Chapter 2 #2
“It must be addressed!” she exclaimed, as if he were entirely unaware of that requirement already.
“This house has endured quite enough humiliation already.” Her blue eyes flashed, the threads of silver through her dark hair catching the light as she drew herself up.
“Governesses will soon refuse to attend our house, because news of the duke’s wild son will reach their ears. We cannot have that, we must—”
“Mother!” Augustus raised his voice to a louder tone now, letting the word ring around the room, seeing how it made her eyes flare and Luke lift his head.
“When I have said that it is enough, it is precisely what I mean. I do not want to continue this conversation, not at the present moment and certainly not with the present audience.”
His mother’s expression tightened, and she took a step closer to him, her words now coming out in a low, hissed whisper so that Luke could not overhear. “Luke refuses instruction and ignores any attempt to discipline him. Yesterday, he placed a frog in Miss Fletcher’s teapot.”
Despite the upset and his own frustration, Augustus almost smiled. “Children are inclined to misbehave, Mother.”
“Not with such determination,” came the reply. “We will not be able to secure a governess if they continue to flee the household.”
Augustus glanced toward his son, seeing Luke’s head lowered to his knees again but his face tilted toward them, perhaps wondering what it was they spoke of. Helplessness settled around him, as if he were adrift at sea with no hope of rescue.
How was it that he could master all manner of estate business, could understand fully his accounts and investments but could not find a way to reach his son? He loved him fiercely, but he remained a mystery to Augustus, a confusion that he could not make sense of.
There was nothing that Augustus would not sacrifice if it meant that Luke would be happy, if it meant an easing of these present circumstances but Augustus did not even know where to begin. Love and attention, kindness and encouragement were insufficient, it seemed.
“I do not know what sort of governess is required but his behavior must be managed,” the duchess said in a low voice. “Camberley, have you thought of Eton? I know that he is only six years of age, but within a year, he could go there and this matter, this difficulty, would be brought to an end.”
Augustus shook his head. “No.” The thought of having his son taken from this house to reside elsewhere, with people he did not know and teachers who would not understand was a frightening one.
“Luke has already endured so much—more than any child ought—and I will not have him sent away. A governess will suffice.”
His mother’s expression was filled with doubt. “Quite where you shall find another willing to reside in this house, I cannot imagine.”
“We will find the right governess for him, I am sure of it,” Augustus responded, having nothing else to say, no excuse to make or suggestion to give. “Allow me to speak with my son, Mother.”
The duchess’ eyes flared, but after a moment, she took her leave and Augustus let out a slow breath of relief.
Looking back to his son, he saw that Luke had turned his head so that his face was buried once more in his knees.
Hesitating, Augustus looked all about the floor, seeing his son’s drawings, before slowly sinking to his knees.
“Luke?” he said, picking up one piece of paper and seeing Luke’s attempts at drawing what had once been their family.
His heart ached and he shook his head, pushing one hand through his hair as his son finally turned his eyes toward him.
Reaching out, Augustus put one hand on his son’s shoulder.
“You are allowed to miss Mama,” he said quietly. “I miss her dreadfully.”
Luke’s tears returned in an instant. “It is not fair,” he said, pulling himself toward Augustus who then sat down heavily on the floor, one arm going around Luke’s shoulders. “I want her back.”
“I know.” Augustus wrapped his other arm around Luke and pulled him close, feeling sobs shake his son’s small frame.
His own tears burned behind his eyes, but he refused to allow them to fall, telling himself that he had to be strong for his son’s sake.
They stayed like that for some minutes, with Augustus simply holding his son tightly until, slowly, Luke’s sobs began to subside.
Augustus sighed, brushing damp, fair curls from Luke’s forehead as his son looked up at him.
“I am afraid that I must find you another governess, Luke.”
Fire leapt into Luke’s eyes. “I do not want another.”
“We shall do so nonetheless,” Augustus replied, and Luke let out a low groan. “I am afraid it is a requirement of mine that you have an education.”
Luke’s lips flattened. “She will not stay.”
Augustus said nothing but simply held his son tightly for a few more minutes. Somewhere outside of this house, there was a governess capable of teaching and encouraging Luke in a way that no other had managed thus far.
Someone who would be patient enough to understand that the tantrums and the tears came from pain and loss, someone who would act with kindness and gentle understanding despite all that Luke might try to do.
Someone who would have to try and make their way past Luke’s armor, that would prove to him that affection did not always end in abandonment.
Whether such a governess truly existed, Augustus did not know. He could only pray that, in God’s grace, he might find such a creature—and soon. He loved his son with every fiber of his being, and, despite his own grief and exhaustion, Augustus was determined to succeed.
He had to. For Luke’s sake.