Chapter 22
Emersyn
I know what I did. But he deserved it.
As his eyes flicker open at the gunshot right behind his head, I throw the weapon to the floor, metal skidding against concrete the only sound between us.
His eyes narrow. “You missed.”
“No, I didn’t,” I answer him. “I did exactly what I should have. You’re not dying.” I fist his collar with newfound anger, and then lean down, brushing my nose to his. “You’re getting fucking help. ”
“The hell I am,” He growls back at me. “I want peace, Emersyn.”
I shake my head, swinging my leg off him and standing to my feet. “Then you’ll have to kill me, Turner, but even then, I’ll fucking haunt you.”
Turner glares at me. “I thought you understood me, but clearly you don’t.” He rises, towering over me. “You think that I’ll just magically be fixed, huh?” His hand shoots out, wrapping around my arm and dragging me toward him.
I wrap my hands around his, trying to pry his fingers from around me. “I don’t think that. I just want you to stay?—”
“You’re fucking selfish ,” he roars at me, dropping his hand. Turner spins around and in one swift kick sends the chair flying across the barn as I stumble and fall hard onto the concrete. I swallow the pain shooting up my spine as I watch him sweep up the pistol from the floor, pointing it at me.
“Go ahead,” I snap at him as he stalks toward me. “Kill me, and then you can reevaluate who’s the fucking selfish one in the room, but you know,” I pause, ignoring the fear thrumming through my body. “Your brother didn’t want you to die. He didn’t turn you in, because he believed you could get better.”
“Yeah, jokes on him,” he scoffs. “I’m too far gone.”
Defeat riddles my chest, and my shoulders drop. “Nothing I can say is going to change your mind, so go ahead.” I gaze down at my hands, trembling as I wrap them around me, mentally readying myself for my end. “Just make sure you find a way to let my fucking family know. I have people who will miss me.”
Turner says nothing in response, looming over me like the Grim Reaper, the gun still hovering near my head. I squeeze my eyes shut. Unlike me, I know Turner will make good on his threat. I never could’ve killed him. I don’t kill the people I love like he does. And while the realization of having feelings for him is shocking, it’s not nearly as shocking as the way I’m okay with those feelings.
“It was always going to end like this,” I say under my breath, thinking back through it all..
“What?” Turner demands, his voice thick. “What did you say?”
I tip my head back, meeting his red-eyed gaze with my own equally heartbroken one. “It was always going to end like this. You said it from the very beginning. There was never going to be an alternate ending like I let myself believe. Even till the very end, when I knew it all, I believed you could change, and I think that’s the biggest mistake I made here.” My chest tightens with pain, and I choke back a fresh sob.
Turner drops to his knees in front of me, resting against his heels. He ejects the magazine and then the bullet from the chamber. “Better?” He tosses it across the floor again. “I don’t have it in me, Em. I can’t kill you when I’m still here. I’d only ever hurt you if… If I’m not— and that’s what scares me.”
I reach for him, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses my cheek, threading his arm around my waist. His lips graze across my skin, and as I’m pressed against him, I can feel his heartbeat, alive and well—even if his mind isn’t.
Maybe I am being selfish. I suck in a sharp breath as I lean away, studying his face. “I’m sorry. I want what’s best for you.”
“Em,” he says, his voice soft as he thumbs away the tears from my cheeks. “We can figure it out, but this…” Turner’s gaze jumps to the gun on the floor. “This isn’t the way to do it. I’m too tired of spilling blood, and while I think I belong in the ground, you don’t—and I’ll respect that.”
“That’s the only reason?”
He chuckles, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. “I mean, right now, that’s what I’ve got.”
I mirror it batting away fresh tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything for Christmas. I don’t have skills like this.” I brush my finger over the necklace. “It’s incredible.”
“This was by far, the best Christmas I’ve had in years.” He runs his hand along my outer thigh. “You gave me more than you realize.” I nod, throwing myself into him again and holding on tight. “I’ll be good,” Turner murmurs into my hair. “I can be good for you. It’ll just take me some time to figure it out.”
“I know,” I say, clinging to him. I was just minutes away from losing him forever, and the reality of that sinks in with every passing moment. “It’ll be okay. We’ll figure it out.”
Turner kisses the top of my head, and then lifts me up, wrapping his arms around my ass. “I’m tired of being in here.”
He carries me out, breathing in deeply as we reach the fresh air. “I had no idea you had it in you to kick in a door.”
I laugh. “Me either, but desperate times call for desperate measures, I guess.”
