Easter
LAINEY
I’m going to hell.
I’m pretty sure getting turned on during service is way up there on the sin scale. No amount of prayers is going to save me. Not with Ben pressed against me in the overcrowded pew.
I knew Mike was joining us for church and at my sister’s house afterward for lunch, but I wasn’t expecting Ben. My brain and body have been going haywire from the moment I saw him. Now with every brush of his body against mine, my panties are getting wetter. My nipples are already so hard they actually hurt.
I glance over, and Ben meets my gaze. His pupils have taken over those gorgeous blue irises, and his breathing is way too erratic for just sitting in church. His hot gaze dips to my breasts, and a tiny groan escapes him before he faces forward again, his hands balling into fists. The fact he’s fighting to keep in control only makes me hotter— wetter . I cross my legs to give my pussy some relief.
“Jesus.” He picks up a hymnal and places it on his lap.
Oh, we are so going to hell.
Somehow, we get through the rest of the service without bursting into flames. As soon as we stand, Ben jumps into the aisle and says he’ll meet us outside. Thankfully, the next hour is busy with getting back to Harper’s and helping set out food. When I stop, I catch him flirting with Mrs. Abbott, Harper’s sweet elderly neighbor, from across the living room. And she’s eating up every bit of it. I can’t help but smile. This is probably the happiest I’ve ever seen Mrs. Abbott. His charm is so effortless, making her feel young and carefree. It’s hard not to admire that part of him right now.
She laughs at something he says then gives him a playful pat on the arm before walking away with flushed cheeks. His smile lingers—until our gazes collide. It’s suddenly as if we’re back in that pew, our bodies pressed against each other. Everything stills. Heats. And I’m imagining straddling him and begging him to make me see heaven.
Jesus. Why can’t I seem to remember he’s all sorts of wrong for me? One text, one look, and I lose all reason.
"Why is Ben eye fucking you from across the room?"
I startle and look to Harper. "What? No, he isn't."
My sister raises one perfect eyebrow. I've always envied her ability to do the evil one eyebrow raise while also glad I couldn't do it since it's so very Harper. "Yes, he was. And you were taking every bit of it, too."
My face feels like it's on fire which is probably a big red sign telling Harper I'm lying, but I roll my eyes and head toward the kitchen. "You're ridiculous."
Unfortunately, I don't escape her that easily, as she follows right on my heels. "It was like a porn scene out there. It's , Lainey."
"Oh my God, Harp, you're being a little dramatic." I stuff a deviled egg in my mouth and look around for something to distract me from this conversation.
Harper's gaze narrows as she cocks her hip against the counter. She hates it when I call her dramatic, and I can tell she's doing her best to not let it get to her. "Look, I get it. He's hot. Really hot. Which you totally forgot to mention, by the way. But you can't go there." She glances back into the living room. “I’ve never seen a guy like this with Mom. She’s so happy.” Her voice is almost dreamy.
I follow her stare where Mom and Mike are standing, his arm around her waist as he watches her tell a story with the most adoring expression on his face. No man has ever looked at her that way.
Harper’s right. Not that I didn’t already know that. Still…it makes me want to throw something—preferably at her.
Harper looks back at me. “Seriously, don’t fuck this up for her.”
“Jeez, thanks.” I pop another egg in my mouth before I decide to smoosh it all over her silk blouse.
“You know what I mean.”
I swallow and face Harper, now pissed. “No, I don’t, actually. What do you mean? Go ahead, spell it out.”
“For one, you said he was a fuckboy. Do you really want to get involved with another guy like that?”
“Harp—”
She holds out her hand. “Yeah, yeah, he’s a nice guy, but you thought Isaac was nice too. Come on, you don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to guys. Your relationships tend to pan out as well as your jobs. He’s Mike’s son, Lainey, you need to stay the hell away before this blows up in your face. You can’t fuck this up for Mom. Again.”
Her words spear me right in the chest. I don’t even know where to start with her tirade. She’s acting like I purposely set out to sabotage my dates. And Mom’s. I don’t get why she keeps reminding me about something I did when I was sixteen. Like I’ve repeated that behavior over and over. It was a four-month period in my life, and she benefited from my intervention just as much as I did.
