Chapter 28 #2
“Hey, look at me.” Emlyn pats my cheek as he moves between me and the odious mantle of pure hostility. “I don’t know what’ll happen, but I’m not gonna pass through without you. If you don’t make it, I’m not making it. Alright?”
His golden eyes look different—the mischief is gone. My heart settles slightly, a warm glow shielding it from the fear. He grabs my hand, entwining his fingers with mine, then takes a step.
My feet are rooted to the ground.
“Try closing your eyes.” He takes my other hand in his as I do, and walking backward, he pulls again.
I take a deep breath and force my feet to follow.
Oh fuck.
Eyes closed, it’s obvious the instant I enter the storm. A blast of frigid air hits me, heavy and still, but full of pressure, even as the roaring sound of a torrential wind pounds against my eardrums.
My knees buckle under the weight of the Land’s hatred. Emlyn grunts as he drops one of my hands and wraps his arm around my chest, holding me up.
“Keep moving,” he urges, though his voice is barely discernible amid the deafening howls of nonexistent wind.
I force another step, but it’s like walking through raging waist-deep mud. With every breath, I sink deeper and deeper as a seething cold fury riddles my bones.
We trudge our way forward at an excruciating pace, with Emlyn’s shoulder digging painfully into my chest as he struggles beneath my weight.
“I did not… expect you… to be… this heavy,” he says, his voice straining.
My limbs have turned to ice. I open my eyes to nothing but purple haze—I can’t even see Emlyn. The pressure increases exponentially, crushing the air out of me.
Emlyn curses, and I immediately squeeze my eyes shut. The oppressive force barely relents as he shifts beneath me.
“How far?” I gasp.
“We’re… halfway.”
My ears ring with a sharp, unending squeal, and moisture pools within, slowly dripping out. My heart thunders in my skull, and I lose all sense of direction. I’m falling forward but never hit the ground.
Then… sensation returns.
My mind begins to clear.
Arms wrapped under my armpits drag me several feet before dropping me hard against the ground.
“Reid? Reid? Wake up.” It’s Emlyn’s voice, and someone’s tapping my cheek.
I open my eyes. “It’s you.”
Emlyn’s face transforms from worry to relief, then he collapses onto the grass next to me, breathing heavily.
“Ancients. You better like it here because I am not dragging your sorry ass through there ever again.”
I let out a laugh between breaths, lazily tossing my arm out to smack him. “You say that almost like you care.”
“Fuck off.”
We both just lay there, catching our breath, as I stare up at the bluest sky I’ve ever seen.
* * *
Taran’s horse emerges from the fog first, with Taran stumbling out soon after.
Ellie’s curled up in a ball in his arms, tears streaming down her face.
As much as I want to punch him on Caeo’s behalf, I can’t really blame him.
The horse wouldn’t have been able to handle the crushing pressure of Ellie riding on its back, and I’m sure if I were light enough to carry like that, Emlyn would’ve done the same in a heartbeat.
As it is, he looks nowhere near as exhausted as Emlyn, who doesn’t even bother sitting up to greet them.
“What took you so long?” he asks.
“I couldn’t get her to take a single step.”
Taran sets Ellie on the grass nearby. He tries to move away, but she clutches the front of his shirt in a death grip, her eyes unfocused as they stare into the distance. He leans close, his lips grazing her hair, and whispers something. A lump forms in my throat, and I look away.
There’s nothing I could’ve done to prevent this.
The fog’s wrath continues to blaze behind me.
I try to ignore it, along with all the feelings squirming around my head, and focus on the world around me.
While there’s grass on this side instead of dirt—the scars of all the battles that never healed—it otherwise looks exactly how one would have expected the hilly landscape to have continued from the other side, except more… alive?
Every color is a shade deeper than I ever imagined possible. Rich, as if you combined color with flavor. The vibrancy tingles within me, overwhelming my senses, but in a good way—not the death cloud way.
I run my hand along the soft, luminous grass beneath me. Green like the color never made sense before now—a vivacious hue I hadn’t known existed. A barely perceptible, rhythmic pulse courses through my fingers as each blade grazes my skin.
Eventually, I realize Taran stands nearby, having freed himself from Ellie’s grasp. He’s speaking to Emlyn in the Tongue, and after some back and forth, Taran offers Emlyn his hand and pulls him up. Emlyn groans, then lumbers over to the horse and says something to her.
He meets my eyes. “I’ll be back soon.” He leads her down the hillside and out of sight.
I look to Taran. “Where’s he going?”
