Chapter 34
ANNA
It was Holly’s idea.
On the beach outside our hotel in Greece, she gestured at the cold fire pit beside us. “We’ll replace Zoe with these ashes.”
“We’ll do what?” I whisper-yelled after I’d picked my jaw out of the sand. Because really, new and improved Holly or not, this was coloring waayyy outside of any lines she’s ever drawn for herself. She was always our voice of reason.
Her suggestion isn’t even a distant cousin of reason.
I grasped her forearm. “You cannot be serious.” But she was serious, dead set.
I could see it on her face when she looked at me, the whites of her eyes glittering with determination and a hint of mischief that was both exhilarating and terrifying.
“We’ve created a rule-breaking monster,” I silently said to Zoe.
Holly waved off my concern with one hand while the other unscrewed the top of the urn. “They’ll never notice the difference.”
“But… but…” I sputtered. We would know.
“You remember what Mr. Whitmore said before we left,” she argued. “He expects us to fail. Do you want to tell him we did?”
I shut my mouth and shook my head. No, I didn’t.
“Neither do I.”
“But Zoe,” I hissed.
“Isn’t here. If she was, she’d suggest the exact same thing, and you know it.”
I forced out a stream of air. That was the truth.
“Think of it this way. We’re channeling our inner Zoe.” Holly tucked a curl behind her ear and smiled. “I bet she’s laughing about this right now.”
She probably was, but this was insane. On the off chance the Whitmores discovered our bait and switch, they’d be outraged we’d been so reckless with Zoe’s remains. They’d never forgive us.
“As much as I admire the creativity of this idea, Hols…”
Her brow quirked. “Do you have a better one?”
Other than flying home with my wide-brimmed hat pulled low over my face in shame? No, I didn’t have a better idea. I shook my head.
“Trust me, Anna. It’ll work,” she said with enough conviction to snuff the last flicker of doubt. Rolling onto her knees, she scooped ash into the urn, periodically holding it up to feel the weight. “That feels about right. What do you think?”
It wasn’t Zoe, but Zoe’s urn felt about right.
So, we went along with the scheme because, in theory, it was brilliant.
My best friend, Holly, was brilliant.
We thought we were being brilliant.
Except that we forgot to check the ash for trash.
“What is this?” Charles picks up a cigarette butt that landed near his foot. The bottle cap rolls toward Leo, bounces off his foot, and spins to a flat stop. I swear he smirks before he ducks his head. He swats the bottle cap with a flick of his flip-flop, flinging it from our line of sight.
Shame flares outward from my chest like a flash of heat, sparking my heart into overdrive. I catch Holly’s eyes. She looks as horrified as I feel. Why oh why didn’t we inspect the ashes?
A maniacal chuckle bursts from me, a total mouth fart. I clap a hand over my mouth, my eyes huge.
“Is this funny to you?” Charles glares at me.
“No, sir.”
“How did this get in there?” He waves the cigarette butt in our faces. Faint pink lipstick stains the end. “How did this get into my daughter’s remains?” he bellows when Holly and I are mute with remorse.
Leo coughs into his fist. “I don’t think that’s Zoe’s color lipstick.” He has the gall to wink at me.
Charles doesn’t miss it. He sneers at his son before whirling on me. “You!”
I jerk back. Holly gives my hand a squeeze, a gentle warning about our agreement. Not a word to anyone about what we did.
“We have no idea how that got in there,” I say with forced innocence. But the lie sours on my tongue.
“My poor baby.” Elaine dabs her eyes, which only makes me feel more miserable.
“You want me to believe this was in there the whole time?” Charles bellows. “What did you just toss out, wood ash?”
I grimace, shrinking back. My hand slips from Holly’s.
“How gullible did you take us for?” he yells, getting into my face.
“We didn’t,” I say, meekly.
Grandma Whitmore fans herself with what appears to be a map. It looks like the one Leo had left for us. She tsks and shoots me a look of disapproval.
“Then what the hell happened to my daughter?”
“We lost her,” I admit, and Holly quietly gasps.
“You what?”
