Chapter Twenty-Two
The press were eating it up, but unfortunately so was I. Even though I knew something like that was on the horizon and I knew it was all a publicity set-up, I still felt an uncomfortable prickling when I read the article.
Josh and I were standing side by side, watching on the monitor as Darcy and Max filmed a scene where Loreia Buckthorn held Alder hostage.
Seeing her in costume and full hair and makeup was always fun: regular Darcy turned even more spiky and sharp.
I had to admit after all my initial misgivings, she was actually the perfect choice for Loreia and scenes like this where she could go full high camp villain were her forte.
‘You’re quiet today,’ Josh observed, tearing a curving section off his usual pain au raisin.
‘No, I’m not!’ I said, too defensively.
‘Whatever you say . . .’ His tone was infuriatingly light, but I wouldn’t have believed me either.
We stood in silence a moment longer, watching Darcy stuff a rag into Max’s mouth, something that would surely spark a thousand memes made by fans begging Darcy to do that to them.
He kept his eyes on the monitor. ‘Wouldn’t have anything to do with me going for dinner with Darcy last night, would it?’
‘No!’
‘Because it would be OK if it did.’
I exhaled loudly. ‘If it did, then it’s not for the reasons you’re thinking.’
‘What reasons would they be?’
‘That I’m, you know, jealous or something silly like that.’
‘And what would the correct reasons be?’
I thought for a moment, trying to think how to express it. I wasn’t lying (well, only a little bit), there was more to it than just a faint, disgusting jealous feeling. ‘I just think it makes you look like a player and me and Darcy look like we’re fighting over you, that’s all.’
He chewed his pastry thoughtfully. ‘That makes sense.’
I mean, maybe I was a little bit jealous, but I was also right about the dynamics of the thing.
I eyed him with suspicion. ‘So you’re not going to tell me I’m being crazy and overreacting? You’re not going to roll your eyes at me?’
Josh shook his head. ‘Nah. You’ve got a point. Would have been much more progressive if we’d had me and you fighting over Darcy or some other permutation. The way we’ve got it set up is actually the least interesting way, right?’
I laughed. ‘Right! Unfortunately I am, very boringly, one hundred per cent straight.’
‘Do you wish it had been the other way around?’
‘How do you mean?’
‘Like I’d stepped out with Darcy first, then you. So it looks like you’re the alpha dog, or whatever?’
‘Don’t be ridiculous,’ I said, rolling my eyes even though he was a bit right. It was annoying when Josh was right, and he was right more than usual these days. It was starting to feel like he actually might understand what went on in my brain for the first time ever. I didn’t really like it.
‘Well,’ he said, still not taking his eyes off the monitor, ‘you’re the one that gets the kiss.’
I gulped down a sensation of rising fear. I hated being reminded of that. Why couldn’t it have been right at the beginning of the shoot to get it out of the way, rather than right at the end so it was always looming over the horizon. ‘You say that like it’s some big prize.’
He clutched at his chest, fake-wounded. ‘You mean it’s not?’ His infuriating lopsided grin was wider than ever.
‘Shut up.’ I couldn’t help rolling my eyes.
‘But for real, you feeling OK about the whole thing? I feel kinda bad now for pushing the . . . uh, spiciness, of the scene.’
‘Did you just do it because you knew I’d hate it?’ I asked, flatly.
‘Uh, yeah, a little bit. I thought it would be funny, given we had to do the kiss either way because it’s in the book.’ Josh raised his arm and tossed the last bite of his pastry into his mouth.
‘And now here we are,’ I said, because I didn’t know what else to say. As Josh’s arm fell to his side again, I felt it faintly brush against mine, the backs of our hands grazing each other just for a moment. My stomach lurched.
‘Here we are,’ Josh repeated, but now he sounded . . . serious? Apprehensive? As if reality had set in for him, too.