54. Aspen
ASPEN
I so desperately want to believe him.
My entire being aches for him even though it shouldn’t. If I was well adjusted, I’d leave right now, snow or not, but I’m clearly a total emotional wreck because I still want him. My heart needs his love. My mind needs his stimulation. And my body craves his touch.
But I also want to hurt him.
I want him to feel the same pain I do.
“I fucked Levi,” I throw at him. “I had sex with your son, and I loved it.”
Maybe this information won’t hurt him. After all, it’s what he wanted, wasn’t it? It’s the whole reason he brought me here. But even so, I can tell my instincts are right. I’m guessing Blake had planned to be the first.
He jerks back as if slapped. “What?”
“I fought him off,” I tell him. “Levi wanted me to. He wanted me to fight him. I tried to get away, but he pinned me down, and tore off my pants, and fucked me from behind. He filled me with his cum, and then he made me lick our combined juices off his dick.”
Blake drags his hand over his face. “Jesus Christ, Pen.”
“Isn’t it what you want to hear? I did what you brought me here to do. I enjoyed it, too. Levi made me come so hard, I practically forgot my own name.” I stare at him. “I wonder if you’d have been able to make me climax that hard. I guess we’ll never know now.”
A muscle ticks beneath his left eye. “Don’t do this.”
“Don’t do what? Tell you how much your sons make me come, because I had Dov in my room last night, too. He fingered me in bed until I saw stars. So, you see, I’m being a good little girl and servicing your sons, just like you brought me here to do.”
I’m fully aware that he’s standing there shirtless, in only his gray sweatpants, and those sweatpants leave nothing to the imagination.
It might be fucked up, but I can see the way talking about how his sons have made me climax is turning him on.
His cock is so big that even the slightest start of an erection is painfully obvious.
“Levi said you planned to use me, too. That it wasn’t only him and Dov you brought me here for.”
He glances away, and I can tell it’s the truth.
“So why have you held yourself back?” I suddenly want to know. “Why haven’t you just taken me? Do I repulse you? Did you get too close and decide I just didn’t do it for you anymore?”
He shakes his head. “It’s not that, Pen. It’s because I really do care about you. I wish you could see that.”
“I don’t believe you,” I spit.
I’m a churning mass of contradictions. I don’t want to believe he brought me here to have sex with me—for his sons to have sex with me—yet I hate that he’s pushed me away.
What is it I even want?
Him. I want him despite his casual cruelty and his messed-up actions.
I need him so badly it’s a physical pain.
His rejection hurts more than anything else.
I’m burning with jealousy at the idea that other women have been here in my place before me.
They got to experience what it was like to be with these three men. Did they sleep in my room? In my bed?
“If you cared about me, you’d have wanted to fuck me, too.”
“Christ, I do,” he admits. “You can see how much I do.”
His hand goes to the front of his sweatpants, where he pulls back on the material so it outlines his erection.
The sight makes my mouth water and my pussy tingle and throb.
I let out a breathy cry, and my feet move forward without any conscious command from my brain.
I can’t stand for there to be so much space between us.
He drags his hand through his still-wet hair. “I was trying to do the right thing for once. Fuck.”
“What if the right thing was giving in to this… whatever this is between us.”
He closes his eyes briefly and shakes his head. “You’re killing me,” he groans. “I should never have brought you here.”
“But you did, and I’m thankful for that. Even if your reasons were stupendously fucked up. Like you said, where else would I have gone?”
“Windridge Hall is dangerous.”
Perhaps it is, but I don’t care. I don’t care about any of it, I realize, not even the part where Tobias got hurt.
In a purely selfish moment, I understand that I can put all of it to one side if it means I get Blake.
If I get Levi and Dov, too, well, all the better.
I have no idea how it will work with the four of us, all snowed in, but maybe we can make it.
He said I have a home here, and that’s all I’ve ever really wanted.
A place of my own, with people I care about.
Plus, they make me forget. The grief feels less when I’m with them, and even my anger at them is a welcome change from the never-ending sadness.
Perhaps I’m just self-destructive, but part of me wants to lose myself in this, even if it burns us all.
“I don’t care,” I admit.
“You should.”
