55. Aspen
ASPEN
Over the next few days, we’re all in a better place. Despite the revelation about the reason I was brought to Windridge Hall, I discover I don’t exactly mind. We fall into an easier routine, more comfortable around each other now that everything is out in the open.
Blake wraps his arm around my waist in the kitchen in the morning, kissing my cheek like we’re an old married couple.
Levi catches me alone in the hallways and grabs both hands and pins me up against the wall when he wants to take something from me.
Dov is still keeping his distance, but I sense him around, watching me.
The snow is heavier now. I don’t dare ask if the mountain pass is closed yet. If it isn’t, then it will be soon. Not that I have any plans to go anywhere. I’m right where I want to be.
I finish getting dressed and pick up one of my cheap, beaded bracelets from my nightstand that I’d taken off when I’d gone to bed the previous night.
I roll it over my wrist, and, out of the corner of my eye, the little stick doll Dov made me seems to flip over as though someone has flicked it.
It slides off the nightstand and onto the floor.
As I stand there, staring at where it’s landed, I’d swear the temperature of the room drops by several degrees. The skin on my arms prickles with goosebumps, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end.
What the hell just happened?
Had I knocked the doll when I’d picked up the bracelet? I must have, but I could have sworn the damn thing just jumped off the nightstand of its own accord.
With a trembling hand, I duck down to pick it up.
Something else on my bedroom floor catches my eye. It’s caught between two floorboards, and almost beneath the bed, so it’s not immediately obvious, but it’s caught the light.
I pick it up between pinched fingers and lift it to my eye-line. My heart is pattering now, my breath growing short.
It’s Tobias’s Saint Christopher necklace.
What’s it doing here? The chain has broken as though it’s been yanked off his throat.
I examine it further and, at first, I think there’s rust on the gold, though that’s impossible.
Gold doesn’t rust. But then I rub it between my thumb and forefinger, and it changes shade.
It's not rust; it’s blood.
The blood must be from his head injury. It makes sense. But the sight of the broken chain and the blood combined twists my insides. He always wears that Saint Christopher. Patron saint of travelers.
The broken chain is a sign of a struggle, and I know with certainty that it didn’t happen when I kicked him off the bed. Yes, he’d hit his head, but that wouldn’t have caused the chain to break. It would have taken some force to snap—the gold is solid and he’d had it for years.
Another question enters my head. Why didn't I hear anything the night of Tobias's death?
I'd been lying in the same room, only a few feet from where he'd apparently died.
And then Blake and Levi had come into my room, somehow knowing what had happened, and had removed Tobias's body.
How was such a thing even possible without me knowing about it?
Surely I would have heard something. Admittedly, Tobias wasn't as physically big as Blake or even Levi, but he was still a grown man.
Plus, I'd thought I'd been restless that night.
After the fight I had with Tobias, I should have been fitful during my sleep. But instead, it was as though I closed my eyes and everything had gone blank until morning. I realize that's not the first time this has happened.
Some nights, I've lain awake, tossing and turning until the sun peeped through the drapes. Other nights, I've been out for the count.
Is it just on those nights I've been particularly exhausted when my head hit the pillow? Or is something else—something more nefarious—at play? I don't like to give thought to what, but still, it's got the cogs in my brain whirring.
Is there a reason for the difference? Even when I feel I’ve slept soundly, some mornings my head has still felt foggy and I’m more tired than I should be. I’d put it down to grief, but what if it’s because of something else entirely?
I glance over at the water glass I always keep beside my bed. I top it up throughout the day and sometimes during the night. I always drink the water the glass contains, just switching out the glass when it gets dirty.
Has someone been putting something in my water?
It would have to be something tasteless, but it would make sense. When they’ve wanted me unconscious, they’d drugged my water, knowing I would drink it.
The sudden certainty sickens me. A rush of hot washes over me, prickling my skin with sweat, followed by an icy wave of cold.
I need to know the truth.
With the broken chain still clutched in my palm, I run from the room.
I mentally calculate where I’m likely to find Blake at this time.
Only a couple of weeks ago, he’d have been outside somewhere, most likely working on the exterior of the hotel, but now the snow and cold weather make that impossible.
I fly through the corridors, breathing hard, my body feeling like it doesn’t belong to me.
