National Meet a Mate Week
BEN
"I feel like I've lost a month of my life instead of two weeks," Eli says, as he takes a sip of the Old Fashioned I made him. "I don't think I've been that sick in my life. Ever.”
"Yeah, I knew it was serious when you turned away Thai food."
I had dropped by with some food and Eli had taken one look at it and scrunched up his nose. Pretty sure he lived on canned chicken noodle soup for the past two weeks, though I learned Josie dropped off some homemade soup that he deemed worthy. It seems those two called a truce.
"If you want to buy some more for me, I'm game. My appetite is definitely back."
I snap my towel at him. "I just gave you a drink on the house. Don't push your luck."
Eli raises his glass. "Trust me, luck’s not on my side."
"What are you talking about?"
"I wanted to make up for bailing Memorial Day weekend, so I asked Lainey out, and we met for lunch today."
My stomach knots. "Oh, yeah?" I hope my voice sounds casual because that's the last thing I feel. I grab a glass to wash to keep me busy.
"Yeah, thought it would be a good idea to jump right in. I went straight up to her and kissed her."
"You what ?" The glass launches from my hand and clatters into the sink, shattering. “Shit.”
Eli raises his brows. "Thought I'd shoot my shot."
"And...” I prod, hoping his answer’s what I want to hear.
"She kneed me in the balls."
"No way!" The word comes out in a burst of laughter.
"It's not funny. It hurt like hell."
I'm still laughing. I can't help it. "What happened after she kneed you?"
"She apologized. Said it was a knee-jerk reaction."
" Knee-jerk is right." I'm laughing so hard I brace myself on the bar.
" Haha, puns are so funny ." Eli says in a mocking voice as he raises his middle finger. “You’re such a dickhead,”
"I'm sorry." I wipe the tears from my eyes as I try to control myself. "Then what?"
"We had lunch. Took the knee to the balls as a sign that I was officially friend-zoned." This time he takes a healthy sip.
I hope the relief I feel isn't written all over my face, especially since Eli seems to be watching me closely.
"I asked her what y'all did the rest of the camping trip."
"Oh, yeah? What did she say?" I gently pick up shards of glass out of the sink and dump them in the trash.
"She started acting weird. Didn't really meet my eyes. Kind of like you are now."
I look at him, his gaze heavy with accusation. "I'm cleaning up broken glass."
"Yeah, and it's broken because you freaked out I kissed her. You could have just said you liked her and saved me the sore balls." He shifts in his seat, wincing slightly.
I open my mouth to deny his words, but I can’t lie to my friend. "I'm not supposed to like her."
"Why not? Because your parents are engaged? Come on, isn't getting it on with your stepsister some sort of kink? Sounds kinda hot, actually."
Does he really not get the weirdness of this situation? "She doesn't want to fuck up their relationship, and I really don't either. If Lainey and I get together and it goes south, it could cause real problems."
"What if it doesn't go south?"
"I don't know. I guess that's the risk we're not willing to take, considering our track records."
Eli watches me with his glass hanging by his fingers. "When was the last time you really liked someone?"
"I've liked plenty of girls."
Eli cocks his head. "Come on. As much fun as you had as Frat Bro Ben, it was always a cover. You want the big love like your parents."
Shit. I don't have a response to that. It's true. "Yeah, well, after seeing all her mom’s relationships with fuckboys go south, Lainey scares easily."
“So, Frat Bro Ben has to work for it now,” he muses. “How the tables have turned.”
I flip him off.
He laughs softly as he shakes his head. "Now that I think about it, I can't believe I missed the signs because it was crystal fucking clear you two like each other. I blame the flu for not catching on to all that Never Have I Ever bullshit. I have a strong feeling you two would both be drinking now with the sex question. "
I keep quiet and concentrate on not dropping another glass as I clean it.
"Uh-huh. Nailed it."
"Lainey and I are just friends." If I say it enough times, it’ll be true, damn it.
"Friends who fucked."
I shoot him a watch-it stare. The asshole smiles. I ignore him as I continue to clean.
“She sat in Poppy’s spot, didn’t she? That’s why things got all weird when y’all were talking about it.”
I don’t confirm or deny a thing, but I don’t need to.
He rests his forearms on the bar and leans close. "You've known this woman six months, and you’ve done things with her you haven’t done with anyone else. You can call it whatever you want, but you two have been in an exclusive relationship."
I freeze. Damn. He has a point. Not that Lainey and I have been dating for six months, but we've been in constant contact. We've kissed. We've had sex. Maybe it's not a conventional one, but it's definitely some sort of relationship.
"Hey," Eli says, his voice sharp, forcing me to look up. His expression is sincere and serious. "I know your dad's happiness is important, but he wouldn't want you to give up on a chance for you to find yours."
Lainey
Happy Birthday!!
Did you get your present?
Ben
Thank you!
You mean the T-shirt with Donald Duck on it that says Duck Around and Find Out?
Lainey
How awesome is it that you share your birthday with Donald Duck Day!!
Ben
If you looked up the holidays for today, then you know what other day it is.
Lainey
National Earl Day?
Ben
Try again.
