Chapter Twenty-Three
Shoots always seemed to pass in the blink of an eye but this Wonderwick had gone by especially fast. It felt like one minute we were doing final fittings for costumes, and the next we were barrelling towards my last scene before I headed off to Ireland to film Orientations.
And of course the last scene we were shooting was The Kiss.
The dreaded kiss. The anticipated kiss. Whichever way you looked at it, it was a kiss. Between me and Josh.
The big moment came one Thursday morning when outside the studio it was pouring with rain but on the sound stage, the fake sun was filtering through to a treetop in Wonderwick Woods.
But first, Chloe had news. Big news: Tom Dwyer who had originally been cast in Orientations had dropped out and been replaced at the last minute with none other than Ben Sage-Whittle.
How’s THAT for strategic?! Obviously no pressure if you’ve changed your mind since coffee, but!
!! Auspicious! Chloe had emailed enthusiastically.
That was something to look forward to, a much-needed diversion from .
. . whatever it was I was feeling about Josh.
I waved at Martin going into his trailer from across the car park and he beckoned me over. ‘Ems, are we feeling all right? I know you were a little apprehensive about today,’ Martin asked me, arms folded across his chest in a pose of concern that I could see right through.
‘I’m feeling fine,’ I reassured him, not that it would make any difference if I wasn’t. ‘Just ready to get on with it.’
‘That’s the spirit! And the little addition?
’ He raised his eyebrows expectantly. The ‘little addition’ was me pushing Josh against a tree trunk, to show this wasn’t just a gentle, romantic kiss as it was written in the book, this was passionate and it was all coming from me. Or rather from Linderley.
‘That’s fine, too.’
‘Because we can always take it out if you really don’t want to?’
I shook my head. ‘No, if that’s what you guys think is best.’
‘I promise you, Ems, I’m going to keep everything as short as possible,’ he said in a tone so placating it was almost patronising. ‘It’ll be over as soon as you know it!’
‘Great, thanks, Martin. Was there anything else?’
‘No, no, you get on with things and I’ll see you there.’
I took myself off to craft services for a herbal tea, knowing coffee would only make me even more jittery, plus I didn’t want to have coffee breath to kiss Josh with. On the way back, I saw Josh leaning against the basketball hoop outside his trailer, phone in one hand, vape in the other.
‘I thought you were committed to the real stuff?’ I nodded down at his vape.
‘I’m trying to quit altogether but . . . it’s a hard habit to break.’
‘I think you can do it. I mean, you’ve changed enough over the past few months, how hard can it be to give up smoking?
’ I said with a laugh. I was still nervous, but there was something soothing about being around Josh today.
I’d often criticised his laid-back demeanour as a sign he didn’t care, but today it felt like exactly what I needed.
‘Well, today it’s all for you, Montgomery,’ he said, sliding the vape into his pocket.
‘Oh?’
‘I figured it would be polite.’ He shrugged. ‘To you, I mean. For the kiss.’ He didn’t meet my gaze, and I felt like I was missing out on an opportunity to look into his soft, brown eyes.
‘That’s . . . very considerate, Josh. I should be changing into costume so I’ll see you out there?’ He gave me a little salute and I disappeared into my trailer to dress.
As someone who prided myself on always feeling on top of things, it struck me that I very much did not feel on top of things right then.
I liked being certain! Liked being prepared!
I did not like . . . whatever this was. I was dreading the kiss but also part of me was looking forward to it.
Josh had been my work nemesis for the past seven years and now not only was he being kind and professional, I was feeling .
. . stirrings for him. I wanted to get out of there and head to Ireland (and Ben!) but I also didn’t want this chapter of Wonderwick to end.
When Carrie knocked on my trailer door to pick me up, I jumped about a foot in the air. I’d just finished my third swirl of mouthwash that day.
‘You feeling all right?’ she asked me, holding my phone as Juliet did final touch-ups on my makeup before we started shooting.
Butterflies zoomed around my stomach but I told her I was fine.
She handed me my phone for one last check of my emails before we started filming, but on the screen was a text from my dad.
Hope shoot is going well, darling. OK if I move some more money around?
I didn’t have time to think too much about it so just fired off a quick reply that it was all going well and it was fine for him to do whatever he needed. I handed the phone back to Carrie and headed towards my mark on the sound stage.
George the hair stylist was shielding Josh’s face with one hand as he aimed a canister of hairspray at his head with the other.
Despite George’s best efforts, Josh burst out into a wheezing cough and he doubled over, trying to catch his breath.
He looked so vulnerable, not at all like the mischievous, destructive person I’d known for so long.
We stood on our marks. We had filmed the preceding dialogue of the scene the day before, so today was just about shooting the few lines leading up to the kiss, and the kiss itself. Quiet descended onto set and I heard Jonas call action. My stomach lurched. It was happening.
Josh had the first line: ‘I can’t help but feel things are different between us now. Things have changed, haven’t they?’
‘I think maybe they have,’ I said, my mouth dry.
‘So . . . what now?’ Josh infused his line with such a hunger that I desperately hoped he would be able to recreate on the next take. It felt so raw, so urgent, like if Rowan and Linderley didn’t resolve things now now now then he would lose his mind.
He was looking at me in a way that Rowan had never looked at Linderley before, and in that moment I realised that was the point.
The kiss hadn’t come out of nowhere, instead it had been built up to over everything the characters had gone through together, the way they had changed and grown up, the things they’d seen and done.
The people they had lost and found, and the people they had become.
Finally, the last line before the kiss. I wondered if the camera could pick up the way I was shaking.
‘Rowan, I want this. I want you,’ I said, fixing him with a look of such intensity I felt like I could burn a hole right through him.
