CHAPTER 19
Zeke
“This is a first,” Jamie said when I walked into the diner that morning. She was already sitting at our favorite table, sipping apple juice. “I was surprised to get the text last night.”
In an effort to avoid her feeling the stress that was a living, breathing thing inside my house, I had shot Jamie a text last night letting her know I had an early meeting and that I would meet her at the diner.
While I could’ve forgone breakfast altogether, I hadn’t wanted to miss the opportunity to spend time with her.
There were too many excuses one could come up with not to spend time with those they loved.
I wasn’t about to make up one at this point.
“Sorry,” I said as I took a seat across from her. “Busy at work. Got a day full of interviews.”
Jamie stared back at me, and it was obvious she didn’t buy my bullshit.
“Or you didn’t want me to have a chance to talk to your toys,” she stated, her tone curious but not quite questioning.
I kept my expression masked. The last thing I wanted was for Jamie to worry about me.
She might’ve been my kid sister, but I knew she worried about me as much as I worried about her.
And after the debacle with my ex four years ago, she was always touchy when she thought I might be getting close to someone.
Not that I had. Not before the fuck toys and not now.
“So, how’s school?” I asked after the waitress had delivered my coffee and confirmed my order.
“Good.”
Of course it was.
“I have a question for you,” she finally stated after a few minutes of strained silence.
“What’s that?”
“Have you ever wondered why someone would need the pain you dish out?”
Okay. Wow. If she’d meant to shock me, she certainly achieved her goal.
I frowned as I sipped my coffee. To be honest, I hadn’t thought Jamie knew all that much about my …
kink. Sure, she knew I went to clubs, and she knew I was into BDSM, but I hadn’t been aware that she knew of my desire to hurt people.
“And I’m not being judgmental, Zeke,” she clarified. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your sadistic side.”
“Is that the psychologist speaking? Or my sister?”
“Both,” she said with a grin. “And yes, I’ve wondered what makes you tick. Why you get pleasure from … doing what you do.”
At least she was mindful of the others around us. Not everyone was okay with hearing that someone wanted to beat on someone else. I’d had people accuse me of being abusive, but that wasn’t the case. I didn’t go around hitting people for the hell of it. And I never hit someone out of anger. Never.
“But I’m even more curious as to why someone would need it from you.” There wasn’t any accusation in her tone or her gaze. “Are people born that way? Or does their past mold them, make them desire it?”
I took another sip of my coffee. “Couldn’t say. I don’t have the desire to be hit.”
“Nor do I,” she said with a grin. “Although I wouldn’t mind being spanked.”
“Okay.” I set my coffee cup on the table. “That’s TMI, my dear sister. Please don’t sit here and tell me that shit.”
Jamie laughed, and I suspected she enjoyed getting a rise out of me. “Fine. I won’t tell you. But have you ever wondered about the masochists you play with? What drives them? Why they need what they need?”
“No.” And I wasn’t about to start now.
“Liar.” She giggled again and took a sip of her juice. “You might want everyone else to believe you’re a hard-core badass, but I know you, Zeke. I know that you have a soft, mushy center.”
I frowned. “Now you’re just being a brat.” It was time to change the subject. “Have you talked to Edge?”
Her face flushed. “Yes. I have.”
“And…?”
“And what? If we’re not going to talk about your kinks, we’re certainly not gonna talk about mine.”
I didn’t want to believe my sister had kinks, but I didn’t say as much. Thank God the waitress opted to bring our food because the mere thought of Jamie and Edge together … yeah, I’d rather dig into my own psyche than think about that shit.
I got the feeling today wasn’t going to be a good day.
*
“What do you think of the three we’ve talked to already?” I asked Ben as we sat at the conference room table after having spent an hour talking to one of the many interviewees scheduled for today.
“I don’t think Mark’s going to be what we’re looking for,” Ben explained. “As for the last two, I don’t see any major issues. You?”
“Mark’s out of contention,” I replied as I set that resume aside before glancing over Lance Douglas’s. “I’m worried Lance needs more handholding than I’m willing to give.”
“Good point,” Ben conceded. “I can see that.” His eyes dropped to the copy of the kid’s resume. “He’s got quite the education, but not a lot of experience in the corporate world. Could require some molding to get where we need him to be.”
This was the part I hated about hiring people.
It wasn’t necessarily the interviews, more so narrowing it down to who would be the right fit.
