CHAPTER 19 #2
“Tonight.” Langston drummed his fingers on the table. “Found that interesting.”
It was obvious Langston was fishing. I wasn’t going to fall for the bait. “News to me.”
Langston grinned. “Yeah? I talked to Ransom yesterday.”
“Spit it out, Moore.”
Langston appeared unfazed by my gruff command. “I’m pretty sure you and this submissive have a last name in common.”
“Well, if that’s the case, I guess you’ve got your answer as to whether or not I’ll be at the club.”
The man sobered somewhat. “She’s in good hands, Lautner.”
“I know. That was why I asked him to show her around. Give her a taste.”
“You don’t think it’ll stick, do ya? You’re hopin’ he’ll scare her off?”
“I don’t want Jamie going to one of those shit hole clubs. That’s the only reason I asked him.”
“Smart.”
I wasn’t sure about that. Allowing my baby sister into the club was a gamble.
Perhaps she was more in tune with her desires than I wanted to believe.
It was possible she was a true submissive.
Which meant, once she got a taste of it, she might not be able to walk away.
I could only hope Greg took care of her.
Otherwise, the man would be walking with a limp.
A knock sounded on the door behind me. I spun my chair around as I called for the person to enter.
Dale appeared. “Mr. Lautner, your one o’clock is here.”
I glanced at my watch. It was only twelve thirty. “They can wait. Once Ben comes back, you can send them in.”
“Sure thing.” He disappeared as fast as he had appeared.
“Any potential in the pool?” Langston asked when Dale closed the door.
“A little.” I wasn’t about to tell him I was having a hard time focusing on these damn interviews because my mind was back at my house with the fuck toys who had somehow changed the game on me.
Despite my better judgment, I couldn’t help but wonder what it was they were doing.
And whether or not they were thinking of me while they did it.
Brax (the cowboy)
“We’re gonna have to talk about this, Brax,” Case said for the two-dozenth time.
Ever chopped vegetables? For me, this was therapeutic. Taking my time, focusing on the little things. That was how I grounded myself, remained in the here and now. Unless, of course, someone wanted to chat. At that point, focusing was nearly impossible.
“There’s nothin’ to talk about,” I answered, exactly as I had every time he’d mentioned it since yesterday afternoon when he came home to find me strapped to a table with a machine gearing up to make me come.
Case sighed heavily and flopped onto the couch. I spared him a quick glance. He was swiping his phone repeatedly, as though scrolling through images. I had no idea what he was doing, but he’d been at it for a while.
“So, I’ve been lookin’ for a place,” Case prompted after a few minutes of blessed silence. “I think I might’ve narrowed it down to a few. Not easy when I don’t know anything about the area, but I think we should go look at ’em today.”
My gaze shot over the kitchen island to where Case was sprawled on the couch, one leg up, one leg down. He appeared casual, but I knew better. He was as stressed as I was. “What? We’re not… No, Case.”
I heard the rustle of the leather cushions as he got to his feet.
“Look. I think Zeke’s probably ready for us to go.
So, while we’re lookin’ for a place, we should go back to the apartment for a while.
Let’s hire some people to move our things in, and we can check out these places.
If any of them strike our fancy, we can put in an offer.
Be in our own house in a month and a half, tops. ”
I shook my head and turned my attention back to the meal I was prepping for tonight. “In case you forgot, you had a panic attack when we went into that apartment.”
“I hear ya,” Case replied. “But I’m all better now. I’m sure it was just an overreaction on my part.”
Yeah, right. Case wasn’t prone to overreacting. I stared at him as he neared. I was still curious as to what had prompted that panic attack. Something had triggered it, but I didn’t know what. Never in all the time I’d known him had he had that sort of reaction to anything.
“We’re not goin’ back to the apartment,” I stated firmly. “I say we stay put for now.”
“What are you makin’?” he asked as he sidestepped the island, moving closer.
“Mustard-crusted boneless prime rib roast with cream sauce,” I told him, although I knew he didn’t want the specifics. The only thing he would’ve caught from that was prime rib.
Case’s hand curled around my bicep, and he tugged me around so I was forced to look at him. Placing the knife on the counter and picking up the hand towel, I gave him my full attention.
“What happened yesterday, Brax … in the basement… I heard what you told Zeke.” He cupped my face and my chest constricted. “It’s not true. I don’t want Zeke more than you. I don’t even want him as much as I want you.”
My eyes focused on the center of his chest. I couldn’t look him in the eye because I was embarrassed enough that I’d found myself in that position.
Not that I had an issue with the scene. That damn fucking machine had done a number on me and not in a bad way.
However, the fact that I’d broken down and admitted something so stupid still caused my cheeks to warm.
We’d officially been with Zeke for one week, and for some stupid reason, I was allowing things to move too quickly. What I said to Zeke was true, but I should’ve kept it to myself. I had no right to fuck this up for the three of us because of petty jealousy.