I stepped forward and put my arms around him, our lips meeting, me pushing him up against the trunk of the tree, his tongue in my mouth, his hands around my waist, the hunger with which we were devouring each other under the studio lights, in this make-believe world.
It was like we were in a bubble, where all that mattered was this kiss.
That this kiss was the point of the whole film, maybe the point of my whole life.
I felt him reach between the waistband of my skirt and the billowing linen shirt I was wearing on top and feel the skin on my back, pulling me towards him with the same force with which I was drawing him towards me.
It felt like we were melting into each other, two magnets finally close enough to snap together.
I knew that on the next take I would do it with even more force, even more passion.
I wanted to experience it again, except more, more, more.
I wanted to do it again and again, for the lighting to be wrong, for the sound to be off, for a stray hair to have fallen across my face.
I wanted to kiss Josh again and again because this was the place that I could do it, where it was safe and controlled and nothing was real, it was all just the magic of Wonderwick.
‘Cut!’ Jonas called, and approving chatter burst out across the set.
But Josh and I couldn’t move apart. It was as if there was a spell on us and we were glued together, gazes locked on each other, his eyes scanning my face, maybe looking for a reaction, to see what I was thinking, feeling.
Our breathing was heavy, both of our chests rising and falling intensely.
His hands felt hot around my waist and I simultaneously craved distance from him and didn’t want us to let go.
‘That was . . . better than the last one, right?’ I said quietly, as we finally moved away from each other.
‘The last one?’ Josh asked, frowning at me. I swallowed. Clearly he didn’t remember, but I did. A stupid prank he had played on me at the wrap party for the second Wonderwick film, something that cemented my complete lack of trust for him.
‘Nothing.’ I shook my head.
‘We’re gonna have to do it again like eight more times, aren’t we?
’ Josh said, apprehensively. It was funny to see him out of sorts like this, not his usual laid-back self.
I thought he was well up for this and that I was the one who was nervous, but right now it seemed like he was out of his depth while I was at least pretending to keep it all together.
‘Only eight if we’re lucky. I bet Martin will make us do twelve takes.’
‘Speak of the devil.’ Josh glanced over my shoulder and I turned to see Martin striding towards us, beaming.
‘That was absolute perfection, kids! And I loved that sneaky little hand movement, Josh, you sly dog!’
Josh reddened instantly. ‘Oh, gosh, sorry about that, Emily. I got a bit carried away, didn’t I?’
I shook my head. ‘It was completely fine,’ I said, a little too quickly.
‘I won’t do it again next time,’ Josh assured me, which made something sink in my chest.
Martin held up a hand. ‘Don’t worry about a next time. I couldn’t have asked for a better take myself. I mean, literally – we don’t even need to do another one! I think everyone around here could do with an early finish. You’re free to go.’
That was it? We were done? It was all over? I felt like I had crashed down to earth with a bump.
‘What?’ Josh gaped at him in disbelief.
‘Look, I know it was a whole thing, all this silly hype and build-up, but it’s done now! You nailed it, we got a perfect take, let’s not let it get stale by repeating it over and over again. You did a great job and I’m proud of you.’
‘Thanks, Martin,’ I said, smiling weakly as he strode off. If I’d known it was the only take, I would have . . . what? What would I have done? I didn’t know, but I knew that something felt off, incomplete, unresolved.
Josh and I stood in silence for a moment. It was as if everyone but Martin knew to leave us alone, just for a moment.
‘Well.’ I looked away. ‘That’s me done.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘I’m on another film, I have to go to Ireland. This was my last day on Wonderwick.’
‘Oh, of course,’ Josh said, a look of surprise passing across his face. ‘Sure, I knew that. I guess I just forgot . . . amid all the . . . you know.’
I nodded. ‘Well, this has certainly been an interesting shoot.’
‘Sure has, Montgomery,’ he said, fixing me with a sad smile.
I held my arms out for him, something I can’t remember volunteering to do once on Wonderwicks gone by. ‘This really has been an interesting shoot,’ he said.
He pulled me tight against him and I could feel the taut muscles of his chest against mine, trying not to run my hands over his broad back.
‘Thank you for . . . you know, for trying,’ I said quietly into his ear.
‘Thank you for believing that I could try,’ he whispered back.
And then it was all over. He was being whisked off to another stage and I was left adrift. What was even the point of me now? I thought to myself as I headed back to my trailer.
Darcy was strolling towards me, dressed in her Loreia Buckthorn costume and makeup. She had her last scene today too, while Josh was staying on another few days to film bits that neither of us were in.
‘One take, huh?’
‘I’m as surprised as anyone!’ I said as brightly as I could manage. My head was spinning, I didn’t want to be feeling all of this right now.
‘We were watching on the monitor.’ She looked over her shoulder to where a few of the supporting cast were deep in intense conversation. ‘You fucking nailed it.’
‘I guess we did!’
‘And it turns out Linderley was the real girl boss all along, not Loreia.’
‘Ha,’ I said, weakly.
She was eyeing me warily, something guarded in her expression. ‘And was it, like, real?’
‘What do you mean, real?’
‘You know, like a real kiss,’ she asked, expectantly.
‘We just did what we had to do for the scene, that’s all!’
She paused for a moment. ‘I can just . . . never figure out what’s going on with you two, you know?’
‘Nothing’s going on,’ I said, which was true.
She nodded, like that was enough for her. ‘So, you’re off?’
‘To Ireland. No rest for the wicked!’
Darcy smiled. ‘Emily Montgomery, you are the least wicked person I’ve ever met. And I mean that as a total compliment.’
‘Ha, thanks, Darcy.’
‘See you on the press tour?’
‘See you there.’
In the car on the way back to the house for the last time, I had the thought again: if I’d known that was the only take, I would have made it last longer.