Chapter 23
SORROW
I don’t know how to put it in words, but something about her aims goes beyond the terrifying and enters the nefarious.
She and that abbot of hers, they’re not just indiscriminately destroying the past. She’s searching for something, ensuring there’s no evidence.
Each book she burns removes a footprint and I wonder why she cares so much to cover her tracks. I have dire concerns for our existence.
— LETTER FROM KING MUSA TO QUEEN AMALA
Hawk – Vyrus – fucking God. Where the hell was the damned creature? My shallow breaths threatened to overwhelm me as I tore through corridor after corridor, clutching the wolf, searching for the one with the power to save Matthias.
A healer may be able to ease some of his symptoms, but Vyrus was the only one with the ability to drain the defilement from his flesh and free him completely.
The God had left that debating room only moments before myself.
I’d smelt the stale alcohol as I stumbled away.
Away from the husband I’d missed with a pain more dire than any mortal wound.
I’d despised Matthias in that moment. The man raging before me, attacking a god, was not my Matthias.
But the monster wearing my husband’s skin was a beast of his own creation.
King Matthias had faced a choice. Ink a poisonous tattoo onto his back in order to save his throne or fulfil his vow to me.
But the man slumped in the arms of the rebels he despised?
The green eyes brimming over with angst and shame?
My heart beat a dull thud. That was my Matthias.
But even as I swore into every empty room I found as I searched for his salvation, I wondered if that truly was my husband, or a macabre puppet sent by his empress to gather the Deviant she’d set her husk of a heart on owning?
A sickness rose within. All the pain, the tears and grief he’d laid at my feet swallowed me. Walking away had torn my soul to shreds, but what was I supposed to do? Forgive him? Kiss his tattoo better?
I tugged Pablo’s fur.
‘Where is the… man?’
He set his amber eyes on mine, almost raised a brow as though he’d wondered when I was going to ask him, and headed deeper into The Void.
The lack of Vyrium lamps unnerved me; their far-weaker oil counterparts burnt at set intervals, spilling rusty light through the corridors.
It was as though the rebels were making a statement.
That we relied on Vyrium too much. And Matthias was here…
here amongst those he blamed for the demise of his father, the shame coating the name of Elmswood.
Had they rescued him? Did Matthias also view an alliance as the only way forward?
I doubted it. The mutual distrust was a deep cut.
I fought back the tears at the prospect this was some ploy of the empress.
Did my husband carry out her wishes while whispering words of love?
After the way he’d attacked Vyrus, how he’d slumped to the ground vomiting that noxious substance, I wasn’t sure I even knew him any more.
Judging by the low light flitting through the windows, it was almost morn.
My body screamed for rest, but how could I ever sleep again knowing Matthias’s salvation was somewhere in this damn labyrinth?
Pablo stood at the top of a long set of wide stairs leading into yet more darkness.
The muted sound of glass bottles clattered from below, and I groaned.
‘He’s found the wine cellar, hasn’t he?’ The wolf sneezed. Yes, then. I heaved in a deep breath. If I were going to give my husband a chance to make up for all the pain he’d caused, I needed the God – whatever state he was currently in. He couldn’t get that drunk, surely?
Gripping Pab a bit tighter, I strode down the stairs. The gloom stole my sight completely and the wolf pushed himself against my leg, helping me find the steps. A tiny flicker of amber broke through the dark.
‘Vy—’ I stopped, the God’s warning about keeping his identity secret at the fore of my mind. ‘Hawk?’ The ground evened and I headed towards the light, cursing as my boot skimmed a bottle. ‘Hawk?’
I bent down and lifted a candle almost burnt to the wick.
Pablo padded forward as I squinted at the walls, the hazy glittering of bottle after bottle.
I raised a brow. The rebels certainly weren’t denied a few comforts then?
It was clear some of those nobles had made a detour through their family’s stocks of the finest red before their exile.
A yip, barely there, dragged my attention from the rebels’ stores to the wolf. I cursed, barely able to make out his great form when I noticed a figure sprawled next to him… snoring… drunk.
‘Damn.’ I knelt down, the panic swarming through my chest, shoving the candle as close to his face as I could. ‘Damn.’
The great and powerful God we all feared lay half-comatose on the cold tiles of a wine cellar. I pinched the top of my nose. Surely our almighty deity would be better equipped to hold his liquor? He lay on his side, knees curled up, one arm over his eyes, wheezing.
