Chapter 23
Turner
I knew this would happen eventually. I swallow the apprehension as I finish dressing and head for the front door of the cabin. I opened the gate this morning, thinking that Emersyn and Gunner would be leaving, and I’d be left to decompose in the barn. Instead, I’m now trudging out into the afternoon to face cops.
Merry Christmas to me.
“Thomas Martin?” the officer calls out as he climbs out of his SUV, parked behind Em’s dug out truck.
“Turner,” I correct him, coming down the steps to greet the officer. He’s around my age, and honestly, is a rather puny guy with gray hair and mustache. I could take him, but that would be an even worse idea than letting myself live. “Thomas is my brother.”
“Ah, right. I forgot you moved in all those years ago. Never really see much of you.” He watches my reaction with icy blue eyes, already full of suspicion.
“Yeah, I don’t get out much,” I answer him flatly. “What can I do for you?”
He points to the truck. “For starters, you can tell me why this truck is in your driveway.”
I shrug. “Yeah, it’s Emersyn’s. She accidentally pulled in here at the start of the blizzard. Got stuck. I dug her out this morning when the roads were finally cleared.”
“And where is she?” He lightens a little, but not much. “She hasn’t been in contact with any of her family. They’ve been worried.”
“She’s inside,” I answer. “She lost her phone when she was walking up here. I don’t have a phone, but I’m sure you know that.”
“That’s what I’ve heard,” he grunts, just as the door of the cabin opens, and out walks Emersyn, dressed and wrapped up in her parka. I glance back at her, a slight smile on her face as she joins us.
“You must be Miss Lewis,” the officer says to her.
“I am…” Her voice trails off, and if she’s nervous, I can’t tell. “My GPS sent me the wrong way and then I ended up here.”
“I see that. Have you by chance spoken with Adam Shatz since your arrival here?” His eyes bore into hers, and my stomach knots up at the scrutiny.
She hesitates, like she’s thinking. “Well, I mean, yes and no. I was on the phone with him when I pulled in the driveway. I thought it was their family cabin, but I think I got really turned around. I dropped my phone in the snow when I was trying to make it to the cabin from here.” She pauses again, looking downtrodden. “I haven’t spoken to him since. I was planning on trying to either find the cabin or maybe drive to town for a new cell phone today. I’m not a great driver in snow,” she adds, her cheeks flushing.
Fuck, she is really playing this well.
He nods. “I see. Well, I hate to break it to you, ma’am, but your ex-boyfriend is missing, too. He apparently called family, stating that he was going to look for you when the snow stopped —and that the two of you had gotten into a fight, breaking up on the way. He stated you turned into the wrong driveway.”
Her face falls, and she actually looks heartbroken, shocked, and taken aback. “Yeah, to my surprise, he wasn’t so serious about us. I broke up with him, but I don’t understand? How can he be missing?”
“Cameras at his place show that he left his residence as soon as the snow stopped from the first storm. He never returned. Though, I have to admit, I’m still trying to figure out how you ended up here. The Shatz cabin is nearly twelve miles to the east of here.”
“Wait, what?” She shakes her head. “My GPS was taking me down this road.”
He nods. “This address actually only differs by one road number, so it’s not all that surprising you ended up way out here.”
She nods. “I’m just lucky I ended up here instead of freezing to death.” She doesn’t look at me as she says the words, but they seem so ironic, given all the hell I’ve put her through—and now, she’s so graceful and earnest with her answers.
Maybe I’m not the only psychopath in this relationship.
“Well, I’m glad I thought to head this way,” the officer continues. “I need to radio this in. Your family will be relieved to find you in good health.” As he goes to step away, Em reaches out, touching his shoulder.
“But please tell me search and rescue is looking for Adam, right? Like he can drive in this weather, but… But how long has he been missing? I don’t?—”
“Ma’am,” he gives her a pained expression. “No matter how well someone is accustomed to this weather, blizzard conditions are dangerous. Best case scenario at this point, he’s going to show up after digging himself out, but…” He lets out a sigh. “Yes, we have recovery teams out searching now.”
