Chapter 41-What I Did to You
It took nearly an hour before Vinaya let him touch her.
Vikram waited.
When she finally whispered his name, he looked up.
"Come here."
He approached slowly.
Vinaya held out her hand.
Only then did he take it.
His fingers trembled more than hers.
He sat beside her.
For a while, neither spoke.
Then Vinaya whispered, "I'm sorry."
Vikram turned sharply.
"No."
"I ruined—"
"No."
His voice was firm enough that she looked at him.
"You will not apologize for that."
She looked away.
"I don't understand what happened."
"I do."
Vinaya's eyes returned to him.
Vikram swallowed.
"I happened."
Pain crossed her face.
"Vikram—"
"No. Please."
He needed to say it.
Not for forgiveness.
Because she deserved to hear him name what he had done.
"You trusted me once when I had done nothing to deserve it."
His voice shook.
"You came into my room because I was hurt."
Vinaya became very still.
"I mistook you for Priya. You tried to tell me who you were."
He closed his eyes briefly.
"And the next morning, instead of facing what I had done, I blamed you."
Vinaya's fingers tightened around his.
"I accused you because I was ashamed of myself."
A tear slipped down his cheek.
"I made my shame yours."
Vinaya stared at him.
"And I thought apologizing afterward meant the worst was over."
He shook his head.
"It wasn't over for you."
"No."
The word was barely audible.
Vikram nodded.
"I know that now."
Silence.
Then Vinaya whispered, "Last night was beautiful."
His face crumpled slightly.
"But?"
"This morning wasn't about last night."
"I know."
"I wanted you."
"I know."
"I chose you."
Vikram lifted her hand to his lips.
"I know."
Her eyes filled.
"Why couldn't my mind remember that?"
"Because I hurt you."
Vinaya looked away.
He didn't try to make the answer gentler.
For once, gentleness would have been another form of hiding.
"I cannot undo it."
"No."
"I would if I could."
"I know."
Vikram looked at her.
"I don't expect you to forgive me because I've finally learned how terrible I was."
Vinaya swallowed.
"Then what do you expect?"
"Nothing."
That surprised her.
He touched her fingers.
"I want to become someone you don't have to fear."
Vinaya's eyes closed.
Vikram leaned forward and rested his forehead against her hand.
Then the truth he had been avoiding for weeks became impossible to contain.
"I love you."
Vinaya's eyes opened.
Vikram looked up.
No hesitation now.
No ghost.
No guilt disguised as tenderness.
"I love you, Vinaya."
And instead of joy, he watched fear return to her face.