“Babe, I think it’s time we did our own thing again,” Case said. “This isn’t working.”
“But it is,” I countered. “I know it is, Case. I see the way you look at Zeke, and I know what you need from him.”
He frowned, his dark eyebrows shooting downward. “What do you mean, the way I look at him? I don’t look at him any way. He’s just a man who can… Regardless, that’s not what I want from him.”
I sighed, resting my ass against the countertop. “I get it, Case. I really do. Zeke’s an enigma. He’s the Prince of Darkness, and he can give you things no one else can. You want to explore this with him, to see where it might lead.”
Case jerked away from me and ran his hand over his short hair. “That’s not true. I can get what I need from—”
“Anyone but me,” I said, cutting off whatever lie he was going to tell me.
I couldn’t hide the sadness in my tone. “But I knew that going into it, Case. Zeke was right. It wasn’t fair for me to get all butt-hurt over it.
He’s givin’ us what we asked for. It isn’t my place to ask for more, and I damn sure shouldn’t be jealous. ”
Case turned back to look at me, something akin to grief written on his face. “This is what I didn’t want to happen, Brax.”
“I know. And that’s on me.” I motioned toward the food I was preparing. “Which is why I’ll just focus on cooking for the two of you and … we’ll figure it out from there. I just need to take a step back.”
That much was true. I really did need to take a step back, to look at this objectively.
Unfortunately, my emotions had always run hot.
I was quick to get into relationships of any kind.
Friends, lovers. I’d been accused of caring more than I should.
And I couldn’t deny that I did care about Zeke. Far more than he wanted me to.
“You wanna take a step back from me?” Case blurted, his eyes rounding as though horrified by my response.
“No.” I stepped forward, needing to reassure him. “Not from you. From … the situation. I have to look at it objectively. Without emotion.” I dropped my eyes to his chest. “But that’s hard for me.”
This time when Case cupped my face, I leaned into his hand. I needed his touch. It grounded me in ways I’d never experienced before him.
“I’m not good at this,” I admitted. “I want to be, but I’m not.”
Some people had the ability to shut off their emotions when it came to sex.
I wasn’t one of those people. While I tried to remain disconnected, to look at the situation with Zeke dispassionately, I found myself getting in deeper and deeper.
When I looked at Zeke, I didn’t just see the hardened Sadist. I saw the man, and beneath that rough, intimidating exterior, Zeke Lautner was still just a man.
I was drawn to him, curious about what made him tick. Did I want more time with him? Yes. Did I want him to spend less time focusing on Case? No. I just needed to learn how to deal with it.
“Neither am I,” Case stated firmly. “Which is why I say we just go back to the apartment and forget all of it. We can even take a break from the club for a while.”
I huffed a laugh, but the pain that consumed me wasn’t funny in any way.
“No, Case. That’s not fair to you or me, and it’s not fair …
it’s not fair to Zeke. We agreed to see this through the same way he did.
I get that he’s a badass, and he acts like nothing matters to him, but I know better.
He needs as much from us as we need from him. ”
And I was convinced of that. Otherwise, Zeke wouldn’t have invited us into his home. He certainly wasn’t the type of man who allowed people to see into his world. Not willingly.
Case didn’t respond. His light green eyes never wavered from my face.
I could see his concern, but I could also see the hope.
He didn’t want what he was offering. He didn’t want to go back to that apartment or anywhere, for that matter.
Case needed what Zeke was giving him. It settled that wild part of him.
And I honestly believed that Zeke needed it, too.
He could tell us all day long that he wasn’t in it for friendship, but I didn’t believe that.
Perhaps he wasn’t looking to fall in love, but at the very least, he needed us to see this through. Not to turn our backs on him.
“When he gets home tonight, I fully intend to apologize,” I told Case. “I’m gonna own up to my mistake and ask for his forgiveness.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Case’s tone was threaded with pain. “I want you to be happy. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“I know that.” I pulled him into me. “And that’s all I ever wanted for you, too.”
I pressed my lips to his, sighing at the comfort I felt in his arms. This man made me feel things I’d never felt before. The same way Zeke made me feel things.
And yes, I was man enough to acknowledge that I was jealous of what I’d witnessed.
But the more I thought about it, the more I realized I wasn’t simply jealous of the way Case opened up to Zeke.
I was also jealous of the attachment Zeke seemed to form with him.
I wanted that. For whatever reason, I wanted Zeke to want me the same way.
Perhaps it made me a glutton for punishment, or maybe it simply made me human. I didn’t know. However, it was the truth.
And the only way for us to move forward was for me to own up to what I did. To admit it to Zeke and promise to remember our original agreement going forward.
Whatever we were doing here—the three of us—it wasn’t time for it to end. I got the weird feeling there was a lot more in store for us. And I had to see it through.
Not just for Case and Zeke.
But also for myself.