Chapter 17
Caeo
My key clicks and the door squeaks as I push it open. It catches, forcing me to shoulder it the rest of the way. The wood’s probably warped from all the rain lately.
“I’m home,” I call, shoving the door shut behind me. My bag hits the ground with a thud, then I sit on one of our beat-up chairs and kick my shoes off.
Another delivery done. I stretch out my exhausted limbs.
Despite how overworked I’ve been, I haven’t felt the need for long leaf lately—I’m tired, but things don’t feel quite as heavy as they used to. I am significantly hungrier than normal, but unfortunately, the kitchen’s pretty sparse right now.
I suppose I could get started on my tactics paper: Fae Curses. Could be interesting.
My ability with incanting hasn’t improved in the slightest, so getting decent marks in the more mundane subjects is my best chance at not failing out.
It surprised me when I realized I cared about that recently.
There’s even an ache in my chest when I think about dropping out, like I’d miss out on belonging to something bigger than myself.
But more than that, there’s this urge to be better than I am. Like I actually could, for once.
I’ve just opened my textbook when my mother hobbles in. She kisses my forehead before sitting next to me, resting her hand on mine. “Thank you for making that delivery. I’m not overworking you, am I?”
Ever since the night of the ball when I blacked out from long leaf, she’s been extra concerned about my well-being. “I’m fine. Life’s been better lately.”
She brings her hand to my collar, and I flinch away. “You’re missing a button,” she says.
“Yeah, not sure when that happened.” I’ll have to get it fixed before I wear this shirt again. Stupid rules of propriety.
Mother smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “I wanted to talk to you about something.”
That can’t be good. I drop my pen and give her more of my attention.
“I think it’s time we moved on from Haven,” she says.
That gets my full attention. “What? Why?”
Her mouth quirks. “We’re here partly because Haven always has work for seamstresses, and because the Academy could provide opportunities for your future. We wouldn’t have been able to afford your room and board if we’d lived anywhere else.”
“And I’m going there now. So why leave?”
Her face wrinkles as she tilts her head and gives me half a smile. “Do you honestly think you’ll make it to your second year?”
Ouch. She’s not mincing words today, is she?
My jaw tightens, not wanting to give her the satisfaction of an answer. But it doesn’t matter; she knows she’s right.
She sighs. “Perhaps a fresh start somewhere else would be good for you.”
Something nags at the back of my mind—a reason to stay—but I can’t form what it is. The only thing I can think of is Reid, but he’s flourishing at the Academy. Leaving me behind.
But with my mother’s eyes boring into me, I don’t want to admit I have nothing.
She squeezes my hand. “Think about it. You don’t have to decide today, but I truly believe leaving would be for the best. A new life, far away from here, where you can find who you’re meant to be.”
That could be nice. I never did feel like I fit in around here, and it’s not like we’d end up anywhere worse than a shack that’s slowly losing all its color.
I pick up my pen with significantly less motivation to write my paper.
* * *
The second bell chimes as I sprint to my water incanting class. Late again. To my surprise, Reid leans outside the classroom door, arms folded with a scowl on his face.
“You had to be late,” he grumbles. “Now I’m late, too.”
I catch my breath before answering. “What’s going on?”
“Just meet me for lunch. I’ll pay.” He pushes off the wall, then storms off.
What was that about?
Bells later, I arrive at the dining hall, starving and thankful Reid’s buying. He isn’t in the food line, so I scan the tables. There he is—with Ellie, drawing in her sketchbook while Reid scarfs down his meal.
My hunger disappears.
“Thanks, man.” I pat Reid’s shoulder before sliding onto the bench across from him, next to Ellie. She looks up, lighting the room with her perfect smile.
“Uh huh.” Reid takes a gulp from his drink before standing. “Later.”
He’s clearly in a mood. I’ll have to find a way to make all this up to him soon.
I kiss Ellie’s hand. “What are you drawing?” I angle my head to get a better look at her sketches.
It’s me.
Heat floods my chest as she blushes.
“How did you… Did you remember me?”
She bites her lip. “Unfortunately, no. I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was drawing. Just a face. I didn’t know it was yours until you sat down.”
“It’s good, though. It means part of you remembers.” I squeeze her hand, and she leans into me, flipping through the sketchbook’s pages. My face looks back at me from nearly every one.
“I think part of me remembers, too,” I say. “Life’s felt better lately, even though everything’s still horrible…”
My stomach falls to the floor.
Ellie notices, stiffening as she searches my face. “What’s wrong?”
“Last time I talked to my mother, she wanted us to leave.”
“What?”
I take both of her hands. “To leave Haven. I was about to agree.”
“What? No.” She shakes her head. “You can’t leave. Why would you leave?”
“Because my life’s terrible and there’s nothing for me here except for you, but I can’t remember that.”
“We need to find Reid,” Ellie says, shoving her things into her bag.
Still holding her hand, I push to my feet, almost colliding with Professor Mallory. I fumble an apology, but she holds up her hand, silencing me.
“Mister Evers, I require a word.”
Ellie squeezes my fingers, clinging to my arm.
“Can it wait?” I ask weakly. I frantically scan behind her for Reid but find nothing.
“It cannot.” She looks at Ellie, and her eyes soften. “Miss Detura, if you would.”
Ellie slowly releases my arm. I tighten my grip on her other hand.
Professor Mallory indicates I should start walking. I glance back at Ellie, whose knuckles are turning white as she clutches the strap of her bag.
Everything will be fine. I’ll see her again soon. A knot in my stomach constricts with such force that my knees almost give way.
“I don’t have all day, Mister Evers,” Mallory says.
With a final look at Ellie, I let go of her hand and follow the professor.
Our footsteps echo along the barren halls until we reach her office. I don’t know what’s going on, but this can’t be good; I’m not in any of her classes, and she seems to be the one Headmaster Gleese delegates everything bothersome to.
I take the seat across from Mallory at her desk—its surface is relatively clear, with an open folio in front of her. A messy hand scrawled my name on the topmost page.
“I’ll try to keep this short,” she says, adjusting her spectacles.
“I’m sure it’s no surprise for you to hear that your performance has been far from satisfactory.
In reviewing your assessments, I struggle to recall another student who has ever been so universally agreed upon to completely lack any ability for incantation. ”
Ouch.
“Perhaps if you had shown dedication to the rest of your studies, this conversation could have gone differently. But by all reports, you’re constantly late, barely pay attention, and put forth the minimum effort required for your assignments, even after receiving warnings from all your professors.
I am thereby forced to terminate your enrollment at the Academy, effective immediately. ”
A lump forms in my throat. I swallow, only for it to catch on the coil tightening in my chest. It’s fine. I knew this would happen eventually. Just one less thing to worry about.
I swallow again, forcing it down despite the effort making my eyes sting, and my head jerks with a nod.
“I understand.”
The tension in Mallory’s face eases. “I’ll give you the afternoon to say your goodbyes, but unfortunately you won’t be allowed back on Academy grounds after today, unless you’ve registered as a guest of a currently enrolled student.”
What does it matter if I can’t come back? Reid will still visit me.
Only if I stay in Haven.
An unexpected emptiness fills me. I didn’t think being expelled would bother me, but here I am.
Mallory continues speaking, but I pay little attention, wandering out of her office as soon as she dismisses me. I make my way down the stairs, out the doors, and begin the short walk home.
Maybe a fresh start would be nice.