15. nick
NICK
ROMANTIC STUFF BUCKET LIST
After carefully shaving my face, patting on my ‘honeypot’ concoction—two colognes artfully mixed together that my teammates applauded me on—I ran my car through the car wash. When I rolled up, I wanted to be the best-looking guy around. Top shelf liquor, that’s me.
I checked my hair twice in the long library windows and scanned the small crowd for her.
There she was. Her thick, dark hair was swept back with another pretty headband, eyes sparkling. I smiled. That's what it was like to see Tallulah; an immediate smile without even realizing I was smiling.
Her eyes caught mine, and her face lit up. I’d been waiting months for that. For her to be excited when I was around. It was even better than I imagined.
Taking a seat by the librarian station, I couldn’t stop grinning. All I had to do was wait.
A librarian walked by, coffee in hand. “Are you here to volunteer?”
I chuckled. “With the reading thing?”
“We need one more volunteer.”
“You don’t want me. I’d come with a swear jar.”
“We’re in the middle of a literary crisis,” she pushed. “Anyone’s better than no one.”
I shrugged. “I’m sure you’ll find somebody.”
Her eyes narrowed behind her spectacles. She seemed to catch my line of view. “You’re with Tallulah?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you her boyfriend?”
“Am I…?” I lapsed into silence. It didn’t feel great to have someone point out that I was just some guy hanging out on the outskirts of Tallulah’s life. “We—uh—see…it’s complic—uh, no.”
“Fantastic.” She nodded, walking away. “My grandson wanted to know.”
“Grandson?” I shot up out of the chair, following her. “What do you mean?”
“He wants to know if Tallulah’s single—”
“Single? How old is he?”
“How old are you?”
“Twenty-one.”
“He’s twenty-five.” She ignored my sounds of disbelief and gave me a once-over. “How tall are you?”
“Six feet?”
“He’s six-foot-six.”
“Godda—” I swallowed the curse, knocking my knuckles against the back of a chair. “When’s he supposed to—?”
“He’s volunteering with Tallulah next week if we don’t have another—”
“What? No. I’ll do it.”
“Wonderful.” Her bony hand redirected me to the crowd of kids. “Have fun.”
I couldn’t remember the last time I was in a library without a homework deadline I’d already missed. And it’d been way longer than that since I’d cracked open a book. I shuffled forward, hands shoved in my pockets. I didn’t know…how to do this.
But I didn’t take up a spot on a glorified Canadian beer league and sign my name with Joe Tomasini just to watch Tallulah get asked out by some asshole.
“Nick?” Tallulah whispered. “I’m not done yet—”
“I know. I’m here to…you know.”
“What?”
“Do the reading stuff.” I grimaced. “With kids.”
She blinked. “Really?”
“I guess.”
There were so many kids, like a fungus or a plague. We were surrounded. My experience with kids began and ended with them leaning over the barriers to knuckle-punch me after games. Shit, I didn’t know what I was doing.
A little boy tried to take the chair next to Tallulah’s. When he sat down, I dragged his chair away from her, maneuvering another chair for me to be close to her.
The kid frowned. “I want to read with her.”
“Get in line,” I told him.
“Who am I supposed to read with now?”
“Me. Hi. I’m Nick. I’m a hockey player.”
He made a face. “My mom says hockey players are addicted to gambling and belong in zoos.”
I grunted. “Awesome.”
The kid read at the speed that some of my teammates did after serious concussions. I couldn’t understand why Tallulah did this. It wasn’t just for her paper either. As far as I understood it, Tallulah volunteered weekly at the unfun playground on her own time. Why? I had no idea.
The next book had a fluffy black cat on the cover. I pointed at it. “That looks like my—Tallulah’s cat.”
The little boy demanded proof, and I slipped out my phone, flashing photos of Rat, peeking out from the nest she’d created in my gear bag for hockey. It was like I lit a lantern for moths. Too many kids abandoned their books to check out the photo.
I frowned. “I didn’t ask for a swarm to come over—”
“When are you bringing the cat?” the little boy asked over Tallulah’s giggle.
“Never,” I answered.
“Never?!”
“We might,” Tallulah amended. “They have a pet reading time—”
“Kids are like chimpanzees,” I said indignantly. “They’ll manhandle her!”
The kids were begging Tallulah to reconsider like she was the one they needed permission from. Like she was the one who had the kitten in her house.
“No,” I told them. “It’s not happening. Your negotiation tactics are terrible. No cat. Never visiting.”
“Nick,” Tallulah interjected.
“No.”
“Nick.”
“No.”
Her eyes settled on mine, the softest, deepest, warmest brown. “Nick.”
“Yes,” I said without thinking. Wait, why did I say that? “I mean no. Maybe.”
