26. Twenty-Six
TWENTY-SIX
We had a plan. I wasn’t looking forward to executing it.
My mother had been surprisingly easy. Once she told me the story of how she and Mick really got together, however, I wasn’t certain how I felt about Eleanor.
Sure, my mother wasn’t innocent in this. There was a level of betrayal there that couldn’t just be explained away. The thing was, Eleanor was part of that betrayal, too.
Huxley had needed some time to digest the story. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Mick — I could tell that wasn’t the problem — but she was still his mother. So, for the first time since the first time, we spent the night apart. It made me sad, but he needed the space, so I gave it to him.
I went out to dinner with Mick, Mom, and Lucy, but it wasn’t all that pleasant. I grilled Mick mercilessly on Huxley’s reaction until he finally told me that Huxley would tell me how he felt about things when he was ready.
I felt guilty after that and skipped dessert to punish myself, which had Mom rolling her eyes. Lucy and I walked Mom and Mick to their hotel. Lucy had a lot to think about, too. It was an opportunity she likely wouldn’t get again, so she wanted to think on it, which was a good sign in my book.
“Let’s have some ice cream on the riverwalk,” Mom suggested, rather than say goodbye to us at the hotel’s main door. “I saw an ice cream place not too far from the Starbucks.”
“It’s good,” I said. “Huxley and I had ice cream there once.”
“Oh, yeah?” Mom arched an eyebrow, clearly amused. “Was it a date?”
“Actually, no.” I frowned as I thought back to that night. “One of the readers at the event we were at was kind of … weird. He kept offering to walk me home even though I said no. Huxley stepped in and said he was walking me home, even though we’d argued earlier in the evening.”
“They argued a lot at the start,” Lucy offered. “That’s why I came to back her up. I didn’t want him to be mean to her.”
Mom gave Lucy a “don’t even go there” look. “Yes, that’s why you moved in with your sister,” she said dryly, shaking her head before turning back to me. “So, you weren’t together, and he insisted on walking you home?”
“It was a safety thing,” I assured her. “We weren’t even looking at each other that way back then.”
“Uh-huh.” Mom’s lips swished. “You two always looked at each other that way, for the record, so I’m not falling for that.”
“Oh, give me a break.” I couldn’t even believe she was going there. “He never looked at me as anything other than a geek before we met up this time. Don’t make it into something it wasn’t.”
“I’m not making it into something it wasn’t,” she replied firmly. “You two had crushes on each other. You admitted yours. Huxley had more trouble with his.”
“Because I was a geek.” Immediately, I thought better of what I’d said. It wasn’t the words that bothered me but the way I’d said them. “There’s nothing wrong with being a geek, though.”
“There’s not,” Mom agreed.
“I’m not a geek,” Lucy volunteered, but nobody paid any attention to her.
“Huxley likes that I’m a geek,” I explained. “He even bought me a Star Trek shirt for our first date. He wore one too. It was funny and talked about Kirk and his phaser.” I laughed at the memory.
“It sounds as if you guys have been having a good time,” Mom mused as we arrived at the ice cream shop. “You’ve been having safe sex, right?”
My cheeks burned red hot, and I had to look away from her. “Mom.” I was scandalized.
She, of course, thought it was funny. “I’m looking forward to being a grandmother. You and Huxley are going to have beautiful children. You shouldn’t rush into it too fast, though.”
I pressed my lips together and focused on my ice cream choices. I couldn’t believe she’d gone there. I was in my 30s, for crying out loud. I didn’t need the sex talk now.
“That’s what’s great about being a lesbian,” Lucy volunteered. “You don’t have to worry about accidental pregnancy.”
“Yes, you shouldn’t be having kids anytime soon,” Mom said to Lucy. “You should get your act together first. Your sister already has her act together, so we can talk about kids.”
Lucy scowled. “Way to make me feel bad, Mom.”
“You’re welcome, dear.” She absently patted Lucy’s arm and kept her focus on me. “You and Huxley will be great parents. I can already tell that he’s grown into a wonderful man.”
Briefly, I closed my eyes. “I’m getting vanilla with caramel sauce,” I said because I couldn’t think of anything else to say.
“Sounds good.” Mom’s grin only got wider. “I think I’ll get that too.”
AS SOON AS I GOT MY ICE cream, I made my escape and plopped down on one of the benches next to the river so I could look for dolphins. When somebody moved in beside me to sit, I was expecting Mom. It was Mick, though.
He had two scoops of chocolate ice cream on a cone and a mischievous smile on his face.