I’m getting exasperated. “Why do you keep holding yourself back from this? We almost did it before, when I ran into you out in the woods.”
“That was a mistake. A moment of weakness. I shouldn’t have done it.”
“Yes, you should have. You want me and I want you. We’re both adults. What’s so wrong with it?”
He shakes his head. “I’m so much older. You’re my best friend’s little girl.”
“I’m not a little girl anymore, Blake. You said so yourself. I’m a grown woman.”
“Barely,” he says.
“Grown enough for you to lick my pussy the other day. Grown enough for me to suck your cock. Grown enough for you to hand me over to your sons.”
He growls. “They’re more your age.”
“I don’t care about age. Besides which, that’s still utterly fucked up. You’re not being morally good by not touching me yourself! You’ve already done far too much for that. You’ve lied, manipulated, and God knows what else, yet I still want you. Please, Blake.”
I take another step closer. I can practically feel his body heat radiating off him, can inhale the spice of whatever shower gel he’s just used.
Any embarrassment or self-consciousness I might have felt because I’d been worried about Blake only thinking of me like a little girl has dissipated.
How can I hold on to such fancies when I know the real reason he brought me here? How, for that matter, can he?
“I want you to fuck me so badly. My pussy is wet for you… Here.” I slip my hand inside my pants and into my panties. I slide my finger between my pussy lips, gathering up moisture. Then I draw it out for him to see.
“Wet,” I tell him. “Wet for you.”
I move closer still. There’s only a sliver of air between us now. I lift my wet finger to his face, hovering it right above his lips.
“You already know how I taste,” I murmur.
He lets out a low growl. “You’re so bad. Fucking temptress.”
Then he grabs my wrist and sucks my finger into his mouth. I resist the urge to punch the air in triumph.
“Let me tempt you,” I say on a breathy exhale.
He releases my finger, and I run my hand down the front of his body, over his hard abs, to squeeze his cock over the top of his sweatpants.
“Fuck it,” he growls.
In one swift move, he lifts me and throws me onto the bed.
He climbs on after me, straddling my hips.
His fingers find the hem of my shirt, and he yanks it up over my head, then makes swift work of my bra.
He pauses to duck his head to my breasts, sucking one nipple into his mouth before going to the other.
A quick repositioning allows him to yank my pants down my legs, taking my panties with it.
I fumble for him, too, pulling his sweatpants down his hips, freeing his cock.
He isn’t wearing any underwear. He kicks off the clothing.
This is the first time I’ve seen him fully naked.
He truly is a masterpiece. So thick with muscle, with a smattering of hair across his chest. It’s a real man’s body, and I don’t think I’ll ever get enough.
He covers me with his body, his hand tracing the shape of my curves, his mouth kissing and licking and biting.
I sense his desperation for me. It’s as though he’s worried if he thinks about what’s happening for too long, he won’t go through with it.
I don’t want that. I want him, need him, with every fiber of my being.
I can’t let us go back to that limbo of not knowing how to be around each other.
I want him to be able to touch me whenever he wants, to kiss me, and hold my hand.
I want to be able to curl up beside him in bed, and sleep, knowing he’s protecting me.
Wrapping my legs around his hips, I draw him closer. He moves back up my body, and finally, his lips find mine. One of my hands grips his shoulder, my nails digging into his muscles, while the other reaches between us to wrap around his cock, guiding him into me.
I gasp as the thickness of his cockhead presses against my pussy. The head of his cock enters me, stretching me, but he meets resistance.
“Fuck, sweet girl,” he growls. “You’re so fucking tight.”
He’s so thick and big, I don’t think he’s going to fit inside me. I’m soaking wet, so it’s not lubrication that’s the issue. It’s just the sheer size of him.
He rakes his fingers through my hair. “You’re tensing up. I can feel your pussy clenching down on me. You need to relax if you’re going to take me.”
“I’m trying,” I whimper.
He pauses in his attempt to drive inside me and kisses me instead.
His tongue tangles with mine and traces every inch of my mouth.
It’s impossible to completely forget the giant cock stretching my pussy, but I understand what he’s doing.
Blake knows how to kiss. He’s so huge and masculine.
His beard scrapes my skin. The scent of him surrounds me.
He nudges his hips again and sinks in another inch. I snatch a breath and claw my nails into his powerful shoulders.
