National Fried Rice Day, National Queso Day - September 20th
LAINEY
Me
It's National Fried Rice Day and National Queso Day. Both my faves!! Why do they have to be on the same day?
Ben
Have both
Me
It's an odd combination
Ben
One for lunch and one for dinner.
Me
Hmmm, that's not a bad idea
Ben
It's a great idea! Let's go to The Hub. Best queso in town. And I know a great Chinese restaurant by the bar. We can do takeout for dinner.
I read his text and set my phone down. He wants to eat lunch and dinner together? That's not exactly what I had in mind when I texted him. I shouldn't have even started this text. I've told myself to put distance between us since Labor Day weekend, but we can't seem to stop texting each other. He invited the whole family to the bar on National Stepfamily Day and we debated on the best chocolate for Choose your Chocolate Day—his favorite are fudge brownies. We even texted in pirate-see for Talk like a Pirate Day. He's been friendly—too friendly.
No blatant flirting. No touches, not even a graze of hands. It's exactly what I asked for when our parents got married. So why can’t I seem to escape this aching sense of disappointment? I love being his friend. But I also miss his kisses. I miss the feel of his hand pressing between my shoulder blades—making me feel safe and reckless at the same time.
Ben
Come on, it's just food.
Me
A whole day of food.
Ben
Um, yeah. That's a perfect day.
Me
True.
I’m going to hell.
Me
Okay, I'll meet you at The Hub in an hour. Sound good? I’ll have to get some work done between lunch and dinner, though.
Ben
Wanna do it at the bar? I have paperwork and inventory to do. We can work separately together.
I can't help the smile that forms. God, it sounds so nice. So nice I should say no. But I won't. Because I miss him. And I want to spend time with him. And I don't really know what to do with all that except go with it.
Me
That works.
An hour later, we're at The Hub with a large bowl of queso between us.
"What do you have to do for work today? Any upcoming holidates?" Ben asks as he dips his chip.
"No, thank God. I'm so glad there's a holiday break."
He bites back a smile but still looks way too happy about the fact I don’t want to go on a date. I ignore him and stuff a chip into my mouth.
"You could write a post about National Queso Day,” he suggests.
"Since there aren't many holidays between now and Halloween, I'll probably have to include these silly holidays and find dates."
"I can’t believe you’d spend these crazy holidays with anyone else but me." He presses his hand over his heart.
I throw a chip at him, and he laughs.
"You know my dates are your favorite." He gives me a flirty grin while I pretend that isn’t true. "So, still not liking this job like you’d thought?”
I swirl a chip through the cheese. "Not really. Checking out all the new, hip places in town is fun, but it's also draining. I don't want to be ‘on’ that much. Writing the posts is okay, but I don't want to be a writer. So, here I am, bored again. Why can’t I find something that really excites me?"
"Look at it this way, you now know what you don’t want to do.”
He has a point. I always focus on how I keep getting it wrong that I don’t think about what I do learn from each failed attempt. “That’s true.”
We split a burger so our lunch isn't solely chips and queso. Afterward, we head to Red Poppy, and Ben gets me set up in his office. I'm working from the couch while he's at his desk. He's in and out as he works on inventory. At some point, we're both on the couch working. We share some smiles and heated looks, but mostly it's just nice. Natural.
My legs are propped on his lap as I work from my laptop. He was reading until a moment ago when he tossed the papers away with a sigh and is now rubbing my sock-clad feet—which feels amazing.
"What is it?" I ask without looking up.
He’s silent for a moment before saying, “I've been thinking about doing something for my mom's birthday here at the bar, but I'm having a hard time getting something going. Last year, it wasn't until I was halfway through the day that it occurred to me I named the bar after her but didn't do anything to acknowledge her birthday."
"I think that's a great idea. When's her birthday?"
"October first, which also kicks off Breast Cancer Awareness month. I should do something to raise money, but there's a part of me that doesn't want to dwell on what killed her. Kind of terrible of me since it could really help others, huh?"
"No, I get it. You want to think of her before she got sick."