Lainey
National Meal Prep Day?
Ben
It’s National Sex Day, and you know it.
Look, no offense, but I think you missed the mark on the holiday I’m really excited about sharing my birthday with.
Lainey
Hmmm, must have missed that one.
Ben
Uh-huh. Sure.
Lainey
You can celebrate by ducking yourself.
Ben
Oh, I will be. Just know…I’d rather be ducking yo u.
Lainey
Josie stares at me open-mouthed. "They're engaged? Are you serious?"
"As a fake heart attack."
She snorts, loving the reminder of my New Year's Eve saga. "Oh, my God. Girl, you fucked your stepbrother."
Several gazes swing our way in the small restaurant.
I lean forward and whisper hiss, "Why don't you say it a little louder?"
"Sorry."
No, she’s not. "He's also not my stepbrother—yet."
"Wow. This is just... wow ."
"It's not wow. I'm going to be stuck with my one-night stand for the rest of my life." My amazing, hot, funny one-night stand who I was starting to think maybe…
No.
No maybes. Not with Ben. Especially now.
"Okay, for one, there are people out there raising kids with their one-night stands, so at least you don't have that going on."
I do my best not to show that the possibility was higher since we didn't use double protection. I don't get consistent periods with my IUD, so I did take a pregnancy test a couple of days ago to make sure.
"And second, Ben isn't a one-night stand. You might have only had sex once, but he's not some stranger. You like him, as in really like him like you've never liked anyone before. I can tell. You would have never slept with him if you didn't."
"The lust is strong between us."
She shakes her head. “No, girl, that’s called chemistry , and you know it. Why don’t you give the guy a chance?”
"Because he's going to be my stepbrother! "
"Come on, that's not that taboo. It's not like you're blood-related or underage. You're consenting adults."
She’s being so logical, and it would be so easy to allow it to sway me. I’m so fucking confused and conflicted. This thing with Ben doesn’t exactly feel wrong, but there are so many things that tell me it’s a bad idea. My DM’s keep getting flooded with messages about him. Most of them saying he’s a good time, not a long time. While I want to tell them all to go to hell, they don’t know him like I do, those warnings keep popping up in the back of my mind. Then there’s Mom.
"You should have seen my mom when Mike proposed,” I tell her. “She said she finally found the one. They're so happy together, and he’s perfect for her. For all of us. The other guys she’s been either barely acknowledged us or didn’t at all. Mike's all in, and Cassie’s already calling him Grandpa. She even called Ben uncle."
"Aww..."
"See! I can't screw that up."
" You can't screw up their relationship, Lainey."
I don’t mention that I’ve screwed up my mom’s relationships before.
"Of course, I can. When have I ever got it right with a guy? I can’t even get a holidate that works out."
"Yeah, but none of them are like Ben. Maybe that’s the difference. Maybe that’s what makes him... right .”
No, I can't think of Ben as Mr. Right because what if I'm wrong? I was grossly mistaken about Isaac. I thought he was the perfect boyfriend. Turns out, he was the perfect boyfriend to several other girls, too. Isaac fooled me for two years, and I’ve only known Ben six months.
I can just see future holiday gatherings where Ben and I sit on opposite ends of the dining table, avoiding each other to the point of awkwardness. Or we'll have to take turns on holidays like a kid with divorced parents. Pursuing whatever this is any further spells disaster. I shouldn’t have shared his tent. I should have never turned to him and begged him not to be my friend.
A text lights up my phone, saving me from responding to Josie. It's my boss asking where my Father's Day submission is. I was hoping I could skip the holiday since I've never celebrated it.
I sigh and put my phone back on the table a little harder than necessary.
"What?" Josie asks.
"I have to do a Father's Day post, and my boss wants to see my ideas. Maybe I should post a picture of me with my arm around the air."
Josie gives me a sympathetic look as she reaches over and takes my hand. I thought I stopped letting Father's Day bother me years ago, but this year it's hitting differently. Maybe because Mike and Ben are in my life. Not only do they have a great father-son relationship, but Mike has made a genuine effort to get to know me and Harper. In only six months, it feels like he’s been part of our family for years. Like he belongs. Another reason I don’t want to screw everything up.
"What about reaching out to Mike? Maybe you could do something with him?"
I don’t hate the idea, but I don’t want to interfere. "No. It's his day with Ben."
She tilts her head. "Do you really think Ben would mind?"
"I don't know."
"You know he wouldn't, Lainey." Her gaze narrows. "Okay, filter off.”
Oh, crap. Josie doesn’t withhold much, but when she turns off her filter, it means you’re about to be hit with something you really don’t want to hear.
She leans forward, her gaze steadily holding mine. "Stop refusing to read the book because you’re afraid of how it will end."
“What?”
“Read the fucking book, Lainey. Enjoy the journey. Don’t think about the ending. Because a good book never ends. It stays with you forever.”
As her words sink in, they lodge in the middle of my chest. My first instinct is to say I don’t do that. But I do. It seems hardwired in me to flee at the first hint of trouble.
In the end, isn’t it better that way, though? Of all things, I can’t get this wrong. There’s too much at stake.