16. Gigi
CHAPTER 16
Gigi
I don’t know what’s happening to me. Liquid courage? Six long months of not being touched? A mental breakdown? But right now, the only thing I can focus on is the way I shudder the moment Luke’s fingertips graze my earlobe. Is this the most pathetic reason for being turned on? Yes. Is the alcohol making me not care? Also yes. The alcohol is, in fact, making me not care about a lot of things concerning Lucas Palmer.
I gently place one hand on his cheek, and before I know it, my lips are planted on his lips. My heart beats faster when Luke kisses me back. Soft and gentle, two things I don’t associate with him. When he straightens his back and repositions himself, my hands create a loop around his neck, fusing our bodies together even more.
Luke’s tongue tastes a little bit like cheap vodka and boxed wine, and a lot like something I will regret in the morning.
“Gigi.” My name comes out with a breath as he breaks the kiss, bringing our foreheads together instead. “What are you doing?”
I wish I knew the answer to that question. All I know is that he is the only person that I have been interested in touching ever since… Don’t think about it, Gigi.
Think of happy thoughts, Gigi. Picture the ocean. Picture the park. Picture…Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
I don’t say anything back, diving back into him instead, melting our mouths together in a twisted union. Taking his baseball cap off, I focus on the sensation of raking my fingers over his dirty blond curls. They’re hanging above his ears now. When I moved to Kinsdale Springs, Luke had a buzz cut. He was just a few months younger than I am today, but he looked so different. He looked like a boy. I wonder if Luke thinks I’m juvenile right now. Like I’m an immature drunk who wants to jump the guy she’s left alone with. He wouldn’t be wrong to think that, though. I’m shamelessly dry humping him while our friends are upstairs.
Luke moves his mouth to my neck before pushing my hair to one side and leaving trails of kisses on my collarbone. I can’t bring myself to be ashamed of my A-cup tits when one of his big hands reaches under my wool sweater. The moan that comes out of me when he rolls his thumb over my nipple is a testament to that.
I shouldn’t want this. I shouldn’t be doing this. I should stop and say goodnight. But fuck it, I’m only human. And when Luke grips my hips, forcing me to slow down my movement, my clit feels like it’s being robbed of the friction.
“We should stop. You’re drunk,” he says while still flicking my nipple and trailing his lips on my shoulder, making no sign that he’s going to listen to his own advice. If that’s the rationale he is using, it’s weak as hell. He acts like I don’t feel the bulge that’s straining his jeans.
“I’m not too drunk that I can’t consent.”
“Fuck,” he groans. He pinches the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes. “You shouldn’t have said that.”
“One-time thing.” I gasp when he grabs the curve of my ass. “What about you? Are you too drunk for this?”
Luke breaks our contact. When he gently puts me down on the floor and stands up, I’m mentally preparing for him to go back to his guarded self and accuse me of being insane. Instead, he holds out his hand for me to take. “Sober enough to know what I’m doing, but drunk enough that I don’t care as much as I probably fucking should.” I grab his hand and he smirks, immediately letting it go to loop his arm around my shoulder. He lowers his lips to my ears and whispers, “Let’s go upstairs. I don’t think you’d want our friends to know that you’re about to hook up with your stepbrother.”
My heart is racing the whole time we make our way to the second floor. By the time we’re in Kai’s room, the poor thing is about to explode. I know Luke smokes pot at parties sometimes; I wonder if he brought any with him. I could really use it right about now.
The first thing I do once the back of my knees reach the edge of Malakai’s full mattress is pull Luke’s hoodie over his head. Something like guilt washes over me when I spot the tattoo on one of his pecs. In New York, I went to a Catholic school long enough to know who that is. Andrew the Apostle.
Luke follows where my eyes are going and swallows. He hovers over me when I take a seat on the bed, his thumb caressing my cheek. “Gi, we don’t have to do this,” he says in a gentle tone I have only heard a handful of times from him, and only once directed at me. During that night.
“I want to, Luke,” I whisper. “Make me forget. You know what this week is.” The six-month mark of a wasted death .
Although he stiffens, pausing momentarily, that seems to do it for him. He nods before planting his lips on mine again, even slower and more thoughtful than before. He breaks the kiss for a moment to look at me, scanning my face as if to make sure I’m okay, and I appreciate that he’s doing this for me. We’re not that close, but he must sense what a big step this is for me, regardless of the fact that I’m choosing to be with him.
I don’t know who undresses who first, but before I finish with my self-calming mantra, both of us are lying naked. Luke lowers his head, gripping the sides of my thighs with his big hands. Once my drunken mind realizes what he’s about to do, I lean on my elbows.
“I don’t want that, Luke. I want you inside me.”
He cocks an eyebrow as if that’s the most ridiculous thing on Earth. “You sure?” I nod, earning a chuckle from him. “Can’t say I’ve heard that one before. Suit yourself,” he says.
He straightens his back and kneels between my legs, rubbing his length a few times before aligning his dick with my opening. His bulge is veiny, with a little curve at the circumcised tip. I feel my face heating up and my chest thundering at the pressure of his penis going inside. It’s happening. Luke is going inside me. I’m going to fuck Luke.
I wince at the way he’s stretching me, holding onto his shoulders for support. Moral support? Emotional support? There’s too much going on in my mind and in this room to analyze my feelings and color-code it.
“Luke,” I whimper.
“Gigi, fuck, you’re so tight.”
He pulls himself out of me completely before going back in. After a few thrusts, the discomfort has worn off and something else takes its place. With every plunge inside, I feel more vibrations in my core. When I wrap my legs around Luke’s hips, he groans out my name as he goes deeper inside me.
As his thumb draws circles on my clit, I completely forget why us doing this is frowned upon. Just like everything else that Luke has been doing, the way he’s getting me off would cause my jaw to drop on the floor with how gentle it is if I wasn’t already using my mouth to pant. Is this what sex is supposed to feel like?
I feel the burn in the lower part of my body and I don’t know what’s coming. Judging by the way Luke picks up the pace, he’s not far off from his own climax. Just as I am about to tell him to slow down because it hurts and go back to being gentle again, he finishes, shooting a ribbon of warm liquid inside me.
“Sorry.” He chuckles into the crook of my neck. “You felt so good I couldn’t hold off anymore.” Luke kisses the crown of my head before trailing his lips down my stomach. “I’ll make it up to you, right now, Gi.”
“What are you waiting for?” I ask, breathing heavily when he stops giving me pecks that send tingles under my skin. “I thought you were going to make it up to me?” When I look down, I see Luke staring at me. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw is tight. “What’s wrong?” I ask, still spread out on my back.
He stands up and goes to the bathroom, only to come back with a towel. As he wipes me clean, Luke finally speaks. “You didn’t tell me you were a virgin,” he says through gritted teeth.