Fourth of July
LAINEY
"Why can't she be awful? Or you know, have saggy boobs," I say, as I eye Ben's date with the perfect pair of perky breasts.
Though date might not be the correct word. He introduced her as a friend and showed up with Eli in tow too. It’s clear in the way he and Monica interact that they know each other well, but I haven’t seen him touch her once. No flirty looks. Only friendly ones.
I can’t help but think that this is his way of showing me he meant what he said last time we were here. While I’m here on a date I don’t want to be on.
"The world isn't fair," Josie says. "And you really need to stop staring at Ben's date and pay attention to yours."
I scan the room for Gavin and spot him talking with Chandler. Gavin towers over him, as he’s jacked in a pro-wrestler kind of way. He’s so swole he looks like he’s been stuffed into a thick coat and can’t put his arms down.
"He's…um…interesting.” Josie presses her lips together in an attempt not to say more.
Ha, that’s being generous. I look at Josie. “Yeah, if you like working out and debating the benefits of whey versus egg white protein powder.”
She laughs and nearly chokes on her drink. “I’m going to die, but that was totally worth it,” she manages between coughs.
I feel like an idiot for leaving the pool with Ben for the most boring date ever. Not that Gavin noticed. He was more interested in telling me about the bodybuilding gym he’s opening and the protein-forward diet I should follow for building muscle. I’m no fool. He wants to use our date solely to promote his gym. He’s passionate about his work and lifestyle, and even though it’s not my thing, I can respect that.
Though I wish I’d asked what kind of swimsuit do you prefer as one of my screener questions. I wasn’t expecting the skintight, package-hugging shorts he’s sporting. He pulls them off and has turned a few female heads, but there are kids here.
Gavin looks my way and smiles before motioning me over. Rocks settle in my stomach.
“See? Your date’s missing you,” Josie says with a barely contained laugh.
“Come with me.” I give her an imploring look.
“Oh, I’m good. He already suggested beef isolate protein powders since I don’t like whey.”
I groan but put on my big girl panties and head his way, plastering on a smile. When I get to him, he wraps his arm around my waist. I stiffen, not expecting the move. The most we’ve touched is a handshake.
"Hey, there," he says, with a smile some might think is sexy—not me. “Missed you.”
I do my best to keep the what the fuck out of my expression as I stealthily shift out of his embrace. "Really?"
"Yeah." His voice is rougher and there’s something in the way he’s looking at me that sends off an alarm in my brain. Abort! Abort !
I back up as he leans closer.
"Jello shots?" A handful of Jello shots are thrust between us.
I turn to see my brother-in-law with a big false smile on his lips, and I thank God my sister had the good sense to marry this man.
"Yes!" I pluck one from his hand, and he gives me a knowing nod.
Chandler holds out the other shot to Gavin. "No, thanks. I don't do artificial dyes."
On our intro date, I learned another thing about Gavin: to keep that body, he doesn't indulge in vices or anything that’s not organic. I’ll bet his cheat day and mine look very different.
"I'll take it." I grab the other shot, pop the tops, and swallow both in a matter of seconds. Gavin’s looking at me a little shocked—and not terribly impressed. "I'll, um, go throw these away," I say, untangling from him. I turn and immediately lock eyes with Ben. He's across the pool, standing next to Eli and Monica. His jaw is clenched, and the grip on his beer looks lethal. Then Monica touches his arm, grabbing his attention, and he looks down at her and smiles. It’s sweet and genuine, nothing that should twist my stomach in jealousy, but here I am.
I march up to the bar and ask for another sangria and Jello shot. The bartender hands me the shot first. As I pop the top, I hear, "Thought I warned you about those."
The brush of Ben’s chest against my shoulder and the deep, velvety sound of his voice hit me harder than the Jello shot.
"I've decided to live dangerously," I say, before I use my tongue to loosen the Jello and suck the shot into my mouth. "You should try one. They're pretty good."
They're terrible.
"Lainey, you've just downed three of those with vile tequila in them. You're going to be sick. "
At this point, I’d welcome puking over seeing him with his gorgeous date. Or friend. Or whatever she is.
"I'll be fine. They're not that strong."
It's a lie. The tequila’s already numbing my brain cells, which is the only explanation for what I do next. I lean over the bar, swipe two more of the shot containers, tuck them into my halter top, and grab my sangria. I give Ben a big smile and turn back toward the party. I successfully avoid him for I don't know how long until somehow Gavin and I are playing ping-pong against him and Monica—who, of course, is really cool.
My hand-eye coordination isn’t the best anymore, but I'm holding my own. I think. One of Chandler's friends comes up with a tray of Jello shots. Monica and I are the only ones who grab one, though I'm the only one who earns a look of disapproval from Ben and Gavin. With my gaze locked on Ben, I use my middle finger to loosen the Jello, stick my finger in my mouth, and swipe it clean. His jaw clenches. I suck in the shot. The second it shoots down my throat, I know it’s a bad idea.
My stomach lurches. If I don't move, I'll throw up in front of the whole party. I manage a be right back and casually walk away, though nothing feels calm about what's going on inside my body. The second I set foot inside the house, I book it up the stairs and head straight for the primary bathroom where I know no one will enter. The closer I get, the more my stomach churns. I barely make it to the toilet. A rush of red surges from my mouth over and over.
“I understand Gavin's aversion to red dye now,” I groan into the bowl.
Suddenly, my hair’s swept from my face and a warm hand gently rubs my back. I know it's him. While I'm mortified for him to see me like this, I don't want anyone else with me right now. My stomach spasms, and I get sick a few more times before I think I'm finally done .
Ben hands me some toilet tissue to clean up my mouth. I do and fall back, leaning against his legs.
