Chapter 42-That Isnt Love
"No."
Vikram stared.
Vinaya withdrew her hand.
"No?"
"You don't."
He almost laughed from sheer disbelief.
"I think I would know."
"Would you?"
The question silenced him.
Vinaya stood.
She wrapped a robe around herself and walked toward the window.
Vikram remained seated.
"Vinaya."
"You loved Priya."
"Yes."
"You know what love feels like."
"Yes."
"And then Ganga died."
His chest tightened.
Vinaya turned.
"You came to Devagarh and discovered an entire year of your daughter's life that you had thrown away."
He flinched.
"You brought me home."
"Yes."
"You changed Priya's chambers."
"Yes."
"You found Ganga's letter."
His eyes burned.
"Yes."
"And then you started learning about me."
Vikram slowly understood where she was going.
"No."
Vinaya's voice broke.
"You feel guilty."
"I do."
"You are grieving."
"Yes."
"You want to repair what you destroyed."
"Yes."
She laughed sadly.
"Exactly."
"That doesn't mean I don't love you."
"You don't know the difference anymore."
Vikram stood.
"I know exactly—"
"Do you?"
Her raised voice stopped him.
Vinaya rarely shouted.
"Every kind thing you do for me began after Ganga died."
Vikram stared.
"If she had lived, would you be here?"
The question devastated him.
He opened his mouth.
Nothing came.
Vinaya nodded.
"That is what I thought."
"No."
He moved toward her, then remembered the morning and stopped.
"I don't know what would have happened."
"Neither do I."
"But I know what I feel now."
Vinaya shook her head.
"I cannot build my life on your guilt."
"You aren't."
"How do I know?"
He had no answer she would believe.
That was the terrible truth.
Words had been easy for him.
Cruel words.
Promises to Priya.
Declarations made after damage was already done.
Vinaya wiped her tears.
"I believe you care about me."
It was something.
Yet it hurt.
"I believe you regret hurting me."
He waited.
"And I believe part of you thinks loving me will somehow make what happened to Ganga less unforgivable."
"That isn't true."
"Maybe."
She looked directly at him.
"But you don't love me, Vikram."
Her voice softened.
"You just haven't forgiven yourself."