Chapter 35
HOLLY
I grip Anna’s hand, pulling her forward the way I’ve done with Quinn so many times.
Each time Anna slows, I give her arm a gentle tug forward.
Each time she sniffles, I give her hand a gentle squeeze.
I know we were wrong for trying to pass off the bonfire ashes for Zoe’s ashes.
But we weren’t wrong for trying to do the right thing.
Zoe would have approved. Zoe would be happy to see us come together. Zoe would have laughed her ass off at seeing the bottle cap and lipsticked cigarette butt flying through the air in the middle of a somber moment.
Zoe would also have been mortified at how her father spoke to Anna.
“Holly, stop.” Anna pulls back on my hand.
“No,” I insist. I want to put as much distance as we can between us and them. Mr. Whitmore’s attack on Anna is ringing in my ears. His words were hurtful and wrong. All wrong.
“You can’t blame him for being upset.”
I stop and look at Anna, her eyes wide and wet with tears, and I’m angry all over again. For everything she is and isn’t. One thing no one can accuse Anna of is that she wasn’t the best of friends to Zoe. Or to me.
“I don’t blame them for being upset. But what he said was out of line.
You didn’t deserve that lashing, and I’m sorry.
I should have stepped in immediately. I was just so damn surprised.
” Heat prickles up my neck at how I stood there while Mr. Whitmore attacked her.
It had taken far too long for me to react.
Leo hadn’t hesitated. He immediately came to Anna’s defense.
“He’s right, though. You and Zoe were the only people who ever saw me for more than a flaky socialite.
I grew up in a world where I was little more than a pretty accessory to my parents.
I believed that version of me because it’s what everyone else saw.
But not you two. My parents don’t care about me.
Men have never cared about me.” Anna sniffles and wipes at the tears that have escaped the pool of her eyes.
“I managed to ruin the one good relationship in my life, and that’s what I will be remembered for. ”
She turns away so I can’t see the emotion taking over her perfect features.
“Anna,” I say, turning her gently so we’re facing each other again. “That relationship hasn’t been ruined.” I give her a half-smile and she hiccups a smile in return.
“You and I are good. We have some catching up to do still before we’re back to where we were, but we’re good. And anyone who doesn’t see what an amazing person you are doesn’t deserve you.” And yes, I’m lumping myself into that because after all these years, Anna still believed in me.
“Stop. I’ve already cried most of my makeup off.” She touches a finger to her lower lashes then glares at the black stripes on her finger. “I must look a mess.”
“Oh Anna,” I say, partly out of exasperation, all with love. Looking perfect is so ingrained in her. It’s what makes her both amazing and vulnerable. “You look beautiful.” I take her hand and lead her toward the swimming hole Zoe wanted us to go to.
“You want to swim? Now?” Anna asks.
I stare down the stairs, into the cave and the shimmering water, at the beam of sunlight filtering through the trees surrounding the water hole where it emerges from the darkness of the cave into the brilliant Mexico daylight.
“Yes,” I say with surprising conviction. The thought of swimming in anything except for a bathtub-clear pool gives me the willies, but there’s a serene pull to the spot below that even I can’t deny. Well, a pull aided by a push from Zoe.
We make our way down the wood steps to the platform jutting out of the water. There’s a ladder going into the water within the cave and another in the sun. Anna immediately walks to the sunny end of the platform.
I sit beside her, allowing my feet to dangle into the water. The temperature is surprisingly pleasant, and I find myself relaxing, despite the bottle cap and cigarette butt fiasco.
“I don’t think this is exactly how Zoe imagined this portion of the trip going,” Anna says, kicking her feet in the water. The usual Anna flair is missing in her posture and appearance. That is definitely not what Zoe would want.
“Not exactly, no. Did you see the look on her grandmother’s face, though? If it hadn’t been so horrifying, it would have been really funny.” Anna’s face looks like she’s just realized her feet have been soaking in a pee bath and I can’t help but laugh.
I’ve only met Zoe’s grandmother a handful of times over the years, and she always struck me as an impenetrable tank. Not the soft, huggy kind of grandma like mine had been.