His gaze roams over my face, settling on my lips for a few beats longer before returning to my eyes. "Yeah, that's it. That's exactly it. "
I set aside my laptop and take his hand in mine. He lifts our joined hands and presses a kiss to my knuckles, his grip tightening. The raw need in his eyes hits me so thoroughly I want to cry. The need to crawl fully into his lap and hug him to me as tightly as I can nearly overwhelms me.
He clears his throat and looks away. "Anyway, it's not that far off, so I should get on the ball and figure out what all I need to do. Get the word out. I don't understand how I want to do something so badly yet can't seem to make myself do it."
"Let me do it,” I blurt out.
He looks at me, confused. "What do you mean?"
"I'll organize it. If you give me access to your socials, I'll do all the marketing, and I can even mention it on my blog. Let me do it all. You focus on creating a signature cocktail for the night. I know you already have the Poppy, but let's do a specialty birthday drink. The proceeds from the cocktails can be donated. What do you think?"
My brain’s already churning up ideas I'm dying to write down.
His brows bunch. "I can't let you do all that."
"Yes, you can. You just said you're having a hard time with it, so let me do it. I already have some really great ideas.” I’m practically bouncing in my seat.
“What are they?”
“No, sir.” I shake my head. “Let me do this for you. I promise you’ll love it."
His eyes roam my face again. "This excites you."
Damn. It does. I really do enjoy the hands-on part of marketing—even if this is a slightly different situation. "Yes, it really does."
"Okay, you can do it."
I can't help myself; I launch at him and hug him. "Thank you, thank you. "
When I pull back, our faces are close, and the intensity from earlier is back. Neither of us are breathing as we stare at each other, fighting for what we both want. He releases a breath and uses his hand to brush my hair away from my eye. "I’m not sure you've noticed, but there's not much I'll say no to when it comes to you."
This man. This man’s going to melt my heart and my brain cells.
Fuck.
How am I supposed to resist him when he says things like that? He presses the special spot between my shoulder blades, and I know he's about to do something I should say no to, but won't. Because I want it as much as he does.
"Kiss me, Lainey."
"I can't." I don’t know how I found the willpower to say those words.
"A kiss to seal our deal."
"You don't play fair."
"Never said I would."
His gaze bores into mine, his fingers pressing further into the skin between my shoulder blades, a reminder it's still my choice.
I lean in. "Just one."
He doesn’t disguise the raw heat in his eyes. "Better make it good."
I brush my mouth against his. I do this over and over before I finally let my tongue trace his lips—then I seal it with a real kiss. It's slow and sultry, us each sipping and tasting from each other. It's the kind of kiss you never forget. The kind you relive at night. The kind you think of years later with perfect clarity.
When I pull away, I look into his gorgeous blue eyes and know I'll never forget the pure desire and want reflecting back at me. The promise I'm too afraid to fully acknowledge.
Shit. I really shouldn’t have kissed him .
We untangle and get back to work. Two hours later, I have a three-page list of ideas for Poppy's birthday. Jan shows up for work, and I pull her aside to discuss everything I want to do and how I want to keep it a surprise for Ben. She's all on board. I haven't been this excited about work in a long time. I like that I’m creating something real and will be a part of the results.
Ben orders our fried rice, and we tuck ourselves back onto his office couch with our bowls. It really has been the perfect day. I don’t remember the last time I enjoyed a workday more. I wish I could spend all of them here with Ben.
“Thanks for today,” I say.
He glances at me then, a soft smile on his lips. “It was a nice day.”
I want to tell him it was the best day. That no one has made me feel this comfortable and good before. I want to tell him he scares me in a way I’ve never been scared. I want to tell him he’s soul-changing.
“Hey.” He nudges me, and I blink out of my thoughts and meet his gaze. In those blue eyes, I see understanding. He knows I’m feeling more than I’m saying. He is, too. "We can do it again. Any time you need a day like today, just say the word, okay?"
I nod, even if I know I won’t. I can’t. I don’t know if I can walk away from another day like this without losing my heart.