Chapter 40-Morning
Vinaya couldn't breathe.
One moment she was staring at Vikram.
The next she was back there.
What did you do?
Her heart slammed against her ribs.
She sat upright.
No.
Not again.
She looked down at herself.
At the bed.
At Vikram.
You knew I was drunk.
Her hands began trembling.
She knew this was different.
She had chosen last night.
Vikram had known exactly who she was.
He had said her name.
Again and again.
Her mind knew.
Her body did not care.
You stayed.
Vinaya stumbled from the bed.
The movement woke Vikram.
"Vinaya?"
She backed away.
His sleepy smile disappeared instantly.
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Her voice sounded strange.
He sat up.
"Vinaya."
"Don't."
He froze.
She couldn't get enough air.
The walls seemed to be moving inward.
Vikram climbed from the bed.
Vinaya backed away again.
"Don't come near me."
He stopped immediately.
Her face terrified him.
"I'm not coming closer."
Vinaya wrapped both arms around herself.
"I didn't do anything."
Vikram's stomach dropped.
"What?"
"I didn't trick you."
He went cold.
"Vinaya—"
"You knew."
She was crying now.
"You knew it was me."
Understanding struck him.
No.
God, no.
"I didn't seduce you."
"Vinaya."
"You asked me if I was sure."
"Yes."
"I said yes."
"Yes."
Her breathing became faster.
"So don't—"
Her voice broke.
"Don't wake up and hate me."
Vikram felt as though someone had driven a blade through his chest.
He took an instinctive step toward her.
Vinaya recoiled.
And Vikram stopped.
Completely.
She was afraid.
Not of some memory.
Not merely of what had happened years ago.
Of him.
The woman he loved was standing across the room shaking because some part of her believed the morning after loving him might end with another accusation.
Vikram's eyes filled.
He lowered himself slowly to the floor.
Far from her.
"I'm staying here."
Vinaya struggled for breath.
"I won't touch you."
She closed her eyes.
"Look at me if you can."
Eventually she did.
Vikram remained where he was.
"You chose last night."
She nodded frantically.
"I know."
"And I chose it too."
Another nod.
"I knew your name."
A sob escaped her.
"I knew your face."
He swallowed.
"I knew my wife."
Vinaya pressed a hand against her chest.
"Breathe with me."
He breathed slowly.
She tried.
Again.
Again.
Minutes passed.
Gradually the room returned.
The past loosened its grip.
Vinaya sank onto the edge of the bed.
Vikram remained on the floor.
He wanted desperately to hold her.
He did not move.
And looking at the terror still lingering in her eyes, Crown Prince Vikramaditya finally understood something remorse had allowed him to avoid.
He had become the thing his wife feared.