“Are you going to start in on me now?” I asked.
He shook his head. “No, I am not. As adorable as I find you and Huxley — and I do find you cute as cuddly kittens — you guys deserve space to figure out things for yourself.”
“Really?” I didn’t allow myself to feel too much hope. “That’s nice of you. Mom isn’t as nice as you.”
“Your mother is excited … and nervous. You need to give her some grace.”
I shoved a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth and thought about it, waiting until I’d swallowed to speak again. “How come you guys never told us the whole story? I mean … I remember you being around when I was a kid. I just always assumed you were friends.”
“That’s what we wanted you to think. We were trying to figure stuff out. Then Michael came back.” He paused a beat. “Do you remember when he came back?”
“Yeah.” I frowned at the memory. “I remember. Mom was upset. I had trouble figuring out why. I thought she would be happy Michael was back, but she wasn’t.”
“You were too young to understand the intricacies of that entire thing,” he said.
“And, listen, I’m not proud of how I handled things.
” He was earnest as he regarded me. “I shouldn’t have dated Eleanor in the first place.
I was just so lost, and I wanted your mother to be happy, so I didn’t put up a fight when Michael returned. I should have.”
“It’s okay,” I assured him. “I get why you did what you did … and even why Mom did what she did. She was trying to keep Lucy’s family intact.”
“She wanted to give you something too.”
“Michael was never anything to me, though.” I shot him a rueful smile. “He acted as if I was an inconvenience, and I’m sure from where he was standing, I was.”
“You were never an inconvenience to me, kid.” Mick slung his arm around my shoulders. “I always loved your mother. That wasn’t fair to Eleanor. I should have ended the marriage right away. Yes, it would have crushed Eleanor at the time, but things played out so much worse.”
“I don’t understand why she tried to keep you in a marriage you didn’t want to be in,” I admitted. “She’s been married a boatload of times. She never wants to hold onto anybody for the long haul.”
I turned to face him. “Don’t take this personally, but … why you? Why were you the one that she wanted to stay with? You’re a great guy — don’t get me wrong — but it’s so weird that you’re the one she went mental for.”
“I’ve given this a lot of thought over the years,” he admitted, giving his ice cream cone another lick before continuing.
“I don’t think she loved me. I think she wanted to love me.
Then, given the way things played out with your mother, she felt she had to pretend to keep loving me, or it would have all been for nothing. ”
“But that’s how it turned out,” I persisted. “It was all for nothing because you and Mom still ended up together.”
“But we lost years together, and that still makes me sad when I think about it. I missed the bulk of your childhood. You were an adult before I came back into your life.”
“I turned out okay. At least I think I did.”
“You turned out to be an amazing person.” He squeezed my shoulder. “You turned out to be the best person in the world, actually.”
“Even better than my mom?”
He laughed. “There’s no way I’ll ever answer that question. And, you’re right, nobody is better than your mom. She’s my favorite person in the world.”
That was the response I wanted to hear, so I leaned my head against his shoulder and looked out at the beautiful expanse of water. The sun was halfway through its descent, and the sky was lighting up with a rich array of oranges and reds.
“Do you think Huxley is going to be okay?” I asked quietly, giving voice to my current fear.
“I think Huxley is going to be okay,” he confirmed.
“My greatest regret in the world is leaving him. Yeah, he was an adult at the time. I loved him, though. He was struggling because of Eleanor — she put too much pressure on that kid — and I’m sure she was not pleasant to be around once I was gone. ”
“He doesn’t talk about that time much,” I admitted. “I know he missed you when you were gone, though.”
“You two are a nice balance. You’re fun when he needs to have fun, and he’s more than happy to do the worrying for everybody, which you need sometimes because you often have your head in the clouds.”
It almost sounded like an insult, but I knew he hadn’t meant it that way. “I just don’t want to lose him.”
He pulled back far enough to see into my eyes. “What makes you think you’re going to lose him?”
“What if Eleanor makes him choose between her and me?”
There was no hesitation before Mick answered. “He’ll choose you.”
“She’s his mother.”
“Yes, and he’s a man who knows what he wants. I have no doubt that’s you.”
“Did he tell you that?”
“He told me a lot of things over lunch.” Mick smiled. “He told me about the shirts on your first date, and how when you were mad, you swore at him in Klingon.” He checked the spot behind us before continuing. “Have you told him about the app?”
I shook my head. “No, and Lucy knows I made money from something else and that I won’t tell her the details. She hasn’t let up trying to get the information either.”