Chapter 55
FIFTY-FIVE
VIVIENNE
I went because I heard they had fresh peaches and one of my cravings lately was for fresh peach pie.
I’d been having a lot of crazing cravings in my third month—pickles dipped in hot fudge sundaes, deviled eggs topped with grape jelly, and rare roast beef made into a sandwich using French toast as the bread, just to name a few.
It felt like the craving for fresh peach pie was at least semi-normal and so, despite wanting to sleep in, I dragged myself up on a Saturday morning near the end of my first trimester to go to the local farmer’s market to try and get the peaches.
The market was held in a grassy square in the middle of town and was already crowded by the time I arrived.
Families pushed strollers between the rows of booths while older couples examined fresh vegetables and homemade jams. There were baskets of apples and tomatoes, jars of local honey, fresh baked bread, and enough flowers to fill a dozen gardens.
The air smelled like sunshine and growing things and fresh coffee from a vendor near the entrance.
For the first time in weeks, I almost felt normal. Well, as normal as a pregnant widow could feel, anyway.
My hand drifted automatically to my stomach as I walked.
I wasn't showing much yet, but I could feel the slight curve there beneath my sundress.
Sometimes I talked to the baby when I was alone in the cottage.
I told myself it was silly, but I couldn't help it.
This child was all I had left of Kor. The baby was proof that what we'd shared had been real and not some beautiful dream that had been ripped away before I could hold onto it.
The thought made my chest ache the way it always did when I remembered him.
It had been three months, and I still thought about him every day. I still woke up reaching for him in the middle of the night. Three months and I still couldn't quite convince myself he was really gone.
I blinked hard and forced myself to focus on the peaches instead.
No crying at the farmer's market, Vivienne, I told myself firmly. People will think you've lost your mind.
I found the fruit stand easily enough. There were baskets overflowing with peaches—large, golden fruits with pink blushes on their skins that smelled absolutely heavenly. My mouth watered immediately, and I could practically hear the baby demanding that we bring some home.
"Oh, those are beautiful," I murmured.
"They're the best in the county."
The voice belonged to the woman running the stand and I smiled politely at her as I reached for one of the peaches.
And then I heard a familiar voice. It wasn’t close by or even particularly loud, but I knew that voice as soon as I heard it.
My entire body went still and my ears strained. I told myself I must be mistaken—it was impossible—a hallucination brought on by my crazy pregnancy cravings or many just wishful thinking.
But then I heard it again. Deep and soft and steady—a voice I could never forget.
The peach slipped from my fingers and landed back in the basket with a soft thump.
No. No, it couldn’t be. My heart began pounding so hard it hurt. I couldn’t let myself believe it. There were thousands of men in Colorado. Plenty of them probably sounded like that—like him.
My hands started shaking. Slowly, afraid of what I might see and even more afraid of what I wouldn't, I turned around.
At first I couldn't find him—there were too many people. Too many booths and faces. Even if it was him, I would never find him.
Then, the crowd shifted…and I saw him.
He was standing near a truck loaded with crates of vegetables, helping an older man unload them.
He wore faded jeans and a blue flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.
His hair was a little longer than it had been when I'd last seen him and he had a beard now, but none of that mattered.
Because it was him.
It was Kor and he was alive.
For a moment the entire world seemed to stop turning. I couldn't breathe…couldn't think. I couldn't even blink. I simply stood there staring at him while my heart tried to beat its way out of my chest.
Alive, alive—dear Goddess, he’s alive! a little voice in my head chanted. But still I couldn’t believe it—couldn’t believe it was really him.
I’m seeing a ghost, I thought. Either that or I’ve finally lost my mind. Oh my God, if I’m crazy, who’s going to take care of the baby?
And then, as though he felt me looking at him, Kor straightened and glanced across the market.
Our eyes met and I watched the color drain from his face.
The crate he was holding slipped from his hands and hit the ground. Vegetables rolled everywhere but he didn’t even seem to notice.
"Vivienne?" he said.
Or maybe I imagined him speaking—I’m not sure. Because suddenly, everything seemed very far away. The people and the booths and the whole market started to fade and everything got very dim—even the bright sunshine faded to gray.
The last thing I remember seeing was Kor shoving his way through the crowd toward me with a look of absolute shock on his face.
Then the world tilted sideways…
And everything went dark.