“What the hell, Harp? I thought it was not Throw Lainey’s Mistakes in her Face Day ?” I hate that my voice shakes with hurt instead of the anger I really want to throw at her. “You really need to stop bringing up what I did in high school like I’m some villain trying to make Mom’s life miserable. I was a fucking kid needing my mom to step up as a parent.”
A tense silence fills the room as Harper stares at me openmouthed. Suddenly, tears flood her eyes before she covers her face with her hands and slumps over. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry,” she says in a muffled voice. She takes a few broken breaths before dropping her hands, tears slipping down her cheeks. “That was really horrible of me.”
“Yeah, it was.” I wrap my arms around my middle, my own tears threatening.
She comes over and pulls me into a tight hug. I don’t move, still feeling to raw to hug her back. “I don’t know what came over me. I guess…she’s been doing so well, and I don’t want to see her revert back to her old self if things go south. I can’t handle it again, Lainey.”
My anger immediately dissolves, and I relax in her arms and hug her back. I don’t tell her it’s okay, because it’s not. But I get it. Our mom has handled relationships so much better since her dating break, but no one has caught her attention like this. If it doesn’t work out, the fallout could be momentous.
“Maybe it’s Harper’s Childhood Trauma Day ,” I say to lighten the mood.
She barks out a laugh and pulls back to meet my gaze. “You might be right.” She wipes away her tears and shakes her head at herself. “Man, what a mess. Forgive me?”
“Always. Keep it up though, and I’m enrolling you in drama school. ”
Her body relaxes in relief. “Deal.” She takes my hands in hers. “I’m just so hopeful about this one. And I haven’t felt that way in a long time. I know you feel it too, Lain.”
“I do.”
Which is why I need to double-down on my resolve to stop this thing between me and Ben.
Putting our fight behind us, we move on to hiding eggs. Harper's party is not a simple family affair. She pretty much invites her whole neighborhood and to call it hectic is a massive understatement. Kids dressed in pastels run amok, high on sugar, squealing at an octave that usually has my ears ringing for forty-eight hours. As torturous as it is, there's nothing more entertaining than seeing dozens of sweet-looking cherubs go full-out Hunger Games for some candy-filled plastic eggs. And while Harper might drive me crazy, I love her and the amazing niece she's given me. The few hours of chaos are totally worth it.
The tricky part will be avoiding Ben for the rest of the afternoon.
Once the eggs are hidden in my sister’s giant backyard, all the adults gather as the children line up, armed with their gingham-lined baskets. Their expressions grow more and more fierce as they scan the lawn before them, plotting their route.
A whistle is blown, and they're off.
"Holy sh..."
I glance over my shoulder to see Ben standing behind me, his expression horror-stricken at the scene before him. So much for avoiding him. I dart a glance at Harper and see she’s preoccupied with the hunt.
Suddenly, he winces, so I turn back to see what I missed.
"Your niece just took out a boy twice her size. Like literally body-checked him. "
I look around until I locate Cassie and the carnage she left behind her as she picks up a blue egg. "That's my girl."
Ben chuckles. His chest brushes against my shoulder, and it takes all my willpower not to lean back into him.
"Man, this is brutal,” he says. “Cassie scares me a little bit now."
I laugh. "She is Harper's child. You've met my sister. She's super scary."
I feel his laughter more than hear it. "She is, but I like her. Chandler, too. Actually, your whole family is really great, Lainey."
The genuine tenderness in his voice melts my heart. I have a lot of love for my brother-in-law. He doesn't let Harper get too lost in her own head, he's her rock. He's so good for her that I can't even be annoyed that she found her perfect match so easily while Mom and I have struggled. Mike and Ben fit right in, too, like they should be family. I look over my shoulder at him again. "Thanks."
Our gazes lock, and suddenly, our sentimental moment turns scorching, and all I want to do is everything I just resolved myself not to. Lean into him. Wrap my arms around him. Kiss him. Climb him. Sink down on his—
I jerk my gaze away. Fuck! I need to get a grip.
His chest presses in on me as he leans closer, his head bending down toward my ear. "Never in my life did I think I’d have to fight so many boners on Sunday."
