12. The Prince’s Offer #2
“Tell me what he did!” I shook Leif’s shoulder a little as rage engulfed my heart. I knew it was a mistake! I should have followed them! Or stopped them!
“NOTHING!” Leif cut his outburst short as he realized he was attracting attention from the others around us. He then continued in a tauter, quieter, pleading voice, “Just drop it, Fenris, please!”
I had fucking warned Damien that if he dared to break Leif’s heart, I would break his head!
I shot up and stormed in the direction where Damien had left with Leif before. Leif was calling after me, but I ignored him. I wasn’t even sure where Damien was. All I could think was that I needed to know what the hell Damien did to my brother, now!
Tracing Damien’s scent in the air, I found him on the shoreline, opposite the side where the barge was docked.
There wasn’t much lamplight, but the moonlight was brighter than anywhere else.
It poured over Damien’s sculptural form, coating him in a silver sheen.
The river water rushed over the pebbles, reaching for Damien’s feet, but could never touch him. He looked distant and forlorn.
And yet, I was in no mood to admire his beauty. I marched directly at him. He probably heard my rapid steps and turned around, but before he could say anything, I shoved him hard.
He stumbled back but steadied himself in time. He gawked at me and said, “What was that for?!”
“What the fuck did you do to Leif?!” I snarled like an enraged lion.
Damien sighed and said, as though talking to a petulant child, “Can you calm down? It’s not what you think.”
“WHAT. DID. YOU. DO!” I hissed with each step I took, my hands balled up into fists, ready to punch.
“I told him that I like him, and that he is brilliant and beautiful. But I can’t love him.
Not in the ways he deserves to be loved,” Damien said, his voice calmer than the silent night sky expanding around us.
“I told him the truth, so he won’t fall for me and get hurt later.
I was doing exactly what you wanted me to do. ”
I gawked at him, suddenly unsure what to do next. I did tell him not to play with Leif’s feelings. Technically, he was doing the right thing by telling Leif early on, even though it would temporarily upset Leif.
It felt like all my raging emotions suddenly fell off a cliff, and I had no grounds left to be angry at him anymore.
“So this is it? You are going to choose someone else?” I asked, unsure why my tone was still so sharp. I probably didn’t even know how to talk to him normally without growling, hissing, or yelling.
“I guess that depends on Leif,” he said cryptically.
“What do you mean? I thought you had rejected him?”
Damien sighed, as though bracing himself for my reaction. “I told Leif that, even though I cannot love him, I can still be your clan’s ally. And we can make some arrangements.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What kind of arrangements?”
“Political marriage happens all the time, you know? People don’t have to love each other to get married.
Just like my parents,” he said nonchalantly, as though he hadn’t just revealed something very personal to me.
“I can still choose Leif at the ball, make him my Luna, and I will have your clan as my ally, backing you against the vampires. In return, you’ll give me a doorway to unite the North, since you are the largest northern clan.
Meanwhile, I won’t interfere with Leif’s personal life; he can have as many lovers as he wants, as long as he is careful and doesn’t get pregnant with another alpha or beta’s cub. ”
That sounded so ... depressing. However, I had to admit it was a rational proposal.
But if all he wanted was a political marriage, then why consider Leif at all? We were not the most valuable candidates. Winterthrope was large and ancient, but we were far from Erevos and had no footing in the Kingdom of Nocturne. The vampire threat further diminished our strength.
Meanwhile, Eclipse was the second-largest clan in Nocturne and had a much stronger influence in the south. If he were just looking for a useful ally to prepare for the potential struggle for the throne, wouldn’t Lovel be a better choice?
Nevertheless, I said, “I won’t sell Leif’s whole life to a fake marriage.”
“This is also the only way for me to stay around you in the next year without raising any questions,” Damien said, gesturing at his own neck. “Or do you prefer to suffer through three excruciating months and pray that you won’t be found out?”
“Am I supposed to believe you proposed this arrangement for me?” I said sarcastically. “Should I be grateful for your consideration?”
“Why are you so determined to hate me?” he said, his voice vibrating with a bleak weight. The moonlight shone into the depths of his brown irises, turning them golden, and I couldn’t tell the intentions swirling in those amber lakes.
I crossed my arms and replied coldly, “You really have to ask?”
