36. Chapter Thirty Six Rhowyn
Chapter Thirty Six: Rhowyn
I woke up in the middle of the night, a soft glow from the lamp beside my bed keeping the room alight. I needed to pee, so I swung my legs from the bed slowly but fully on my own. After another round of healing before I had fallen asleep for the night, I was feeling better.
Granted, I was still moving slowly and in quite a bit of pain, but it wasn’t unbearable like before. I slowly shuffled to the bathroom, not wanting to wake up whichever guy stayed with me tonight. I passed out before we could decide who that would be.
I used the restroom and washed my hands, turning off the light as I left the bathroom.
“Why didn't you ask for help?” a growl sounded out, startling me, and causing me to gasp in pain at the sudden movement.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed.
A hand landed on my hip, steadying me as I recognized Callum in the dim light. I brushed his hand off, suddenly angry with him. “I didn't need any help.”
“Bullshit. I could feel your pain.”
“And yet, here I am, on my own two feet. Pain doesn't make me an invalid,” I snapped.
I placed a hand on my heart, hoping to slow the racing from the jump scare he had given me. I wasn't expecting Callum to be here with me, that was for sure. I would have thought it would be Baer or Arryn with the way they had tended to me all day. Or even Lennox, his worry evident through our bond, but not Callum.
“Where have you been?” I demanded, letting the hurt slip at his abandonment. I pulled it back quickly, but I saw it register on his face. Fuck . I didn't want his pity.
“I've been out,” he admitted more softly, reaching to help me again.
Something through the bond from him convinced me to allow him to help me, even though I didn't really need it. We shuffled back to the bed, where I sat down and glared up at him as he stood over me.
“That really tells me so much. I'm glad we could clear the air,” I said sarcastically.
He huffed and ran a hand through his hair, almost black in the shadows, though strands of it caught the light and looked like fire in the night. He dropped his hand and looked at me as if he was searching for something in my eyes or through the bond.
“Look, I have a lot weighing on me. Having you here. Being a consort. This has just added a whole new level of stress and I needed some space to get my head straight,” he finally admitted, though it still didn’t tell me much.
It was my turn to study him. Do I push him? He always seemed so angry at me, but that wasn’t the emotion I got from the bond. I couldn't quite place his emotions as they changed so rapidly, almost overwhelming me like waves crashing over my head, keeping me from gasping the air I desperately needed.
If this was how he was feeling now, then I could only imagine what it had been like before he got his head on straight . It was that thought alone that made up my mind to let the issue go. For now, at least.
“Okay,” I said, accepting his explanation. He seemed taken aback by that response, as if expecting me to push him. “I can understand the need for space. I was just worried.” I didn't admit to him that I was worried he regretted bonding to me. That he found me lacking in some way.
I knew I didn't need his acceptance in order to be happy or strong, but I couldn't help that I wanted it anyway. For some reason, I had been drawn to him, despite how much he angered me. I just wished things were easier between us.
I could sense that he was hurting, that he and I were alike in many ways, but I still knew very little about him. Anytime I tried to ask, the others got closed lipped about how it was his story to tell. But when would he finally trust me with that story, and how could I earn that trust?
“I didn't mean to worry you.” He stepped backward, finding a chair in the corner and sitting down.
I pulled my feet up into bed with me and glanced at the other side to see it hadn't been disturbed. “Wait.” I glanced at him sharply. “Have you been sleeping in the chair all night?”
“No,” he said succinctly.
“But...” I protested, but he cut me off.
“I've been sitting here, but I haven't been sleeping.”
“Why?” I asked, confused.
“Why what?”
“Why weren't you sleeping?” I hoped he might open up to me. That we might begin to bridge this gap between us.
He sighed, not saying a word. I huffed and slowly laid down on my side, still facing him. I closed my eyes and tried to go back to sleep, when he finally decided to answer me .
“After last night, I can't help but be afraid. The Queen is unstable, and I fear you have drawn more of her attention than I am comfortable with,” he admitted, a grimace twisting his lips.
“It's not like I meant to, you know. I didn't set out with the goal of let's piss off the crazy Queen .” I snarked.
He huffed at my sarcasm. “I know that. You'd have to be some kind of stupid to do that. Which, despite your naivety to our ways, you are not.”
“Aww. Thanks for that. I'm so glad you see that,” I replied sarcastically. I couldn't help it. It was my secret weapon for dealing with any emotions I didn't want to address.
He ignored my jibe and continued, “But I can't, for the life of me, figure out what started it. I watched you last night, and you didn't have that much to drink, so how did you fall into that servant?”
My brain got stuck on one fact that he probably hadn't meant to admit. “You were watching me?” I asked him.