I choke back a laugh. "Yeah, well, keep fighting," I whisper back. "And stop eye-fucking me from across the room. Harper noticed."
He inches even closer, his mouth brushing the lobe of my ear. I feel his fingers brush the back of my thigh. "I'd rather be fucking you."
My whole body flushes as the image of him ripping my dress and burying his cock inside me flashes in my mind. It’s so vivid and tempting I have to suppress a moan. "Stop it!"
He laughs and drops his hand, the deep rumble of his voice against my body way more erotic than it should be. Thankfully, the hunt takes over our attention and gives us time to cool down. After the eggs are found, lunch is served then the kids settle (mostly) in the living room with a movie as the parents lounge outside with wine. I head into the kitchen to start cleaning up, letting Harper enjoy this moment with her friends. As I enter, I get yanked into the laundry room. Before I can process what's happened, Ben has me pressed up against the dryer.
"What the hell are you doing?" I whisper-hiss.
"Getting you alone. Your family is impossible to escape. Your sister talks a lot ." He brushes his mouth at my temple as he boxes me in.
"Because she’s probably trying to prevent you from hiding away in the laundry room with me. She’s banking on you being my future stepbrother."
"Lainey, it’s only been four months."
"I know, but she might not be wrong. Our parents are silly over each other, so we really shouldn't be in here together."
"Hmmm...probably not."
Yet, he doesn't move away. No, he leans closer.
I shake my head. “Does anyone ever tell you no?”
His blue eyes roam my face, lingering on my mouth. “Not often.”
One of his hands wraps around to my back, slowly moving up until it finds that unreachable spot between my shoulder blades. He adds pressure and holds my gaze, “You know how to tell me no.”
Yes, I do. And yet, I stay silent.
His hand slips from my back and makes its way to the hem of my dress. "This has been killing me all day. Do you even realize how sexy you look?"
"It's an dress. It's not supposed to be sexy."
His gaze soaks up my body. "It fits you like a fucking dream. You have no idea the fantasies that have been playing over and over in my mind. Are you wearing panties?" His fingers trace where my inner thighs and dress meet.
"Ben, you don't go commando on . I wore this to church this morning."
"I’m well aware. Every time you crossed and uncrossed your legs, I broke into a sweat." He nuzzles his nose over my cheek, letting his lips brush my ear. "I needed to be alone with you. I want to touch you." His fingers keep brushing my thighs causing little fires to ignite all through my body. I feel my panties grow wet. Again. "Fuck, I can smell you. So damn sweet…let me touch you, Lainey."
I grip the edge of the dryer to stop myself from jerking my hips toward him in invitation. "Ben, you can't finger me on ."
"I can make you feel alive. Isn't that what is all about? Being alive."
"I think that's playing fast and loose with the translation."
He chuckles. "I'm pretty sure there are lots of loose translations out there. What's one more?"
I can't help but laugh and wrap my arms around his neck. I press my forehead to his. "You're something else, you know that?"
"Yeah, but that's why you like me."
Suddenly the air around us seems to still—thicken. There's simply this pull toward him. I’m caught. Mesmerized. And powerless to fight against it.
"I do like you."
The admission feels…good .
I don’t know how it happens, but we're kissing. It isn't hurried but soft and achingly gentle. It feels like a promise. It feels powerful—like it could break my heart.
I need to pull away. Stop this before it becomes a wrong we can’t right. Instead, I dig my fingers into his hair, and our kiss goes from tame to feverish. We're pulling at each other as if we're trying to crawl inside one another. I grab his shirt and pull it up so I can splay my hands over his flat stomach. He lifts me onto the dryer, my dress bunches at my waist as I wrap my legs around him. He presses his cock against me, and I moan, shamelessly rubbing myself against him. Fuck, he feels so good. So wonderfully hard and thick. I want him like I've never wanted anyone in my life. God, I want him inside me.
He rips his mouth from mine and looks at me with a dazed heat. I don’t know if I said that out loud or if he’s thinking the same thing. His expression morphs into, do we dare?
The silence between us is deafening until voices come into the kitchen. We both freeze. I jump off the dryer, and we frantically straighten our clothes.
"Think we should take two bottles back out? There's still so many people." The voice is my mother's.