He began to approach me, slowly and deliberately, and he spoke with the same rhythm as his pace. “Like it or not. You bear my mating mark. I’m responsible for your well-being.”
I scoffed, trying to ignore the tingling sensation spreading under my skin as he drew closer. “I don’t need you to ‘take care’ of me. I’m an alpha just like you!”
“Really?” He stood right in front of me, his scent wafted over me like an alluring fog. He placed a hand on my neck, with his index finger brushing against my chin, while saying in a husky voice, “Why do I get the impression that you like being taken care of?”
Damien’s touch ignited a wildfire under my skin, spreading all over my body in less than a second, melting all my senses and thoughts. It came so fast and effortlessly that it scared me.
I had never felt like this when I was with betas or omegas, not even when I was with Johnathan.
“Fuck off ...” I muttered, though completely unconvincingly. I should have slapped his hand away, but I just stood there, letting his finger caress my neck.
He leaned in slightly, inhaled deeply near my neck with his eyes closed, as though he was sniffing something intoxicating, yet he let out a frustrated groan.
“I wish you didn’t have the mask on … I’ve been dreaming about your scent since that day.
” Damien’s breaths brushed against my ear like the touch of a feather, and it slithered into my body, plucking at some invisible strings deeply inside my core.
I was melting in his scent, his voice, and his touch.
“You shouldn’t ...” I whispered, not even believing my own words. “It was a mistake.”
“Did it feel like a mistake to you?” Damien asked as he turned to look me in my eyes. His face was so close to mine that his long eyelashes were almost brushing my skin. I could see the radial streaks in his brown irises; they were like two maelstroms sucking me in.
“I don’t even like you,” I muttered. And yet, I didn’t stop him when his hand slid down to my waist and suddenly pulled me in possessively, pressing our bodies against each other. I could feel the strength and power in his body, as well as his awakened hardness, and he could also feel mine.
“At least some part of you likes me, it would seem.” He grinned smugly.
“Will you shut up?” I grumbled. My cheeks hotter than coals in a furnace.
Our lips were merely an inch apart when the wind carried Leif’s calling to our ears.
It was like I was jolted awake from a fever dream, and I quickly pulled away.
Damien did the same. One second, we were about to kiss, and the next, we were ten steps away, as though avoiding each other like the plague.
Leif found us like that, standing on the shore, staring at each other like two startled beasts.
To my surprise, Johnathan had come with Leif, likely out of concern for his safety being alone in the woods. Johnathan looked anxious when he noticed the tension between Damien and me, probably thinking we were about to have another fight.
“Fenris! What are you doing!” Leif rushed to my side, nervously glancing in Damien’s direction.
“Nothing,” I replied, hoping my voice sounded flat enough. “We were just talking.”
Damien nodded. His countenance closed up like a shut door, and he unceremoniously said to Johnathan, “We were not fighting, don’t worry.”
Johnathan looked relieved, then he told us that it was time to board the ship.
Leif had been avoiding looking in Damien’s direction, and the hurt of being rejected by someone he had started to like was still fresh in his eyes.
I placed a hand on his shoulder and said softly, “Let’s go back.”
Leif nodded, and we left first.
Johnathan stayed behind with Damien but gave me a gentle nod before we left.
On the returning journey, I stayed with Leif in a private parlour. He looked tired and wan, half from the late hour, half from despondency.
Eventually, he fell asleep while leaning on me, just like he used to do when we were younger.
I looked through the small window, staring at the distant forest. A sense of guilt gnawed at my gut.
I wondered if Damien saying he couldn’t love Leif was, at least partially, because of what we did. Leif obviously liked Damien. Did I snuff out their chance of being a happy couple?
One thing was for sure. I would not want Leif to be trapped in a loveless relationship, even though Damien had offered a precious alliance. I suppose we should return to Winterthrope after tonight.
But then ... it would mean I might not see Damien anytime soon, if ever. I would have to grit my teeth and go through three months of hellish Lovelorn disease while hoping no one would notice it. Was it even possible?
What if the vampires attacked then? How should I fight them when I couldn’t even get my shit together?
I had seen what Lovelorn disease could do to a person ...
It was ... more than horrible. It was depressing, soul-crushing, tormenting, and not only for the person afflicted, but also for those around them.
Even if the person survived, it would leave an invisible scar on their soul, and they would never be the same.