Pablo sniffed Vyrus’s forehead, tilting his head as the God belched and sneezed straight into his face. He didn’t even register the wolf’s presence as Pab lifted a paw and poked the greatest divine being in the universe.
Grabbing his shoulder, I shook him.
Vyrus’s hand grabbed mine.
‘Sleepy,’ he drawled. ‘You. Off. Fuck.’
I pushed the hair from my face. I didn’t care if he could bring about the end of days with a click of his fingers. The ability to draw the Vyrium from Matthias’s skin lay in his hands and I’d risk his all-vengeful anger time and time again to save the man I loved.
I shook harder. ‘Wake up.’
He batted me away, a low grumble rumbling through him before emitting a heavy fart. Pablo whined, backing away.
‘I do not have time for this.’ My palm hovered over his cheek. Could I really slap a god? The glint of a bottle lying behind his head caught my attention and I grabbed it. A quick shake confirmed it still held a fair bit and I poured it over him. Apart from a low snore, Vyrus didn’t react.
‘Damn you.’ I grabbed his sodden shirt and, groaning, lifted him till he sat. ‘Wake up, you stupid man. I need you.’
One eye glinted in the dark. My shoulders slumped.
‘Wha’ d’ya wan’?’
I gripped his shoulders as he fell forward, his head slamming into my jaw.
‘You, you silly man. Sober up, for Evella’s sake. I need you. I fucking need—’
‘You need him?’
Letting go of the God, who promptly slumped into my arms, I turned to the steps. Even with the orange glow of the lamp, I couldn’t make out the two figures halfway down the steps. I didn’t need to see them to recognise my husband’s voice, though.
Closing my eyes, I sighed as Matthias stepped slowly, deliberately, towards me and the God.
‘Why…’ He took a deep breath. ‘Why exactly do you need him, Sorrow?’
Whoever had accompanied Matthias hovered on the steps. I had to watch my words. I couldn’t piss the God off now and risk him abandoning me. Us.
‘Tell me what you think, Matthias?’ My breath caught as his features came into shaky focus. Did a muscle click in his jaw?
‘Okay.’
Oh, he was going to have to drop that dark tone.
‘Let me rephrase it.’
He knelt down, the light in his eyes flickering between me and the God. A God I realised remained clutched in my embrace. Groaning, I pushed Vyrus up, battled to hold him steady.
‘Is there a reason you’re… holding this man and telling him you need him?’
I swallowed as my husband’s voice cracked at the effort he exuded in order to hold his temper in check.
‘Who is he?’
It was my turn to swallow. Why Matthias, this inebriated man currently swaying before you is Vyrus. Yes, that Vyrus and he holds the key to ridding you of that damned tattoo. I just need to sober him up and ensure you don’t kill him.
Vyrus’s eyes flew open, his head swung in Matthias’s direction, a feral grin lit up his face.
‘I’m her… pa-papa, grand pappy.’ He barked out a laugh as I let go, wincing as the back of his head slammed against the ground.
‘Hawk. We commandeered his boat.’
I tilted my head, sensing the anger roiling through Matthias.
‘You might recall how we left you in Asmar. Or were you too busy fighting my corpses?’
His harsh gaze snapped onto mine. Even in the shadows, I saw the warning flickering through. A reminder that the man I loved was possessed by another.
His fingers reached for me, hovering close to my hand. I glanced down, my own hand twitching as I instinctively moved towards him.
No. I still couldn’t trust him. And I was still pissed.
‘He’s helping, Matthias.’ Well, for the time being anyway. ‘Helping us sort this shit we’ve fallen in. A mess we could have avoided if you hadn’t gotten that tattoo.’
Vyrus let out a wet belch. Matthias grimaced as he looked down at the sprawled God.
‘And he’s…’ My heart lurched as his eyes met mine, his brows furrowed and the boy I adored was at my side once more. ‘He’s the best we’ve got?’ A half-laugh burst through my lips.
‘I hate to interrupt, but we’re already late for the meeting. Raine won’t wait.’
The darkness entered Matthias’s eyes once more and I swallowed against the dagger slicing through my chest. Standing, he held out his hand to me.
I stared at it for a few moments before shaking my head, instead gripping Pablo, a low rumble roiling through him as he kept his amber gaze on Matthias.
Matthias’s hand fell limply to his side, and my heart twisted to see the hem of his shirt already hanging over his hip.
I still had so many questions and Hawk wouldn’t be any use to me till he’d sobered, but I wasn’t entirely sure I could trust this man.
Not until that tattoo was well and truly gone.
Still, giving the God’s boot a good kick, I followed my husband.