"I think we should take three," Mike says.
My mom laughs and there's some clinking sounds then my mom squeals and laughs. "What are you doing?"
"Dancing with you."
"There's no music."
"We make our own music. And maybe I just want an excuse to touch you."
I lock eyes with Ben. I really hope our parents aren't planning to jump into the laundry room for a quickie like their children. We edge closer to the door and squint to see between the slats. Our parents are slow dancing, then Mike twirls her and pulls her back in .
"Today has been a great day," Mom says. "I'm so glad you're here."
Mike stops their dancing. "I love you."
My hands fly to my mouth to stop my gasp. Ben looks equally shocked before his expression morphs into one of concern.
"What?" my mom says a little breathlessly.
"I love you. Today has been such a perfect day. Your daughters and granddaughter are amazing, and our families get along so well. It feels like coming home, Kathy."
I squint to see my mom still standing in his arms, a shocked expression on her face and maybe some tears in her eyes.
"It's okay if you're not ready to say it back. I just want to be with you. You're the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing before I go to bed. And I—”
"Let's live together." My mom's sudden outburst has Ben and me jerking in surprise. We look at each other, and I mouth what at him as he shakes his head in disbelief.
"Really?" Mike says.
My mom nods. "You're the first and last thoughts of my day, too. I love you, Mike. So much."
They kiss and I turn away quickly. Ben does, too. I can't believe this. They're moving in together? After four months?
"Okay, okay, we have to stop," Mom says breathlessly.
"No, we don't. There's a laundry room."
My eyes round in horror. So do Ben's. We look around for I don't know what...a place to hide? There is none because it's a freaking laundry room!
"You're terrible. How about we deliver this wine then I say I'm tired and we can get out of here?"
"That's definitely a better plan."
Ben and I both release a heavy breath. I hear more kissing sounds before they leave. Once they're gone, we're silent for several moments. Ben looks shell-shocked, and I can't tell if he's upset his dad moving in with my mom or not.
Ben finally meets my gaze. "He's happy. Really happy."
I nod.
He runs a hand over his face. "It's been a really long time since I've seen him like this. Since before my mom got sick."
I reach out and touch his arm. "Are you okay with it?"
He releases another deep breath. "I think so. I'd almost forgotten him this way." He gives me a small smile. "How are you feeling about your mom shacking up with my dad?"
"It's a bit of a surprise. My mom used to fall fast, but never lived with anyone. Well, there was one guy who stayed with us a couple of weeks, but turned out he just needed a place to crash until he convinced his ex to take him back.”
“Lainey, I can tell you with a hundred percent certainty that my dad didn’t say those words lightly. If he moves in with your mom, he’s serious about her.”
I nod. Mike is different. This really is our mom’s chance at happily ever after.
Ben sighs heavily. "Okay, I get what you’ve been saying." He looks at me, his expression somber. "Maybe what almost happened in here isn’t a good idea. I don't want to mess anything up for my dad."
This is exactly what I’ve wanted. For us to be on the same page. So, why does hearing him agree feel like I’m drowning with no hope of reaching the surface?
Maybe it hurts because it’s right.
I let myself get caught up in him two hours after resolving to stay away from him. I can’t keep making these bad and selfish decisions, or I’m going to wreck my family.
"I don't want to mess things up for my mom either,” I finally say, and our gazes meet. The heaviness between us is so thick it’s almost suffocating .
Damn. How can being right feel so wrong?
No. This is right. It has to be. Because this is the one thing I can’t be wrong about.
He blows out a breath. “Well, it’s a good thing we didn’t christen your sister’s dryer.”
I bark out a laugh. “Yeah, pretty sure that’s not the kind of christening you should do on .”
"I don't know. I imagine this room would have heard plenty of, Oh God!, Oh God yes! "
We stare at each other for a second before we start laughing. When we finally get ourselves under control, we smile, a soft sadness filling the air. It feels natural when we move into each other and hug. I burrow my face into his chest and inhale his scent as if it'll somehow stay with me when he steps away.
"Friends?" he asks.
I nod against his chest. "Friends." I ignore the pinch of pain in my heart and step out of his arms. "It's time to wash the dishes. Want to dry?"
"I think I can handle that.”