Chapter 22
MATTHIAS
You forget, Seth, the boy king lived under my roof for six years.
He’s in possession of a rather impressive rebellious streak and an overwhelming desire to right the injustices of the world.
It’s merely a matter of sitting back and waiting for him to fuck up and connect the tattered threads of his throne to the rebels as Raul did.
And then, Seth, then we finally swoop in, dissolve the Elmswood line from existence and share Asmar’s spoils.
— LETTER FROM KING ROMERO IV TO KING SETH OF ITORAS
My soul raged as Sorrow swept past. That face, the one I defied a God for, refused to turn my way.
Her wolf set his amber gaze on me, a myriad of warnings flashing through them as I bucked feebly against the rebels holding me back.
That man, broad, with a mess of wild hair – why had she followed him?
The hands holding me back loosened and I dragged myself free, gripping my head.
With my eyes scrunched, I forced myself to take a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
I didn’t need to wonder what was happening to me.
The knowledge settled like silt in my stomach.
The fucking tattoo was not only robbing me of my life, but stealing my sanity, and worse, I didn’t know if I was drawn towards my Sorrow because of our love or my unwilling vow to the empress.
My grip on my emotions had always been tenuous, and my anger was never far away when it came to someone harming Sorrow, but the thoughts raging through my mind?
That wasn’t me. The way I’d stared at Raine as the fog approached, hungrily contemplating their death.
And the man? Sorrow’s… guard? Companion?
I hadn’t given her a moment to speak before a tsunami of jealousy flooded everything I was.
I raised my head, closed my eyes tighter to halt the pain burrowing any deeper. Raine nudged my shoulder. Cracking my eyes open I met their scowl.
‘The fuck?’ they signed, and a half-laugh hung in my throat.
I placed my hand on the base of my back before signing. ‘It’s poisoning me. I need to find her. Explain.’
‘Can I trust you?’
And there it was. The anger, burning harshly in my chest. I waited a few heartbeats before I signed my answer.
‘My wife will always be safe with me.’ Even as I signed the words, I doubted my own heart. I stood, my body following Sorrow as though she were a ruby herself.
Raine signed for Sacha. ‘It’s not her I worry for. If you attack any more of her companions, you put our alliance with Asmar at risk.’ They laughed at my scowl. ‘Sacha will aid you. Bring you back here so we can discuss our next steps.’
I nodded, my jaw tight as I stumbled from the room, past the stench of cigarillos with Sacha on my heels and desperation in my soul.
The moment I’d forced my way through the door of the debating chamber, as I heard her voice on the other side, I almost wept with relief.
She lived, breathed. And somehow, she was here.
I swallowed deeply, suddenly frozen. Her long hair was loosely braided, hanging to those delicious hips.
The wolf turned, sniffed the air before growling his warning.
Did her oversized rug smell the decay lingering in my soul?
Sorrow’s head turned a fraction, and the amber light of the weak lamp spilled across her profile and stole what little breath remained in my lungs. Gods, I loved her.
The room was captivated. She swayed opinions as her deceptively sweet tone carried over the chamber, and I couldn’t hold back the force of my heart bursting. Even as her words damned me. My crown.
‘So that’s it,’ she’d said, her shoulders sagging, and my heart twisted.
I knew what thoughts flew through her mind.
Sorrow wouldn’t be able to make out their expressions.
The awe, the respect, the conviction on the faces of those ensnared by the wonder that was my wife.
She couldn’t be certain her words weren’t wasted, but still she spoke.
Spoke as though the fate of the world was her burden alone.
‘We’re already free of Romero. Once we’re free of her, we can shape a new world. A fairer one. But I can’t say if we’ll ever get there unless we unite. So, Raine… hope.’
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. Oh Sorrow. Why would you ally us with rebels? There’d be another way. There’s always another way.
The pain of her loss had been a constant burn.
A torture worse than the flames of Vyrus only doused when I finally held her once more.
Quite simply, it was the purest moment of my life.
Then I destroyed it. I knew Sorrow’s love for me would never send her to seek solace with another.
But still, something in that man’s eyes, the way she’d said she needed him.
I clenched my fists. I had to keep my temper in check.
Apologise, just hold her again and never let go.
Even Vyrus wouldn’t be able tear her from my arms when I found her.
But the empress? Could she be the tainted sword severing us for all eternity?
When we were children, we never needed to know where the other was.
The craving to be near her would flow through my veins and, within moments, she’d be there.
The bewitching flame forever drawing my fragile moth.
If I told her she was my soul mate, that Evella created us simply for the other to exist, she’d scoff, probably curse loudly and roll those beautiful eyes of hers.
But as I gently prised open a half-closed door to a near-empty room, and found her leaning over a windowsill, I knew it was true.
I couldn’t bear the thought that the empress’s command had damned us. That my need for Sorrow was corrupted. The innocence of our love no more than ash in a pyre.
She exhaled a shaky breath, refusing to turn. Tears burned hot and fierce behind my eyes. What I wouldn’t do to take away the pain I’d caused her.
‘Sorrow?’
Her breath misted against the window; she swiped it away, as though she’d been scouring the dark courtyard beyond.
Rubbing my knuckles, I hovered in the doorway, waited for an answer she wasn’t willing to provide.
