Bald Eagle Appreciation Day
JUNE 20TH
Ben
Are you going out with Eagle today?
Lainey
What? Where is that coming from?
Ben
It's . Seems like the perfect day to go on a date with a bald Eagle.
Lainey
OMG! ROFL!!
Please don't tell my mother what day it is. I'll never hear the end of it.
Ben
You sure you don't want to give ol' Eagle a chance??
Lainey
It's also National Vanilla Milkshake Day. I'd rather indulge in that.
Ben
Vanilla is so boring.
Lainey
So is Eagle!
Ben
How do you know?
Lainey
So, I might have gone to my mom's class then on a coffee date afterward.
Ben
You didn't?
Lainey
She totally tricked me! Said we were going to brunch. I had to meditate about mimosas instead of drinking them—which is totally not the same.
Eagle talked WAY too passionately about Chai. Oh, and he had talons. Like the longest toenails I've ever seen. *gagging emoji*
Yoga is forever ruined for me.
And get this, his real name isn't Eagle.
It's Max Buffamonteezi. I saw the name on his credit card.
Ben
I think I know why he goes by Eagle.
I'm laughing so hard my stomach hurts.
Lainey
*middle finger emoji*