Finally, I find him working on the cornices in one of the rear rooms of the hotel.
He throws me that gorgeous smile, and my heart breaks.
“Morning, sweet girl.”
“Did someone drug my water the night Tobias died?” I blurt.
He freezes. “What?”
“Have they drugged me before? Is that why I can’t remember things on certain nights?”
Blake covers his face with his hands. “Shit, Pen. I didn’t know Dov had been doing that. He must have been using his meds.”
“Why?” I cry. “Why would he do that?”
“For the exact reason you’ve just said. So you won’t remember.”
“What happened the night Tobais died?” I hold out the Saint Christopher. “I found this. It was Tobias’s. The chain is broken, and I know I didn’t do it. For once in your life, tell me the truth. Did he really die from a bleeding scalp?”
Blake shakes his head. “It was Dov.”
“What?”
“You saw his cameras. You know he has one in your room, pointed at your bed. He hadn’t known Tobias was coming, of course, so he’d already drugged your water so he could pay you a visit that night.
Then he saw Tobias was in your bed instead.
He watched what happened on the monitors.
By the time he reached you, you’d already passed out.
He was furious, Pen. You have to understand that the reason we keep Dov hidden is because he can’t control himself.
He was the one who… put an end to Tobias. ”
My head is spinning. “Dov killed Tobias?”
“For trying to rape you.”
Something else occurs to me. The world feels like it’s pulling away at the edges. A buzzing sounds in my ears.
No, no, no…
I struggle to speak. “Y—You let me believe I’d been the one responsible. You let me think I’d murdered my boyfriend!”
“He was never your boyfriend, and I said it was an accident, not murder.”
“Like that makes a difference!”
“If you’d known what really happened, you’d have left. You might have gone to the police and told them about Dov, and then we’d have them on our doorstep, and we’d have all ended up behind bars. Is that what you want?”
I’m shaking hard. My chin judders. The world is glassy with unshed tears. “Don’t fucking guilt me into agreeing what you did was right. You’re fucked up! All of you. Maybe you should all end up behind bars.”
“Please, Pen. Don’t do this.”
I throw up my hands. “Do what? Talk about the truth? I’m not sure you even know how to be honest anymore, Blake.
Seriously. It’s like everything that comes out of your mouth is a lie, and you don’t even realize it.
You tell yourself your version of events and somehow convince yourself that you’re right.
I thought it was bad enough that you brought me here as a fuck toy for you and your sons, but somehow I managed to get past that.
Probably because I’m desperate and broken, and you saw that, didn’t you?
Now this? Allowing your son to drug me so he could come into my room at night?
How did any of you know those drugs wouldn’t kill me?
You’re sick. Making me believe a lie that changed something inside me…
” I punch my fist to my chest. “That’s unforgiveable. ”
“I’m sorry, Pen.”
I don’t even want to look at him.
Rage and betrayal and heartbreak build up inside me. How could they have done this to me? All three of them are complicit. All I wanted was a home and people to love, and they broke me.
They fucking broke me.
“Fuck you!” I scream. “Fuck you and your sorry.”
I spin on my heel and run from the room, heading back through the hotel, aiming for the front door.
I pray I don’t run into anyone. I can’t bear the thought of coming across Levi or Dov.
My brain tries to make sense of it all.
Dov murdered Tobias.
Tobias had tried to rape me.
Dov was protecting me.
But Dov is a killer. He’s dangerous.
And he’s been drugging me.
I can’t stay here anymore.
I should have left a long time ago.
The snow is coming down, and if I don’t get out soon, I’ll definitely be trapped here with these men. These men who lie and murder and who want to use my body for their own entertainment over the dark months of winter.
I don’t have a vehicle of my own, so I’ve been left with no other choice than to take Blake’s old Range Rover.
He’s already put snow chains on the tires.
It occurs to me that I’ll be leaving them here without a car, but then I remember Tobias’s vehicle hidden in the shed in the woods, assuming they haven’t broken it into pieces already.
If they get desperate, they’ll have to use that, though I doubt it will cope well in either the snow or the mountain terrain.
Any guilt or empathy I might feel at leaving them with an unsuitable car vanishes along with my belief that any of them gave a shit about me as a person.
Tears stream down my cheeks.