You picked the wrong person and you were stuck with them, perhaps indefinitely.
After all, you couldn’t necessarily fire them for being a whiny asshole, especially if they were good at their job.
I’d done my fair share of hiring over the years, and it all boiled down to who was capable of excelling without needing someone there to walk them through every step.
Training was one thing, being their mother was something else.
“Thoughts on Heather?” I prompted. “I think she’s got what it takes.”
“Agree. She lacks a lot of experience, but she’s got quite the attention to detail.”
The conference room door opened, and Justin strolled in. “Any luck?”
“A couple of possibilities,” I told him. “I’m willing to call Heather and offer her the job if you’re both in agreement. Mark’s off the list, but I’ll keep Lance in the running. This afternoon’s applicants will be here shortly. We’ve got Chris Cavanaugh, the guy Edge referred, coming in at three.”
Justin peered over at Ben, who nodded his agreement.
“Good,” Justin stated. “Then I’m going to borrow my pup here for a little while.”
I smirked. “I’ll meet you back here in forty-five minutes?”
“I’ll make sure he returns in one piece,” Justin promised.
“As long as he can walk,” I added with a chuckle.
Justin grinned from ear to ear. “Walk, yes. Sit down? Well, that’s to be determined.”
The two men left the conference room, and I sat there staring at the resumes on the table, although I wasn’t really seeing them. My mind was on the two masochists who had successfully pissed me off to no end.
I’d made the cowboy and the pretty boy stay home today. In fact, I’d kept my distance from them since my scene with Brax and the fucking machine yesterday afternoon.
I still couldn’t believe I’d kissed him.
Not that I was opposed to kissing, but like aftercare, it gave a submissive the wrong impression.
The worst part was I had enjoyed it immensely.
It had been a damn long time since I’d slowed down enough to find that little bit of intimacy.
Four years, to be exact. I hadn’t kissed a man in four fucking years.
And while I told him it meant nothing, I knew better.
If it didn’t mean anything, I wouldn’t have thought about it endlessly since.
But I refused to give in to them. In fact, I was considering kicking them to the curb tonight when I got home.
I didn’t need this fucking hassle. I enjoyed what we had going on, but evidently, they were both seeing more than there was.
Which surprised me, considering the short time we’d been together.
The cowboy, being jealous of the pretty boy spending time with me, was a big red flag.
I wasn’t going to spend my time drawing up a timeline so that I fucked them equally.
That wasn’t how I operated. If they wanted that shit, they could find some baby Dom who wanted to smack them around a little and cuddle them after.
They’d said they understood what this was, but I was beginning to doubt that.
“Zeke Lautner daydreamin’. Never thought I’d see the day.”
I peered up at Langston as he stepped into the conference room. “Shouldn’t you be working?”
“Takin’ a break, actually. Landon’s got Luci in his office. I was givin’ them a little private time. All that yellin’ was distractin’ me, so I opted to come up here.”
“Yelling? Landon or Luci?”
Langston chuckled. “This time it was Luci. From what I gather, the little brat put salt in Landon’s coffee this mornin’.”
“Ah. She’s graduated to being a brat, eh?”
“Looks that way. We’re gonna take her to the club tonight. String her up and show her the error of her ways.”
“So, you reward her for her insubordination?”
“She’s not like your boys,” Langston said. “She doesn’t particularly care for the pain.”
“Fuck toys,” I corrected.
Langston nodded slightly. “My apologies. Your fuck toys,” he corrected. “How are they, anyway?”
I shrugged and stared out the window. “I’m thinking it’s time to cut them loose.”
“Yeah? They do somethin’ wrong?”
“They’re getting too attached.”
“Translated to mean you’re tired of them,” Langston stated, his tone serious.
“No. Actually, that’s not the case at all.
” Which surprised the hell out of me. I’d spent a solid week with them.
I should’ve been ready to move on, but I found I wasn’t.
Even after the drama from yesterday, I didn’t relish the idea of sending them on their way.
I wanted to say that was due to the fact there were two of them.
That broke up the monotony rather well. I had a million more scenes already planned out in my mind, and I’d been looking forward to taking it one day at a time.
“You goin’ to the club tonight?” Langston asked.
“Not sure yet.”
“You talk to Greg lately?”
Langston’s sudden topic change caught me by surprise. “No. Why?”
“Rumor has it he’s bringin’ a submissive to the club on a guest pass.”
“When?”