18. Eighteen #2
“Surprisingly well.” I got comfortable on the bench.
I was close enough to touch him, but I didn’t lean in to get too close.
There was a sweat factor to consider — it was a humid night — but I was also afraid that if I climbed onto his lap, I would never find the strength to climb off.
He made me want to throw off all of my inhibitions, which was something nobody had ever done for me.
“I can’t say I’m not surprised that they hooked up,” Huxley admitted. “Hayley strikes me as the staid sort and your sister …” He trailed off.
“You haven’t even seen Lucy since she moved here,” I reminded him.
“No, but I can picture her.” He frowned. “My shin aches whenever I think about her, which isn’t often, thankfully.”
I smirked. “You’re still not over the Kit Kat bar?”
“That was my Kit Kat bar. She lied and said it was hers, but it was always mine.”
“There, there.” I patted his thigh. “The trauma is real, huh?”
“You have no idea.” He was adamant as he linked his fingers with mine. “I’ve had nightmares about your sister.”
“Did you ever dream about me?” I had no idea the question was going to pop out until it was too late to haul it back into my mouth.
“Actually, yes.” His lips curved into a small smile.
“Right after the fight between our mothers, I had a dream that you found me at the hotel we were staying at. We went from Austin to Las Vegas and stayed at the Bellagio. My mother told me I could order anything I wanted from room service, and I thought that was the best thing that had ever happened to me. I still didn’t realize the ramifications of what had happened. ”
“I was confused when it first happened, too,” I admitted. “I assumed that they would make up after a few weeks. I didn’t realize …” I trailed off and thought of Mick. We still hadn’t talked about the fallout from that situation, and I didn’t want to do it tonight.
“I know,” he said, letting me off the hook. “I thought they would make up, too. I really did. When we were in Vegas, though, it was like being in a different world. We stayed there for two weeks.”
“We went to Los Angeles,” I said. “We stayed in a big hotel, too. Mom was never around during that time, and I still don’t know exactly what she was doing. Lucy still had her nanny, so I was left to walk around on my own. There was nobody to talk to, though.”
He nodded in understanding. “On about the third night, I thought I was waking from a dream and that you were in my bedroom. You said you were afraid and asked if you could sleep with me. I said yes.”
I made a face. “I never would have done that. Are you kidding me? I would have freaked out that you would find me too bony or gross.”
“We were in college by then,” he reminded me. “You’d started to fill out.”
“You didn’t notice that.”
“Oh, I noticed.” His smile was rueful. “Hence the dream. It freaked me out, but I didn’t allow myself to think on it too long because …
well, just because.” He looked momentarily tortured.
“We were adults then, Wylie, but I still felt like a kid. That stretch between high school and actual adulthood is confusing.”
“Yeah.” I understood where he was coming from. “I get it. Just for the record, though, I never would have climbed into a bed with you. I mean, you were way out of my league. You were the most beautiful swan in the world, and I was the ugly duckling.”
“Stop,” he complained. “You were always beautiful, Wylie. I was just too blind to see it because … well, because of a lot of things.”
“Because we were treated kind of like siblings for a few years?” I guessed.
“I don’t like the word ‘siblings’ in this instance,” he countered, making a face. “We were more like cousins … by marriage.”
I pressed my lips together, but there was no stopping the laughter that bubbled up. “You’re funny.”
He turned to look at me. There wasn’t a lot of light in the park, but the streetlight on the corner gave him a romantic look in the slight breeze. “You’re funny, too. You’re also beautiful, smart, and insanely talented.”
My heart threatened to hammer right out of my chest. “I’m not —”
“Stop.” He pressed his finger to my lips. “I know you can’t help yourself, but you are beautiful, Wylie. You’re all the things I just said and more. One of these days, you’re going to realize I’m telling the truth. Until then, I would appreciate it if you didn’t argue with me.”
I considered it, what he was actually saying, and blew out a sigh as I nudged his finger away.
“Being Aggie Quincy’s daughter wasn’t easy.
She was considered the hottest science fiction author in the world.
I heard it everywhere I went. Most of the time, the thing I heard after that was ‘do you look like your father’. ”
He scowled. “You look exactly like your mother. Who said that?”
“I was a gawky teen, Huxley,” I insisted. “Don’t bother denying it. I’m not an idiot.”
“We’re all gawky at some point in our lives. Mine just hit when I was 13. Yours came later. You’re not gawky now.”
“You haven’t seen me try to rollerblade.”
He chuckled, then shook his head. “We’ll work on it.” He gripped my hand tightly. “I don’t want to say goodnight, but I should probably get you home before it gets too late.”
“Yeah.” I looked in the direction of my apartment building. It was only two blocks away. “You probably should.”
“Okay.” He made a theatrical groaning sound as he stood.
I smiled at him, and every emotion I’d ever felt threatened to explode out of me. In that moment, I recognized what I wanted. I knew what I’d always wanted. “I’m ready.”
He took a moment to absorb the words and then gave me a quizzical look. “You’re ready for what?”
“All of it. The sex,” I added, internally cringing. I had not just referred to it as “the sex,” had I? Of course I had. I barreled forward anyway. “I want it all.”
“You do?” He looked around, as if searching for a camera to reveal some elaborate prank on him. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life.”
He moved forward with a purpose, his hands cupping my cheeks. His breath was hot on my face a split-second before his lips touched mine.
Fireworks went off behind my eyes … and points well south of there. I lost my sense of direction and smell. All I was aware of was his mouth on mine.
I have no idea how long we kissed. It could have been minutes, or it could have been hours. When he finally pulled back, his hair was a mess from me running my fingers through it, and his eyes were a little wild.
“I want you to be absolutely certain,” he rasped. “You can still change your mind.”
“I don’t want to change my mind.” I’d never meant anything more.
“Say you want ‘the sex’ again,” he teased, affection brimming in his eyes.
I made a face. “I want ‘the sex,’ but I’m not saying that again.”
“That’s okay. Twice was enough.” He took my hand and pulled me toward my building.
I knew where we were going and what we were careening toward. For once in my life, I was calm.
This was where we’d always been heading. How could I have missed that?