Chapter 1 #3
She could say no. She could say she needed to get back home and get in a cool shower, because she did.
But then she would have to cook for herself, and she didn’t want to do that. Also, by the time they hiked out of here, they were going to be very hungry.
“Did you see Cody’s text?”
She nodded and shoved her phone back in her pocket. “Yeah. Once we get out of here, we can just drive straight over.”
“I think he proposed to Marlowe.”
“Today?”
“It’s my understanding.”
Immediately, she felt irritated that Nolan would know that and not her.
Of course, that was probably a normal thing to share with your friend and not your younger sister, but still.
The idea of Cody getting married, having kids, it gave her such a strange, happy ache in the center of her chest.
Sore and happy. He deserved it, of course he did. And she was happy.
But it was also sort of a strange jealousy.
Because she had been the person that he took care of. He was this essential part of her life. Of her family.
And now they were adding Marlowe to it, which was wonderful, but it was also this breaking apart of the thing that they had always been.
“You good?”
“Yeah,” she said.
She pushed ahead of Nolan on the trail. And tried to just focus on the trail.
How good it was looking, how much work they had already done.
They had five miles of groomed trail to walk back on because of everything that they had put into it.
That there was going to be about two hours of walking with Nolan was a little bit annoying.
But there was nothing to be done about that.
“You seem upset.”
“I’m not upset.”
“Fractious.”
She stopped and turned to face him, fury churning in her gut. “I’m not a baby, Nolan.”
His dark eyes flickered up and down just for a second. A fraction. And it made her feel so hot she thought that she might combust.
“Great. Glad we had that discussion. I’m not upset. I may be a little bit annoyed that you know that my brother is getting engaged, and I don’t. And you told me.”
“Sorry. I kind of thought that you knew he was going to propose.”
“No. I didn’t.”
And that made her feel a strange sort of worry, like maybe Cody hadn’t told her on purpose. Like, maybe he hadn’t told her because he didn’t think that she could handle it, or that she would be weird. And maybe she was being weird. Maybe he was right.
That made her feel even worse.
“I don’t think it’s personal. I just think that he probably told the guys.”
“The guys?”
“He talked to Walker, I know that. I think Zach because Zach and Cara got engaged so fast that... Well, he has experience with it.”
“Zach and Cara got engaged too fast,” she said, sniffing.
She didn’t even mean that. She liked Cara.
She liked her so much, and she felt like a jerk saying that while she wasn’t here.
She also thought that Cara’s love story with Zach was one of the most surprising, beautiful things that she’d ever seen, but she was so goddamn allergic to sincerity that she had a hard time showing that, or admitting it.
And right now, she just felt annoyed, so she was having difficulty not being like that.
She definitely didn’t want Nolan to know that she felt any vulnerability around this.
Around all the change that was happening.
Change was good. She welcomed it.
It had been a lot of years of change, but her family had moved as a unit. They had done all those changes together, and this was one of those things where she was just being left behind.
Walker was with Addison now, and even though they weren’t engaged, that would happen.
It just would. She knew that. Because the thing about her brothers was they had all been so commitment averse, that the minute they found a woman that they were willing to commit to, she knew that it was going to be forever.
It was obvious to her that Cody was going to marry Marlowe.
It was obvious that Walker would marry Addison, who had been his sworn enemy for years, and now suddenly was the love of his life.
Cara had come to the ranch with Marlowe—her former sister-in-law—and Lila had made friends with her, and Cara had immediately coupled up, and Lila was the sad virgin who didn’t even know how to make a step forward into having a second date, much less... Relationships.
And she couldn’t really say that she wanted one. She was pretty happy with her life, but...
She could feel Nolan’s eyes on her, and she bristled. “Let’s just pretend you didn’t tell me,” she said. “Then I can act surprised.”
Which was exactly what she did when they finally arrived at Cody’s house, exhausted, sweaty and starving.
The heat had made Lila evil, and she was doing her best not to snap.
Especially when Marlowe ran to her and showed her the giant ring on her finger.
“Holy shit,” Lila said. “Cody, do you have any money left?”
Cody was smiling, very smugly. “I have enough.”
This was real. Real, real, the rock on her finger was lifetime stuff.
And Lila found that she really was happy. Ninety-eight point nine percent happy.
“Burger?” Nolan shoved a plate toward her.
She looked over at him and scowled. “I’m congratulating the happy couple.”
“You’re hungry,” he said.
“No kidding, I’m starving. But I can take a minute to congratulate my brother.”
“Simmer down,” Nolan said.
He had found a shirt between the trail and here, and that actually kind of made her mad too, because now he wasn’t acting like he had been swanning around with his muscles out all day giving her issues.
Making her want to pluck out her own eyeballs.
“You’re tired,” Nolan said, wrapping his arm around her waist and lifting her up a couple of inches off the ground.
She gasped, and then froze, going stiff like a plank in his arms. Her back was so hot against his broad chest. Hot against her shoulder blades.
She thought she was going to spontaneously combust. It was like he had taken her entire body and dipped it in liquid fire.
And she could feel her heart beating faster, her breasts getting heavy, her nipples tight, a thick pulse pounding between her legs, and the absolute horror of that made her want to commit a crime against him.
He was treating her like she was a piece of furniture.
That was the thing that really killed her, the thing that washed over her then.
It was like he had picked up a folding chair to relocate it, and nothing more.
And it was the humiliation of those two truths, that she was as turned on as she might have been if she was naked and in his bed, and the fact that he saw her as an inanimate object, or even worse, a younger sister, that made her lose it right then.
She twisted in his grasp and elbowed him directly in the midsection.
He released his hold on her, a harsh sound escaping his lips as he dropped her to the grass.
She landed on her knees, sprawling out. And he was standing above her, still holding that hamburger on a plate.
Furious now, she kicked herself up into a standing position.
“Give me the burger,” she said.
He did, and she jerked it out of his hold.
Her pulse was pounding, her blood running just a little bit too hot, a little bit too reckless. She was about ready to lose it entirely. But she didn’t want to mess up the engagement. It was important, and she was happy for Cody.
Even if she was having some feelings about it. And about Nolan treating her like an inanimate object.
You’ll figure it out. You’re not going to die feeling like this.
She wouldn’t. She made that promise to herself then and there.
At some point, very soon, she was going to exorcise her desire for Nolan Wright out of her body.
She wasn’t going to use a priest, she was going to find a hot man to fuck all this right out of her.
Because this was unbearable. She just couldn’t do it.
Couldn’t watch everyone around her happily couple up, couldn’t have him touching her, teasing her, being flagrantly obnoxious to her, while she was burning with need that she didn’t even want.
She sat down angrily with her hamburger, and took a large bite of it, chewing with a little bit too much gusto.
As soon as this project was finished, hell, when they even came to a stopping point, she was going to deal with this once and for all. And when Lila Grayson put her mind to something, she damn well did it.