I would find the strength…
though I wasn’t sure where it would come from.
Gradually, I began living normally again…except there was still a big hole in my life. A hole I knew no one and nothing would ever be able to fill.
And then, one day, I went to the farmer’s market.