Tallulah’s laugh was twinkling, the prettiest sound in the room by far. The kids relaxed, like this was some compromise, which was unfounded confidence. Rat wasn’t visiting dozens of mini King Kongs at the library. Eh, I stopped correcting them, I was too busy stealing looks at Tallulah.
And her wallet, lying on the ground.
Nodding along to the kid mispronouncing ‘bakery,’ I leaned back, scooping up her wallet. I almost passed it to her, until I remembered what she kept inside. I slipped out the piece of paper.
The Important List
Public Sex [orgasm MUST happen or it doesn’t count]
Drunk Sex [sloppy drunk preferred]
Orgasm Denial [no safe word allowed]
Sex Toy [not just a vibrator—something creative?]
Restrained During Sex [something I can’t get out of]
Cum from cunnilingus [any position will do]
Something Unexpected [I don’t want to be told beforehand—spontaneity preferred]
I smirked and held it out for Tallulah.
A blush colored her cheeks. She hurried to hide her wallet in her backpack, listening to three kids tell a story over each other.
Getting to spend time with her was the best part of my day, but as I settled back, questions nagged at me.
What did Tallulah think of me being here?
What did Tallulah think of me?
We were about to be friends with benefits, and…what? I was a guy she wanted to fuck around with?
A metaphorical clock ticked overhead. I had until August for Tallulah to realize I was more than everybody said I was. That I could be more for her. That I was boyfriend material. Not some guy to fuck around with, but the guy.
The kind of boyfriend that girls basically clipped to their backpacks, the ones they brought everywhere.
The title, the inside jokes, the shared grocery store rewards cards—that kind of relationship.
Someone she could trust, someone who would put her first. I wanted her to see the guy who’d drop everything for her when she cried.
How could I get this cute nerd to see me as more than her ex’s best friend?
Emotionally, things between us needed to move a little faster. Progress was too slow.
An idea hit me like a hammer to the back of the head.
A fucking astounding idea. The kind of idea you have once in a lifetime.
I drummed my fingers on the table, thinking it through. It was an idea that could solve everything. I nodded along to the kid, yammering about his cat book, while I mentally put together a plan.
Tallulah had to stick around to talk to a few of the librarians.
There were a lot of terms thrown around about her paper, its specific requirements, proper formatting guidelines, the history of the library…
I didn’t understand most of it. Which was fine.
Tallulah was happy to geek out with them, and I’d do what needed to be done.
“Hey?” I approached another librarian, thumbing towards the one in spectacles who’d pushed me off to the kids. “Can you do me a favor? Can you tell that lady over there, I don’t know her name, that her grandson doesn’t need to show up?”
“Grandson?”
“Yeah. He’s, like, twenty-five? Six-foot-six?”
“Bethany doesn’t have any grandchildren. She doesn’t even have children.”
“She does. She walked over to me and whispered that he’s muscular and a doctor.”
“What the…?” Her eyes flickered between me, Tallulah, and the librarian. Understanding dawned across her face and she rolled her eyes. “The things she does for sign-ups.”
“I’ll be coming around on Tuesdays, okay? No need for her grandson to come around.”
She muttered under her breath and called over the other librarian, who was laughing for some reason. Whatever they wanted to discuss had nothing to do with me. I abandoned them at the first hint that Tallulah was ready to go.
She stood by the door, a shy smile on her lips. “Thank you for sticking around.”
“No worries. That’s me. I stick around.”
“What do you want for lunch? Burritos, or burgers, or…?”
“We’re going to sit down,” I said, directing her outside.
“Sit down? Like at a restaurant?”
“Yeah.”
“Why?”
“I want more time with you.”
Tallulah asked me where we were going but I was more focused on our upcoming conversation. The restaurant itself wasn’t important. The only thing I wanted was for us to be alone. I led Tallulah to a restaurant that didn’t look too busy, with dim mood lighting and intricate sculptures outside.
“We’re eating here?” Tallulah blanched. “I—I’m not dressed for this—”
“I’m not either.” I shrugged, holding up my fingers. “Table for two.”
Tallulah’s stammering followed us through the narrow hallways, lit by the glow of aquariums built into the walls. It was a seafood restaurant—I didn’t even notice. I was too busy building my plan. Stepping to the side, I pulled out Tallulah’s chair and waited for her to sit down.
“You’re not the only one with a bucket list,” I said nonchalantly.
“What?” Tallulah tilted to look at me, her hair cascading over my hand. “What do you mean?”
“Nah, can’t tell you.”
“Why not?”
I sat down too, shrugging. “Because you’ll laugh at me.”
“I wouldn’t laugh—”
“I don’t believe you.”
Her eyebrows knitted into the most adorable, concerned frown. “What kind of stuff is on your bucket list?”