‘Sorrow, I’m so—’
‘Do you know?’ A sword sliced into my guts at her tone. Forgiveness was a long way off, if ever. ‘I can’t tell if it’s the damn fog out there or if it’s my fucking sight.’
‘I…’ I braved a few steps into the room, turning as Sacha lurked in the shadows beyond. ‘We just ran from the fog. It was bad.’
‘Were you hurt?’ She turned her head slightly, and I was desperate to tuck the loose strands of dark hair behind her perfect ears.
‘No.’ I chanced another step. ‘No. We’re all fine, thank Evella.’
‘Shame,’ she said, turning back to the window, her knuckles gripping the frame so tight I wondered how it didn’t fissure. ‘Evella truly has it in for me.’
I bit my lip, fighting the chuckle rising through me. Gods, she was a force even Vyrus would fear.
‘Well, she shackled you to me, so…’
‘That was your doing, Elmswood. I had no say in the matter. Remember?’
I closed my eyes, wincing. She may not be able to wield a sword, but my wife didn’t need a weapon in order to strike mortal wounds.
I rubbed the back of my neck, unsure what to say.
My words usually flowed like honey from a comb, but right now, nothing I could do or say would make up for all I’d cost her.
Her wolf strode forward, his amber gaze set on me. He sat down, raising his head and making sure I got a good eyeful of his sharp teeth. For once, I was grateful she had him. He’d tear me limb from limb rather than allow me to take her back to the empress.
‘Why?’ Sorrow spun around, her jaw clenching as she spat out the question I’d no idea how to answer.
‘Why did you do it, Matthias?’ She strode forward, her shaking fists clenched at her sides, and I braced myself for the incoming punch.
The punch I deserved. My stomach rumbled as though it anticipated her strike.
She stopped before me, her chest heaving as I stared at her.
Gods, with that beauty, how could I look anywhere else?
Her fierce eyes shone with misery – misery I’d caused.
Sweat dripped down my spine. I searched the room for the fire that must be roaring, but found the hearth bare.
She raised her fists, and I winced as pain sliced into my side.
Cracking my eyes open, I half-expected to see her pummelling me, but Sorrow’s fists stayed trembling by her side.
So why did it hurt, like a diafol had slammed into me?
Her lips moved, shaped words, the pounding in my ears drowned out.
What did she say? Why? Did she ask me why?
I gripped my head as she swayed and ran my tongue over my dry lips.
Why wouldn’t she stay still? My floundering hands reached out for the only creature able to tether me, my fingers closing on nothing.
The room tilted. Gasping for air, my damned head thundered and, grimacing against the stab in my guts, I slammed against the wooden floorboards.
Convulsing, my back arched, a raw scream burst through my cracked lips as the untamed darkness swelled in my guts.
It built, writhed, before bursting through me.
I rolled onto my front, my hot face slamming against the ice of the floor and for a split second, I lay there, relishing the cool against the sting of my cheek.
‘No,’ I groaned as thick, syrupy bile rose through me.
Hands brushed the hair from my eyes and, squinting through the tears, my heart spiked to find Sorrow on her knees.
Her expression lost as I twisted in agony.
The pain exploded, and I arched, my throat broken by a scream as the thick bile spilled from my lips.
Sorrow gasped as Sacha cursed and I didn’t need to look to know what poison my body was so keen to expel.
My body racked as I became nothing but the pollution.
Sorrow, my Sorrow, called my name as though she could command me to halt this slow death.
As suddenly as it arrived, the sickness stopped. Spitting out a black glob, cool hands held my clammy face. I dragged in air too quickly and coughed, bucking. Someone pushed me away from the mess I’d just purged. Sacha, I realised as my eyes cracked open and I wiped my face.
He cursed as Sorrow stroked my throbbing forehead. Turning, a new, weaker wave of sickness rolled over me as I saw what I’d produced. A puddle of writhing pitch black, laced with long streaks of bronze, steamed, and I closed my eyes, my breaths slowing.
‘Matthias?’ I glanced up at Sorrow, swiping the tears from my eyes. There was no pity in her tone. ‘It’s poisoning you, isn’t it?’
Nodding, I turned, clutching my stomach. If Mother got me the Evellum quickly, surely that would buy me a reprieve?
‘I…’ I spat out more filth. ‘I tried to scrape it off, but all I did was quicken the poison’s spread.’ Fear flashed through her eyes and I reached out, grasped her hand. ‘At least Evella blessed me with a final chance to see the only one I’ve ever loved.’
She rolled her eyes, and I barked out a laugh, wincing as it stretched the already tight ache in my chest.
‘So damned dramatic, Elmswood.’ Despite the pain cleaving me apart, my lips curled weakly, recalling how she’d said the same words in the bower.
Running a hand down her face, she expelled a long breath, when her eyes flew open.
‘Hawk,’ she cried, my heart dipping. Why did she keep crying out for another man?
The wolf slid effortlessly under her hand. ‘I need Hawk.’
Pain radiated through my clenched jaw. I pictured the guard, his sneer.
Who was this man who’d wormed his way into my wife’s affections quicker than an arrow?
Trust was something you had to earn with Sorrow.
And I, I ran a trembling hand down my face, had shattered her fledgling trust in me.
Even I couldn’t be certain Sorrow was safe in my arms.
I rolled onto my side, grimacing at my still-aching ribs and glared at the door where Sorrow had gone, determined to work out how this man had come from nowhere and captivated my wife.