Black Friday
LAINEY
I stare at my television screen. The CTU game’s on, but I couldn’t recall a single play. I can’t even focus on the score to see who’s winning. All I can do is relive everything that happened yesterday and today’s repercussions.
One, I lost my job. Pete complained about the food fight, and I woke up to an email terminating me, effective immediately. While being unemployed will eventually cause me to panic, I can’t seem to give a fuck right now. I was planning to quit in the new year anyway.
Two, how I treated Harper makes me feel like throwing up. Her few months of walking on the wild side in college was our secret, and I never judged her for it. Harper let her freak flag fly for the first and only time in her life, and I loved it. As hot as being with two guys might sound in my romance novels, it's not something I'd ever dare to try. Hell, I can't even handle one guy.
Which brings me to number three—Ben. And the email that just came in from him that I can’t make myself open. I already know what it is. I already know it’s going to hurt—even if I deserve it .
I need to click on it like I’m ripping off a Band-Aid. Get the pain over with.
I swallow and close my eyes, my chest feeling so tight it physically hurts. I tap on the email, hold my breath, and dare myself to read his message.
There they are. The signed annulment papers. But the pain is nothing like pulling off a Band-Aid. No, it’s deeper. Soul-wrenching deep. And all I can do is pull my knees up and wrap myself into a fetal position.
I was happy. I was in love— am in love.
And I fucked it all up.
I hurt him to the point of using our safe word. I was stupid to think it was only for me. That I was the only one at risk of being hurt. How fucking selfish of me. And now, I’ve lost it all.
A knock at my door tears me from my spiraling thoughts, and I freeze. Could it be…
Another knock sounds. "I know you're in there."
It's Harper. Knowing her, she'll probably camp out on my doormat if I don't answer. As hard as it’s going to be to face her, I have to. I have to make things right.
I open the door, and there she stands with a pumpkin pie in her hands. I immediately burst into tears. She starts crying too and pulls me into a tight hug.
"I'm sorry," she says between sobs.
"Me, too. That was awful of me.” My chest heaves. “I'm so sorry. I had no right."
Fuck, I may throw up.
"Me, too."
We pull away, and I move to let her in. She immediately goes into Mom Mode and starts making coffee. Thankfully, she says nothing about the state of my apartment. We eventually settle on my couch with pie and coffee and watch the game. This is our usual ritual—pie, football, and online Christmas shopping.
While I appreciate the break to get our emotions under control, I don’t want to avoid yesterday any longer. "Are you and Chandler okay? I'm sorry if I—"
She waves her hand at me. "Chandler knows about my freshman year craziness." Relief fills me as tears rush forth. God, I would have never forgiven myself if I messed with her marriage. "He wasn't exactly happy with my behavior yesterday either. Or for the last eleven months. I've been especially controlling and awful lately." She looks at me. "I was the one that was wrong about you and Ben."
My heart pinches at his name.
Harper shakes her head. "I was more concerned about myself, because I couldn’t handle it if Mom spiraled again. I’m a mom now and it’s been so fucking hard, and I’m constantly worried I’m doing it all wrong and…I just can’t be that girl I was in high school again.” She blows out a breath and looks at me with watery eyes. “Ben was right about how I was treating you. It was unfair and awful, and I’m really fucking sorry.”
I pull her into my arms and hold her close. I hate that I didn’t realize how much she was struggling with motherhood.
“I think we all need family therapy.”
Harper laughs and eases out of my hold, wiping her eyes. “Yeah, probably.”
“Please don’t feel like you can’t talk to me when you’re having a hard time, Harper.”
She nods. “Thanks, I know I should. I promise I’ll be a better sister to you.”
“Me too.”
She gets rid of the rest of her tears and looks at me with renewed determination. “Okay, we need to figure out how to fix the World’s Worst Thanksgiving and get you and Ben back together.”
I press my hand to my chest as the pain blooms all over again.
“I think I finally pushed him too far. He signed the annulment papers.”
Sympathy fills Harper’s expression. “Do you want to stay married?”
I sigh. “I know I want to be with him. But our relationship is basically based on failed dates and a drunken wedding. How can a marriage last on that? Maybe it’s best that he signed.”
Harper’s silent for a moment. "I met Chandler when I was living with Drake and Ethan.”
I blink. Those are her Reverse Harem boys, as I like to call them. “Okay,” I reply, unsure where she’s going with this.
“He needed a place to crash for a while, so he stayed with us.”
The almost shy yet leading tone of her voice has me sitting straight. “Wait. Do you mean…was he part of your…?”
“No.” Then cocks her head. “Kind of.”
I swear my eyes feel like they might pop out of my head like some cartoon character. “Chandler? Really ?”
She shrugs. “He wasn’t a stranger to group play, but that’s not the point.”
“It isn’t?” I push my hand through my hair trying to comprehend that my cinnamon roll brother-in-law has a group kink. “Oh my God, you have to tell me more. No, wait. I don’t know if I want to know because it’s Chandler . Do y’all still…?”
“God, no! Lainey, focus. The point is we met under very crazy circumstances, and our relationship wasn’t easy at first. I had a lot of growing up to do and getting over my own shit, which I clearly still struggle with, but we worked at it together. We still do. As much as I question my threesome phase, I don’t regret it. It brought me to him. Hell, look at Mom and Mike and how their first date went. Don’t you see? Maybe it isn't about how it happens. It's about how right it feels.”
And Ben feels right. He has all along and all I had to do was tell him.
“Listen to Ben. All those wrongs were just leading you to what’s right. You’re fucking amazing, Lainey. You don’t settle for anything less than the best for yourself."
Emotion clogs my throat. This is the Harper I’ve needed all year.
My tears start all over again. “Except I pushed the best away.”
“It’s not too late.”
“That’s what Mom said, but I really hurt him. I kept him at arm’s length all year, yet he kept wooing me, finding every single crazy holiday in the world just to text me. And all I had to do was fucking tell him I loved him back.”
Harper smiles and sits up straighter. “It’s simple then. Woo him back.”
My breath stalls then my heart seems to whoosh back to life. That’s it. It’s perfect!
I don’t think it’s going to be simple, but it’s not only exactly what I need to do, but it’s what he deserves. I’m going to stuff a year’s worth of love and courtship into one month and pray he forgives me.