National Tell a Joke Day
AUGUST 16TH
Ben
It's
Lainey
Oh, boy. Let me guess - you're going to tell me a really bad dad joke.
Ben
You seriously underestimate me. Ready?
Lainey
Hit me.
Ben
Why do walruses love a Tupperware party?
Lainey
Why?
Ben
They're always on the lookout for a tight seal.
Lainey
Omg! That's so bad, it's good. You made me snort laugh.
Ben
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit"
What do you do when your cat's dead?
Play with the neighbor's pussy instead.
Lainey
omg!! That's so wrong! I'm laughing so hard. Do you only know dirty jokes?
Ben
They're the best ones.
What do you get when you jingle Santa's balls?
Lainey
I don't want to know!
Ben
A white Christmas
Lainey
Okay, you've officially ruined Christmas for me. My stomach is cramping I'm laughing so hard.
Okay, I got one. What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree?
Ben
What?
Lainey
Hold on to your nuts, this ain't no ordinary blowjob.
Ben
hahaha! Good one!
What do you call a smiling Roman soldier with a piece of hair stuck between his front teeth?
Lainey
This one is going to be bad. I can feel it.
Ben
A glad-he-ate-her
Lainey
Yep. So bad. *eye roll emoji*
Why does Miss Piggy douche with honey?
Because Kermit likes his pork sweet and sour.
Ben
Whoa! Lololol! That is an image I don't need from my favorite Muppets!
Lainey
Why didn't Barbie get pregnant?
Because Ken came in a different box.
Ben
What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?
She gagged.
Lainey
*big eyes emoji*
What is 6.9?
Ben
What?
Lainey
A good thing ruined by a period.
Ben
Oh, shit! I just snorted water through my nose. Fuck, it burns. I can't stop laughing.
Lainey
Mic drop.