Shaking his head, he steps up onto the back porch, and then heads inside of the cabin. He shuts the door behind Gunner, and then heads straight for the bedroom. He shuts the dog out, and then drops me down on the bed.
He climbs onto it beside me, and then cups my cheek in his hand. “You’re the best unplanned gift I’ve ever gotten.” Turner leans down and presses his lips to mine, and I nip at his lower lip. Groaning, he glides his hand to the bottom of my sweater, tugging it up over my head.
I unsnap my bra and then kick off my shoes as he tugs at my leggings. I then go for his shirt, pulling it off him. We finish methodically undressing each other, and I soak it in. I have no freaking idea what we’re going to do when this holiday is over—when real life comes back.
When everyone finds out that Adam is gone. It’s going to be a whirlwind of scrutiny and coverups, but if it makes me a bad person to already know I’ll cover for him, then so be it. He uses his knee to part my legs, situating himself between them.
I nip at his bottom lip, drawing out a groan from deep in his chest. “I don’t care if you’re dangerous. I still want you.”
“You’re a brave woman,” he counters, grabbing my chin and running his thumb along my mouth. He presses against my lips, and I suck it into the warmth of my mouth. Turner watches me with a dark expression, tinged with lust and desire. The tip of his cock brushes my entrance, and I rock my hips toward him, desperate to have him again.
I don’t care if he’s fucking insane.
I’m pretty sure I am, too.
“Fuck, Em,” he rasps as he presses himself into my pussy, already soaked and ready for him. “You always feel so good.” His breaths deepen as he fills me the rest of the way, his hooded eyes hazy as they hold mine.
He pulls his thumb from my mouth, and I drop back on the bed, gazing up at him. His features are softer as he thrusts in and out of me, dropping his head to kiss my lips. And even then, his kiss is more careful and slower, as if he’s purposefully taking his time with me.
I thread my fingers through his dark locks, as his mouth trails down my jaw, neck, and then dips lower to my chest. I grind against him, riding the high as arousal pumps through my body, drawing me toward the edge. My nails dig into his scalp as I arch my back.
“ Turner, ” I cry out his name as I crash around him, the walls of my pussy pulsing with pleasure as he sucks in my breast, circling my nipple with his tongue. I cling to him as he thrusts through my climax, drawing it out as he picks up his pace.
“I love it when you come,” he pants into my chest, palming and kissing me with an added air of hunger now. He pumps into me over and over, and I watch him, the god of a man, losing his control inside of me.
It’s almost spiritual, the way he moves and fucks me. He’s not thinking about his past or future—and he’s not fighting urges for violence. He’s just himself, and as he explodes inside of me, filling me with his cum, he groans out my name.
“Emersyn,” he rumbles, the deep tenor in his voice shaking the walls of my chest cavity. He locks eyes with me before he collapses, pulling out and resting his head against my upper abdomen.
I stroke his hair as we lay there, lost in the moment and still disconnected from reality. “Turner,” I say, running my fingers through his hair once more. “I don’t want to leave.”
His breaths slow but he doesn’t look up at me. “Then don’t.”
“People will wonder where I am, and not to mention, there’s also the issue of my ex-boyfriend…”
He stiffens at that, pushing himself up off the bed. “We don’t have to make it complicated. You ended up here. He ended up God knows where, out searching for you—or whatever.”
“And what about my phone?”
Turner’s brow furrows. “What about it?”
“I don’t have one anymore, and my guess is that people will want to know why.” The thought starts to give me anxiety, bursting through the illusion that I could somehow stay quietly with Turner for the rest of my life.
“Hey,” Turner tips my chin toward him. “It’s all okay. I’ll figure it out. It’s easy to say you lost your phone in the blizzard.”
“Adam’s jeep is in your barn,” I reason, as Turner shifts up the bed and wraps his arms around me. “What are we supposed to do about that?”
“I’ve gotten rid of vehicles before.” His voice is quiet. “I’ll put it in the river not far from here. I’ll take care of that. You don’t have to worry about it, Em. I’ve got it.”
“You buried your brother under a tree that could easily be spotted if the cops came and searched your place.” I turn to him, starting to feel a sense of worry. “What would happen?”
“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Maybe I’d go to prison. Maybe that wouldn’t be the end of the world. I don’t care. I did what I did.” The sincerity in his voice calms my mind, but only for a split second. Gunner lets out a bark, and Turner’s entire expression grows stone cold.
“What is it?” I ask him as he lunges off the bed, grabbing his clothes.
Just as he opens his mouth to answer me, I hear it.
Sirens.