“I’m sorry, Charles, but we lost her.”
“I think what she’s trying to say,” Leo cuts in, “is that she and Holly feel lost without her.”
“Exactly,” Holly chimes. She grabs my hand again and gives it a solid squeeze. Stay strong, Anna, she’s telling me.
I want to hug them both, but Charles isn’t taking any of our excuses. “You stay out of this.” He thrusts a finger from Holly to his son.
“Hey,” Leo angrily objects. He steps forward so quickly that his shoulder brushes mine. His hand finds the small of my back, the gentle, reassuring touch at odds with the blaze in his eyes radiating in his father’s direction.
Charles isn’t listening. His usually tanned complexion has taken on a fiery red. “Explain,” he orders, his eyes drilling through what little resolve I have left.
“Anna.” Holly gently tugs at my arm, moving closer so that she and Leo bookend me. Her eyes shimmer.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper to her. “I can’t do this.” And before she can stop me, I confess. “It’s the truth, sir. We lost her, and it’s entirely my fault.” I give the Whitmores a quick rundown of what happened in Greece, minus Holly’s part in it. I barely finish before Charles explodes.
“You irresponsible, no-good—no wonder Holly didn’t forgive you. You’re selfish and have zero common sense.”
“Dad,” Leo angrily interrupts, but Charles is on a roll.
“I can’t believe Zoe put so much faith in you. How she ever thought of you as a friend, I’ll never understand. I knew it, Elaine.” He forcibly flicks away the cigarette butt and makes a show of brushing his hands off with disgust. “This explains everything.”
“What do you mean?” I ask, gutted.
“Your parents. No wonder they want nothing to do with you.”
Shame and guilt are dead weights in my stomach. My throat thickens with tears as I curl into myself. I hate that I believe every word he says.
“Charles,” Elaine gasps, touching his back.
“Totally uncalled for, Dad. Anna was always a good friend to Zoe.”
“I’m sorry,” I say on repeat. I can’t even look at them. “I’m sorry.”
“You disrespected my daughter and desecrated her remains. You thought you could make fools of us.”
“Jesus, Dad. Enough.” Leo pushes back his hair with mounting frustration.
“Get out of my sight,” Charles spits our way, before turning his back on us and striding over to his wife and mother.
His order sends a shockwave through me, crumbling my heart.
I turn to leave, but Holly grabs my elbow and stops me. “It was my idea,” she blurts.
“Holly, no.” I won’t let her take the blame.
She steps forward, deliberately inserting herself between me and the Whitmores. “It was my idea and my fault. It was an accident, but I kicked over the urn. I also came up with the idea to replace the ashes.”
Leo’s mouth falls open.
“Why would you do such a thing?” Elaine asks, her voice little more than a whisper.
“We thought we’d failed like Mr. Whitmore predicted and were too ashamed to admit it. But you know what?” Holly looks back at me with a smile. “We didn’t fail.”
I blink. “We didn’t?”
“No, we didn’t.” She turns back to Zoe’s family.
“Do you know what Zoe’s biggest fear was before she died?
Yes, she sent Anna and me on this quest hoping we’d reconcile.
But more so, she wanted to make sure we wouldn’t forget her.
She was so afraid of being forgotten the way you’ve forgotten Ava.
” Shock ripples through the Whitmores. “Yes, we know about her. Zoe told us. She told us how you pretend Ava didn’t exist, how devastated she was not only to lose her twin but not be able to mourn her properly. ”
“We don’t pretend Ava didn’t exist,” Elaine objects with a catch in her voice. “It was just so hard when we lost her. It hurts to talk about her.”
“Maybe you weren’t pretending, but that’s how it seemed to Zoe.
So, shame on you for making her feel that way.
Shame on you all.” Holly turns to leave, but she pivots right back.
“One more thing. Anna’s the most compassionate, kind, funny, and loyal person I know.
She’s the best friend anyone could have, and I’m honored she’s mine.
I know for a fact Zoe felt the same. And if you can’t see that, it’s your loss.
Come on, Anna.” She hooks her arm with mine. “Let’s get out of here.”