“Oh, God, Blake. I can’t.”
He brushes our noses together and rests his forehead on mine, looking deep into my eyes.
“I know, sweet girl. This isn’t easy, but baby, you feel so good already. I need to be deep inside you, feel you around me. Would it help if you could see?”
“I—I don’t know.”
“Let’s try.”
He shifts his position, bringing himself up onto his knees, and grabs my hips to lift me with him.
I’m still on my back, but now my pussy and ass are lifted, and my feet are hooked around his torso, my heels pressing into the solid muscle of his back.
Somehow, he’s managed to stay those couple of inches inside me the whole time.
“Sit up a little,” he says.
I prop myself up onto my elbows so I can see between my legs, to the place where our bodies are joined. I’m soaking wet, the insides of my thighs damp.
I widen my eyes. “Holy fuck.”
“You see, sweet girl. Your body is designed for this. Your beautiful, tight pussy will take all of me, and then I’m going to make you feel so good.”
“You’re just so big…”
“You trust me, don’t you?”
I shouldn’t, not after everything, but with this, I do.
“Yes, Blake, I trust you.”
“That’s my good girl. Because my cock is about to fill you up.”
He slides deeper, and a frantic moan escapes my lips. I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s as though I’m on the brink of something, but I don’t know what. I can feel him stretching me. He thumbs my clit, and I gasp again.
“Oh, Blake.” I fall back, my shoulders hitting the bed.
As hot as it was to watch him entering me, I don’t think I can take much more.
His expression is one of deep concentration, and he drives even deeper, keeping the pressure on my clit.
He doesn’t rub or flick, just gives me something else to focus on other than the stretching and fullness happening inside me. The invasion of my body with his.
“Oh, fuck, baby. I’m almost there, you’ve almost taken all of me. Look.”
“I can’t.”
His tone changes. “I said look at us, Pen.”
I prop myself back up and peer between my thighs.
He’s jammed balls deep now, my pussy stretched fully around him.
It almost looks as though someone has their entire wrist inside me.
I’m so full—my pussy is heavy with the weight of his cock.
We both pause, absorbing the moment. I have him inside me, finally, this man I’ve been craving for so long.
I fall back. “Oh, Christ.”
He starts to move inside me, slowly at first, but increasing his pace. These past few weeks have been building to this moment, and we’re both needy and desperate for it. We rut together, frantic, our breathing growing heavier, the sounds of our cries and our skin slapping together filling the room.
I try to turn my face away, throw my arm across my eyes so I can hide from him as I come, but he grabs my hand and pulls it away.
“I want to see you when you climax. I want to watch your tits bounce and your expression as the pleasure floods across it. I want to memorize every second. Let me hear it, too.”
He scoops me up against him, my breasts against his chest as he fucks into me.
Little cries of ‘ah, ah, ah’ escape my mouth.
I’m so wet, it’s dripping all down my thighs and slicking his cock.
I’m completely lost in the sensation of my father’s best friend fucking me hard, and I know I wouldn’t be able to stop this if I tried.
“I’m going to come soon,” he tells me, his breath hot against my ear. “There’s a lot of it. Don’t be alarmed.”
“Give it to me!” I moan. “I want your cum inside me.”
“That’s it, sweet girl. Let me fill you up.”
He rams himself deep, and I shatter. “Fuck, fuck… Oh, God, fuck…”
Pleasure expands through me like tremors from an earthquake, spreading from my core, out through my body, right down to the tips of my finger and my toes.
My vision blurs, and I squeeze my eyes shut, sparks appearing on the backs of my lids.
I shudder and shake, and Blake gives a low grunt and empties himself inside me with powerful jerks and thrusts.
Our chests heave against one another’s as we catch our breath.
Blake sweeps my hair from my shoulder and kisses my skin.
Stupidly, I feel like I might cry, and I fight away the display of emotion, sensing it wouldn’t go down well.
He’d think he’d done the wrong thing, and I can’t go back to that again.
“Blake?” I say instead.
He lifts his head to look me in the face. “Yes, sweet girl?”
“I think I’d like to stay, if that’s okay with you?”
He presses a kiss to my lips. “You’re staying. There was never really any other choice.”