"Thanks," I say weakly.
"You okay?"
No. I’m a hot mess and embarrassed.
“Yeah,” I manage, as he helps me up and leads me to the vanity stool. He rummages through the cabinets and pulls out a washcloth, wets it, then squats in front of me and gently wipes my clammy face. I can't look him in the eye. I feel so fucking stupid. "Are you going to tell me I told you so?"
"It doesn't seem like I have to."
I huff a laugh and look at him. He gives me a gentle smile, and I take the washcloth from his hand. "Thanks. I'm okay. You should get back to Monica."
He stares at me for a while before standing up. "Stay here, okay? Maybe go lay down."
I nod, and he leaves. I kind of hate that he listened to me, but I don't deserve his care. I look through Harper's drawers and thankfully find an unopened toothbrush and a tube of spearmint toothpaste. As I finish up, the bedroom door opens and shuts. I look over to see Ben is back, one hand holding a plate and the other a bottle of water.
"What are you doing?"
"The only thing I've seen enter your stomach all day is alcohol. Come on, you need to rehydrate and get some food in you."
I set the toothbrush aside and join him in the bedroom. He hands me the water, and I take a few small sips. Next, he’s offering a cracker. I'm not sure I can eat anything right now, but I take a small bite. It goes down okay, so I slowly eat the rest of it. We don't talk as I nibble on a piece of cheese and a few more crackers. My eyes suddenly feel heavy after I get the whole bottle of water down. It feels like I'm in some sort of trance as I'm pulled onto the bed nestled next to Ben, then nothing .
Soft, gentle fingertips brush my wrist, caressing my skin. I open my eyes and realize I’m draped over someone. I look up to see it's Ben. "I slept on you?"
"Yeah. How are you feeling?"
"Better. How long was I out?"
"An hour."
I say what’s true but not what I truly desire. “You should be with your date, not me."
"Is that what you really want?"
No. And he knows that. When I don't say anything, he sighs. "Monica knows where I am."
"She's okay with you going off with another woman?"
"I'm okay with the fact that she's married to one."
I jerk away to look up at him, but not enough to untangle our limbs. "What?"
He meets my gaze. “I've known Monica since freshman year when I tried to hit on her, and she responded by kissing the woman standing next to her. That woman’s now her wife and had to work today. I invited Monica so she wouldn't spend the holiday alone."
"You brought a fake date?"
“I introduced her as a friend. Not a date.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It does. I wanted you to know she wasn’t a date. Has it looked like I’ve been on a date?” When I don’t say anything, he continues. “If anyone brought a fake date, it was you.”
"Gavin isn't a fake date."
He tilts his head. "I talked to him. This date is more about his gym than a love connection. However, that didn't stop him from trying to make a move."
I suppress a shudder at the almost kiss. "Just because he wants exposure doesn't mean it's not a real date. "
One side of his mouth notches up. "You're cute when you lie." I huff out a frustrated breath and try to get away from him, but he pulls me back. "Just admit it. This is business, not pleasure. You move away anytime he tries to touch you. You downed two Jello shots to avoid kissing him, and you’ve done your best to avoid him."
"You're not cute when you're smug."
He barks out a laugh. "I so am, and you know it."
I don't get to respond because the door opens, and my mom walks in. And what she sees looks pretty bad—both of us looking sleepy and cozy with our half-naked bodies draped over each other. My mom's mouth falls open before that motherly look of disappointment comes over her face. "We've been looking for you. You left your date all alone. What are you even doing?" Her gaze jumps to Ben then back to me.
"Sorry, I had too many Jello shots."
"Yeah, I noticed.” Her voice is tight and clipped, which is never a good sign.
"She just had a quick nap. She's feeling better now," Ben says, helping me off his body.
My mom's mouth flattens then she forces a smile. "Thanks for taking care of her, Ben. Why don't you go back to the party? I think your date has been looking for you, too."
Ben's mouth thins as he knows full well that isn’t the case. He looks at me, his face full of concern. "You okay?"
"I'm fine. Go ahead."
He gives me a nod and squeezes my leg before heading out. My mom comes fully into the room and shuts the door. "What are you doing, Lainey?"
"I just got carried away with the Jello shots."
"That's not what I'm talking about. What are you doing with Ben?"
"Nothing. He was being nice. "
My mom takes a step toward me, anger and worry on her face. "That’s not what I mean, and you know it.”
Shit.
“I was asleep until a few minutes ago. That’s it,” I say, hoping she doesn’t notice I didn’t fully address her statement.
But she notices. Instead of becoming angrier, her expression crumbles and tears fill her eyes. She covers her face with her hands. Oh shit.
“Mom.” I rush to her.
“Lainey…” She drops her hands, and the devastation on her face is like a knife to the chest. “Mike is really close to his son. He'll put him above anyone else. Please don’t mess with this like you did with…"
“With who?”
She looks away, tears streaming down her face.
“Mom?”
“Are you trying to…you know…like you did before?”
I shake my head. Fuck. She thinks I’m messing with Ben on purpose? To ruin her relationship with Mike? How could she think that now?
“Mike loves you. Truly. I can see that.” Hell, anyone could. “I would never take that from you.”
She takes a shuddering breath as a fresh set of tears start flowing. “If he walks away, my heart won’t break, it’ll shatter. Lainey, please…please, don’t mess this up for me. I don’t want to lose him. I can’t ." She’s sobbing and working herself into a full-out panic attack. Seeing her like this is breaking my heart.
I pull her into a hug, guilt churning in my stomach.
"We're friends, Mom. We’ve gotten close because we're going to be family. I want you and Mike to be happy as much as you do. I promise."
I hug her tightly to seal my promise. To make sure I can’t take it back—no matter how much it hurts.