“I thought she was going to have a stroke right then and there.” Anna shudders.
“I’m surprised Mr. Whitmore didn’t.”
Anna twists her body to look at me. “You came to my defense.”
“Of course I did.”
Tears well up in her eyes again and she says, voice thick with emotion, “You came to my defense.”
“Are you stuck?” I flash her a grin. “I wasn’t the only one who did.” I waggle my eyebrows suggestively.
Anna shakes her head. “That’s over. Whatever could have happened can’t now. They’ll never welcome me into the family again, not after what we’ve done.”
“It’s not up to them,” says a deep voice behind us.
Anna and I whirl around to see Leo.
I narrow my eyes at him. “How long have you been standing there?”
“Not long.” He lowers himself to sit next to Anna.
I can feel her body vibrating with nerves.
What I saw between them in Aspen was stoked by a flurry of texting while we were in Greece.
The moment she stopped worrying about how I would react, Anna relaxed into enjoying what could be.
And in just those few days, a side of her she’d kept tucked away began to blossom.
“What you guys did was…” Leo stops, searching for the correct word.
“Stupid?” Anna offers.
“Insane,” I say at the same time.
“Inspired,” Leo says with a chuckle. “It’s exactly the kind of thing Zoe would have done.”
“But we ruined everything. Your parents hate us now. We turned her memorial into a shit-show.” Anna buries her face in her hands.
Leo moves a strand of her hair behind her ear and a little part of me melts at his tenderness.
“You didn’t ruin everything,” he says, emphasizing the last word.
“In case you haven’t noticed, my parents don’t handle grief well.
And they didn’t allow themselves to really get to know the version of Zoe that existed without Ava.
They loved her, don’t get me wrong, but they were afraid of her.
They were afraid of losing her and having to feel that same awful grief again.
Give them time. They didn’t mean what they said. And they don’t hate you.”
Leo sets his palm face up on his thigh, an invitation. Anna hesitates, her body shifting slightly in my direction.
I bump her shoulder gently then lean forward so I can see Leo. “What can we do to make things right?”
“Nothing. Really. Zoe wanted you to be besties again. And I suspect she also wanted this final goodbye to be a way for our family to let go. Right now, I think we should honor her with a swim since that was on her bucket list. And then I’m taking the two of you to dinner with my family.”
“Really?” Anna is wary.
“Really,” he says. Leo wiggles his fingers, and she finally clasps his hand. “Have you considered what I texted during your flight?”
Next to me, Anna tenses and I notice a slight tug-of-war happening with their hands. She shakes her head in response to his question.
Leo’s mouth tightens and he releases her hand.
“What text?” I ask, leaning into Anna, which pushes her shoulder into Leo.
“I asked Anna if I could take her on a proper date when we return home,” Leo answers when it’s clear Anna has lost the power of speech.
“You did?” I meet his eyes, a smile starting to spread across my face.
He nods.
I bump Anna’s shoulder with mine. “He did?”
She nods.
“And?” When neither of them answers, I add, “For god’s sake, you two. Get on with it. We all know it’s a yes.”
“Is it?” Leo asks, twisting his upper body to look directly into Anna’s eyes.
She nods again, this time making eye contact with Leo.
Leo leans in to kiss her and our eyes briefly connect.
“Okay then.” I abruptly stand, pull off my swimsuit cover, and hurl my third-wheel self into the water.
A minute later, I hear the double splash as Leo and Anna jump in after me. Well, Z, you did it. You made it all happen.
The water shimmers invitingly where the sunlight is cut off by the cave entrance.
I can hear a couple of people laughing inside, their happiness reverberating off the stone walls and ceiling.
I stop just inside the cool shade of the cave to catch my breath.
Not from the effort of the swim. Standing on the top step of the ladder leading into the water is a young woman in a teal tankini, her blonde hair in a braid.
She’s laughing at her two friends who are treading water and splashing at her.
She turns when she sees me swim up and smiles, then cannonballs over her friends.
Her smile was pure Zoe.
I turn and swim back to Anna and Leo. “Come on, you two, it’s time to go toast Zoe.”