Perfect Family Day
JULY 18TH
Kathleen
Hi family! We want you all to know we're getting married August 6th. Save the date!
Mike
Willick Hall. 4:00 p.m.
Harper
omg! Are you serious?
Lainey
Wait? What? This August 6th?
Ben
Like less than 3 weeks from now?
Kathleen
Yes, this August 6th
Lainey
But it's August. In Texas. No one gets married in August in Texas.
Harper
Wow, this is so exciting!!
Kathleen
It's called an indoor wedding with air conditioning, Lainey. We decided we don’t want a big wedding. Just immediate family and a few friends.
Ben
That’s 19 days away.
Mike
We're not getting any younger. Why wait?
Harper
Mom! We have so much to do. Do you have a dress? What are Lainey and I wearing? We're your bridesmaids, right? Is there a reception? Food? What about Cassie? Is she a flower girl? What should she wear? There's a lot to do in a little amount of time.
Kathleen
Harper, take a breath. The venue takes care of everything. We're all good. I have a dress. I would like you and Lainey to wear something blue, whatever you want. Of course, Cassie is in the wedding. You can choose what she wears.
Harper
But I thought we were going to go dress shopping together. Did you go wedding dress shopping without your daughters?
Kathleen
No, I have a white lace dress I bought years ago and have never worn. Why don't we pick out what Cassie will wear together?
Harper
Okay. Yeah. That'll be fun.
Mike
Ben? Lainey? Are y'all good?
Ben
Yeah, all good. Congratulations, guys! Really. So happy for y'all
Lainey
Yes, congrats!! This will be great.
Ben
Yep. Great.
Harper
Can you believe this? She planned it without us. WTH?
Lainey
It’s her wedding,
Harper
She should have included us! This is huge. She’s finally getting married, and she just left us out of it.
Lainey
We're in the wedding, Harp. Don't make this about you.
Harper
I'm not making it about me.
Lainey
Sure.
Harper
At least I'm actually happy about it. You and Ben sounded so fake. Could it have been more obvious you two were freaked out by the date?
Lainey
Of course, we're happy for them. She pulled the rug out from beneath us. Who announces something like that over text?
Harper
It's probably good it's happening quickly before you and Ben do something you can't take back.
Lainey
Okay, I'm done with this convo. Go take a Xanax, Drama Queen
Harper
It's not drama if it's true. You can't mess this up by fucking your stepbrother.
Lainey
*middle finger emoji*
Chandler
So, I hear we're going to be family sooner rather than later.
Ben
Yeah, really soon.
Chandler
You okay?
Ben
Yeah. Good. Why?
Chandler
Because I just listened to a Harper tirade about your mom's text bomb and how you and Lainey sounded less than enthused was a big part of it.
Ben
Ha! I think we were both shell-shocked.
Chandler
Them getting married doesn't mean it's a dealbreaker for you and Lainey.
Ben
I have a feeling it is.
Chandler
Shit, gotta run. Lainey must have pissed off Harper because she just threw her phone. Damn thing better not be broken.
Ben
So, this is really happening.
Lainey
Looks like it.
Ben
You good?
Lainey
I'm good. You?
Ben
Yep.
Good.
Lainey
Good.
Ben
…
Chandler texted me. Sounds like our parents short-circuited Harper.
Lainey
omg, yes. Her controlling nature can't take this.
Ben
Heard you pissed her off.
Lainey
Told her to take a Xanax. She was making it all about her.
Ben
Hey, you know what holiday it is?
Lainey
What?
Ben
Lainey
hahahahahahaha