“Recovery?” she echoes him, her voice breaking. “I thought you said he might show back up.”
“Just trying to be hopeful,” he says, giving Em a sympathetic expression. “It’s a slim chance, but it’s the best-case scenario at this point.” The officer then eyes me. “I’m just glad I have some good news to report. Your family is already on a flight here.”
Oh shit. Her family is coming? I can’t handle that. My heart jumps to my throat, the bubble I was living in up until that point bursting. I can’t let her stay here with me. She has to go home. I’ll never make the transition right now.
Em continues to chat with the officer, bullshitting him with sociopathic lies about her time here, and her worries for Adam. I stand outside in the cold, watching it unfold in surreal time with my arms folded across my chest. I want to be the guy for Em—but I have no idea how I can be that for her.
While they chat, I start to back away, and then slip back inside into the cabin. I quickly make my way through house and up the stairs, not stopping until I make it to my lookout room. I ignore the rifle leaned in the corner and go for the desk, pulling open the bottom left drawer. There sits a cell phone, and I pull it out along with its charger. I plug it in to charge, shoving it behind the desk, and then retreat, heading back outside with Gunner.
“Sorry, had to grab the dog,” I say, clearing my throat when they both look at me. Gunner trots alongside of me, wagging his tail and then stopping to piss, playing the part exactly as he should.
“I’m sure Mr. Martin can give you the directions to the airport, if you’d like to meet your family,” the officer continues to Emersyn, his voice bright. “From there, you can make your plan to either remain in the area or return home. I’ll close the report. I highly suggest getting a phone, though.”
“Thank you,” she says with a soft smile, tears brimming her eyes. “I’ll grab one as soon as I can.”
I frown at the sight of her, still trying to adjust to this Em. I’m fucking flattered that she’s not outing me for everything I’ve done, but I’m also unnerved by the ease in the way she’s putting on a show.
The officer bids goodbye to the two of us, and then climbs into his SUV, backing out of the driveway. Em lets out a heavy sigh, and then turns to me.
“You’re coming with me, right?”
I raise my brows. “What?”
“To get a phone?”
“No, Em, I’m not. I’m not going with you anywhere.” I spin on my heels and head back for the cabin. Now that the bubble has burst, and reality is crashing down around me, I know the answer to everything.
“Turner?” Em chases after me. “I’ll come right back. I just need a phone to call my family and let them know I’m okay. I’m going to have to deal with Adam going missing…”
“I know,” I say, holding the door open for her. “But even though I told you I’d work on things—I’d be good for you—that doesn’t mean I can just go out gallivanting like a normal fucking person. I’m not fixed, Em.”
Her lips part, brows furrowing. “I know that. I’m sorry. I’ll go and take care of everything, and then I’ll come back. Just let me get everything sorted… I’ll stay with you. I’ll get you a phone, too.”
I close my eyes, turning to her. “I have a phone. I have access to the world. I choose not to use it.”
Her jaw drops. “You told me you didn’t.”
“I lied.”
She holds my gaze, hurt penetrating every inch of her face. “Okay. Well, it wouldn’t have had service anyway.” She slips past me, heading to the bedroom. As soon as she enters, she starts sifting through her bag, digging out her purse and wallet. “I’m going to make some coffee before I go.” Em slings her purse across her body and then heads to the kitchen, leaving me there in the bedroom.
I can’t handle this. I’ll snap. I’ll hurt someone. I’ll hurt her in one way or another. The defeat hangs heavy on my shoulders. I know I told her I would be good, and maybe I can be good in a secure, controlled environment right now—but handling a hunt for a dead guy in my backyard? Meeting her family and trying to be normal? I’ll never fucking make it. I’m not ready for that. I don’t know how long it would take for me to be ready…
Or if I’d ever be ready.
I swallow the lump in my throat as I exit the room, the scent of coffee hitting me in the face. No matter how much I want Em, no matter how hard I promise to change, I can’t be there for her.
And that’s the ultimate sin.