“Yes. I was. If you must know, I watch everyone. You can only really know someone if you watch how they behave when they think no one is watching,” he growled, but I sensed the half-truth in his statement. “But you didn't answer my question. What happened?”
I frowned at that, thinking back to last night. Trying to remember what was happening before that moment where everything went sideways. “I was just standing there, talking with Baer, Lennox, and Arryn. I had just asked Baer when we could leave when the Queen stood to make her announcement that she was leaving the party.”
I gasped as I remembered. “Someone pushed me!” I told him. “I don't know who, before you ask. I was just trying not to fall on my face.”
It was his turn to scowl as if he was searching his own memory for who could have been around me. “Well, whoever it is, it's safe to assume that they intended something like that to happen.”
“Which means someone was trying to set me up,” I finished his thought. “I've known since that first night that someone was after me, but since they hadn't done anything else, I didn't think it was that big of a deal anymore.”
“What do you mean?” he questioned, leaning forward in his chair.
“Someone broke into my room. I had to throw a vase at them and threaten them with my knife. Didn't the guys tell you?” I asked, really thinking someone had told him.
“Oh. About that…” he trailed off, an almost sheepish look on his face.
“What?”
“That was me,” he said plainly.
“What!?” I sat up too quickly at that and grimaced in pain.
“I knew I had been selected as your consort, but I didn't know anything about you. I needed to learn more before I made myself known.”
“So, you decided to break into my room and threaten me?” I exclaimed.
“I didn't threaten you,” he stated defensively. “I simply searched through your things and was trying to get a look at you, when you woke up and then proceeded to threaten me.”
“As if that makes it okay?” Clearly, he didn't understand the violation.
“As I said before, I have a lot weighing on me, and it was important that I made an educated decision on what to do about the bond.” He continued trying to defend himself.
“Okay. It still doesn't make it right,” I told him before deciding to let it go. “What made you decide to step forward?” I asked him, genuinely puzzled about his reasons.
“Besides that I really didn't have a choice? It was the fact that you threatened me with a knife and then threw a vase at me.” He chuckled at that thought and I couldn't help the smile that tugged at my lips. “You were smart enough not to throw your knife and leave yourself defenseless. You were strong and cunning. So, I knew that you couldn't be the worst option I could have gotten as my Chosen.”
“Aww. Stop, Callum. You keep saying such sweet things and I think I just might swoon,” I said, teasing him. “So, this whole time, the guys have been staying with me, thinking someone had broken in and was a threat.” I said aloud to myself, amused that there hadn't been one all along. “Do the guys know it was you?” I asked him.
“No. I didn't think anything of it. I just thought you wanted them to stay with you,” he admitted. “Although now, I'm here because I truly believe there is an actual threat.”
“Yeah.” My thoughts turned to last night.
We both grew quiet, lost in our own thoughts. I was about to drift off again when I heard him speak again. “I'm glad it's you.”
“Hmm...?” I hummed in question, needing more clarification.
“I'm thankful that, of all the Chosen, it's you,” he said louder and with more conviction. “Seeing you up there last night, facing down the Queen, made me think that just maybe, there might be some hope for us all.”
“Why? In a couple of weeks, a new Queen will take the throne, right? So, it doesn't really matter all that much as long as this bitch is no longer Queen,” I asked him.
“That's the thing, though. I don't think she has any plans to actually step down.”
“What?! But she doesn't really have a choice, right?” I was sitting up again.
“If any Queen can hold onto her power, it will be Titania. She's more conniving and manipulative than any other being I've ever come across. She's got something in the works, I know it. She's too calm about these trials. There's no way she will give up the power she has and certainly not without a fight.”
Not sure how to respond to that, we sat there in thought. My mind started turning, and I couldn't help but worry about actually surviving the trials again. If the Queen was out to get me, then I didn't stand a chance. I was just a nobody, with barely any access to my magic, and she was the most powerful person in this realm.
“Shit. I'm screwed,” I said to myself, barely above a whisper.
“You don't know the half of it,” Callum replied, no malice in his tone, just fact.
A soft burn started across my shoulder, pulsing in my new Chosen tattoo and aggravating my wounds. I hissed in pain, my arm lifting to touch my burning shoulder.
“What is it?” Callum asked, standing to come to my side.
“My shoulder just started burning. Fuck. It hurts.”
“Shit!” he hissed, stomping out of the room, leaving me alone with my pain.
I felt the panic in my bonds, one by one before the guys rushed to my room. “It's not that bad, guys. I'll be okay,” I told them, not quite comfortable with the concern and fear I saw.
When they didn't reply, my own fear started to rise. “What? What is it?”
“Rhowyn,” Arryn started before fading off.
“The trials are starting,” Callum told me with a growl.
Fuck. We were so screwed.