Chapter 10
Chris
We are seated beside each other in the private van taking us to the hotel, and I swear I cannot seem to take my eyes off her. My lips refuse to follow commands; they keep curling upward of their own accord the longer I look at her profile.
"Hey," I call out to her softly.
Remember when I told myself I had things all sorted out? Well, apparently I was just playing games with my own mind. I actually do not have anything figured out at all. Every single line I rehearsed, every word I thought I had secure in my head earlier, has evacuated my memory.
"Yeah?" She looks up from her tablet, her gaze neutral.
I smile at her entire person. Her elegant fingers, the slope of her shoulder—everything is just as beautiful as I remember.
"I miss you," I say, letting out a nervous chuckle.
She looks at me for a beat, offers a single nod, and returns to her screen.
I nod too, shifting in my seat. I didn't expect her to jump all over me the exact moment we crossed paths, but the stoic wall she has erected is daunting.
"How have you been, Zoe?"
"Oh, I've been well."
Before I can probe further, the van pulls up to the curb outside the hotel and comes to a full stop. The conversation cuts short as the doors slide open.
***
Later that evening, the tension follows us down to the hotel restaurant for dinner.
The air between Zoe and me remains thick, but I manage to steer her toward the edge of the dining room for a private word while the others settle at the main table.
Standing near the glass partition, I try to piece together the fragments of my thoughts.
"Chris," a familiar voice interrupts.
I turn my head to see Sarai approaching us, her fingers already reaching out as if to guide me away from the alcove. "Chris, can you come over here for a second? I need to ask you about the schedule for tomorrow."
I glance back at my wife. I notice the exact trajectory of Zoe's gaze. Her eyes drop significantly to the narrow space between Sarai and me, measuring the distance, tracking the old pattern before her jaw sets into a tight line.
A sharp prick of guilt hits my stomach, cold and sobering. I swallow hard, steeling my posture, and look directly at my brother's widow.
"Please, Sarai. I am speaking with my wife right now."
Sarai halts, confusion and a flash of irritation filtering into her features. She stands there for a moment, waiting for me to soften, but I maintain my gaze, refusing to yield an inch of my positioning. Finally, she turns on her heel and walks back over to where Greta is seated.
I look back at Zoe, my chest expanding with a steady breath.
"I see you and Sarai aren't that close anymore," Zoe remarks, her voice holding a dry, analytical edge as she watches the exchange.
"We are still close," I answer, keeping my voice quiet and steady. "But she doesn't come first anymore. You do."
Zoe lets out a sudden laugh. It is a clear, melodic sound, but it carries zero belief, ringing hollow against the glass pane behind us.
The rejection hurts, but I can't even harbor any anger when I feel incredibly blessed just to be standing in front of her after eight months of silence.
"Why did you laugh?" I ask softly.
"Well, because you know I wouldn't believe that until I actually see it, Chris."
A small, sad smile touches her lips, and she begins to look away toward the entrance of the restaurant.
"I am sorry," I say out loud, the words slipping out of the blue before she can fully turn her back on me.
Zoe pauses, her shoulders dropping slightly. She turns her face back to me, studying my expression for a long three seconds before she offers a quiet nod.
"It's okay," she says. She checks the screen of her phone. "The car is here anyway, so we can go see Nate."
I nod immediately, relieved by the shift. As we walk over to the main table to inform Greta of our departure, I clear my throat to lay out the plan.
"Mother, we will be heading out now to go see our son over at Maya's house," I announce, referring to Zoe's sister.
Greta nods in approval, sipping her tea.
Sarai immediately sets her napkin down, leaning forward. "Can I follow you guys? Julius would love to see Nate before the ceremony tomorrow."
"Sit, Sarai," Greta’s voice cuts in, level and final. "We will be going to see Julius soon anyway. There is absolutely no need to disturb Chris and his wife tonight."
I have zero desire to engage in a long debate or swap words with her, so I simply offer a curt nod. "Okay. Good night."
I place my hand at the small of Zoe's back, careful not to press too hard, and guide her out toward the waiting vehicle.