Chapter 46
CRACKS IN THE MASK
NATALIE
Iwas packing for the weekend with Jason when Meredith walked into my bedroom, leaning against the doorframe.
“You’re really doing this?” she asked, her tone careful but weighted.
I folded a sweater and placed it in my suitcase, my movements slow, methodical. “I have to try,” I said simply.
She hesitated, then walked further into the room. “I ran into Will today.”
A quiet beat passed before I looked up. My hands stilled for a fraction of a second before I forced myself to keep packing. “How was he?”
“Broken,” she admitted. “He looked like he’d lost something he wasn’t ready to let go of.”
I sat down on the edge of the bed, inhaling deeply. “I can’t worry about him anymore, Mer. I’ve already made my choice.”
She sat beside me. “Have you? Or are you just doing what you think you’re supposed to do?”
I let out a slow breath, staring down at my hands. “Jason is my husband. I owe it to him, to our kids, to give this a real chance.”
“But what about you?” she pressed. “What do you want, Natalie? Not what the kids need or what Jason wants, what do you want?”
“I want to feel like myself again,” I admitted, my voice quieter now. “Will made me feel that way, helped me find myself again but…that’s not real life. It was a bubble, and I can’t live in a bubble.”
“Maybe it wasn’t a bubble,” she countered. “Maybe it was a glimpse of what real life could be if you stopped settling.”
Tears burned behind my eyes, but I blinked them away before they could fall. “I have to try,” I repeated, this time with more resolve. “If it doesn’t work, at least I’ll know I tried.”
Meredith sighed, nodding. “Okay,” she said softly. “But if it doesn’t feel right, you can walk away. You don’t have to force something that’s already broken to be whole.”
When I finished packing, I walked into the kitchen, where Bebe and James were already pulling out mixing bowls and cookie cutters.
“Cookies, huh?” I asked, a hint of amusement in my voice.
“Can we, Mommy?” Bebe’s face lit up with excitement.
“Of course,” I said, rolling up my sleeves.
Meredith grabbed the ingredients from the pantry as I measured out flour and sugar.
The kids chattered excitedly, debating which shapes to use for the cookies.
Bebe wanted stars and hearts, while James insisted on dinosaurs.
The kitchen filled with the sound of laughter and the warm smell of butter and vanilla.
I soaked it all in, trying to commit the moment to memory. This was what I was trying to protect. The life I had built and the stability my kids deserved.
The second batch of cookies was in the oven when Jason walked in.
“Hey! Sorry I’m late!” he called out.
“Typical,” Meredith muttered under her breath.
I shot her a look.
Jason strode into the kitchen. His grin was wide. “Wow, it smells amazing in here,” he said, leaning down to kiss Bebe on the top of her head. “What’s this?”
“We made cookies!” James said proudly, holding up a star-shaped one covered in sprinkles.
“Looks incredible, buddy,” Jason said, ruffling his hair. Then he turned to me. “Ready to go?”
I nodded, forcing a smile. “Yeah. Let me just grab my bag.”
As I stood, I turned to Meredith. “Thanks for staying, Mer. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
She waved me off. “Go. I’ve got this.”
I nodded, exhaling slowly as I picked up my suitcase and walked toward the door. The moment I stepped outside, an ache bloomed low inside me. Maybe it was just nerves. Maybe it was the weight of everything Jason and I were trying to rebuild. I squared my shoulders, taking a steady breath.
I had to believe this was the right thing. I had to.