“To take Willow someplace safe and find you and Ellie some clothing. We need to get moving. We’re too exposed here.”
He crouches next to Ellie, who’s sitting with her hand in her pocket, taking measured breaths. He takes her free hand and whispers to her. To my relief, he lets go once she’s standing, but then nudges her forward with a gentle push against the small of her back. That’s almost worse.
Taran takes the lead, his boots crunching on loose rocks as he guides us down the eastern side of the hill toward a lush forest blanketing the valley floor.
Ellie falls into step beside me, her face still pale. “Are you alright?”
“I’m getting there. You?” I help her down a particularly large boulder, since she still looks uneasy on her feet.
She nods. “I can’t help wondering how we’re ever getting home. I don’t think I can stomach going through that again. It’s going to haunt my dreams for the rest of my life.”
“Just one more life-altering event to add to the pile,” I mutter. It’s difficult to muster the energy to care anymore—it’s not like I have anything to go home to at this point. I doubt my mom even noticed I’m gone.
“Do you hate me for it?” Ellie asks after a moment. “If I’d never gone to the Academy, if we’d never met… you’d still be living the life you wanted right now.”
I bite back the scoff my gut wants to throw at her. It won’t help anything, and despite all the misery she’s brought me, none of it’s actually her fault.
So I shrug, focusing on the second half of her question. “I don’t really want that anymore. But if we hadn’t met, I wouldn’t know that. It’s hard to say.”
We eventually reach the trees. Massive pines tower above us, their bark as rich as molten chocolate, with deep green needles shimmering like emeralds in the sun. Lush ferns and clovers carpet the forest floor, with tiny white flowers that practically glow in the shadows.
Instead of taking us deeper into the woods, Taran only goes about fifty feet before following along the tree line.
“Wouldn’t we be more hidden further in?” I ask.
“Most of my people live in trees,” he replies. “The further we go, the more likely we are to run into them. Once we change your clothes, it will be safer out in the fields.”
I glance at our dirty Academy uniforms. They’ve certainly taken a beating, but still look nothing like what Taran and Emlyn wear. We’d definitely draw attention, even from a distance.
Eventually, we come to a stop, waiting for Emlyn to return. I have no idea how late it is, other than the sun hasn’t yet set. Sitting against the trunk of a tree, I close my eyes and attempt to relax. A faint pulse beats against my back.
It must have lulled me to sleep, because it hardly feels like any time’s passed when someone shakes my shoulder.
“Wake up, sleepyhead.” Emlyn drops a pile of clothes into my lap. “I had to guess your size, but I think they’ll look good on you.”
Arandur’s sagging crack, what did he get me?
I hold the clothes at arm’s length in front of me.
Going off what Taran and Emlyn wear, it’s clear that fae male fashion consists of tight leather pants and loose, collarless shirts, and the clothes he brought me fit that description perfectly.
I’m not so attached to propriety that it seems scandalizing to dress in revealing clothes, but the thought of Emlyn picking these out for me makes my insides burn up.
Thank Arandur he also included a coat with a hood.
Dammit. Stop thanking that asshole.
Ellie’s nowhere to be seen, so she must have gone to change. Taran has his back to us, keeping watch for anyone approaching. It seems childish for me to run off in search of privacy.
I undo the top buttons of my shirt, then glance up. Emlyn sits perched on a log, staring at me.
I raise my eyebrows. “Do you mind?”
“Not at all.” He tosses a berry into his mouth. My jaw clenches to hold back the smile tugging at my traitorous lips.
“Can you turn around?”
He tilts his head. “I thought we were past this. I distinctly remember doing that for you.”
“You started to, but never finished. Now, turn around.”
He sighs. “I suppose we can keep it a mystery for a little longer.” But he turns around, so rather than waste time thinking of a retort, I change my clothes as quickly as possible.
The pants… take a minute. They are quite snug. I do a quick squat test—no rips—then pull the wool coat on because I feel absolutely ridiculous. Just as I finish, Ellie returns. I don’t get a good look at what constitutes female fae fashion as she’s also wrapped up in a similar coat.
Taran takes stock of both of us. “Good. Now we just need to do a glamour…”
He lowers Ellie’s hood and brings his fingers to rest on her face. My jaw drops as her features sharpen before my eyes, her brown eyes brightening to amber, and points forming at the tips of her ears.
“Your turn.” Emlyn taps my chin up, then touches my face the same way. His skin against mine is the only thing I feel, but a few seconds later he pulls his hand away, his lips pursed as he tilts his head.
“You better not have made me look stupid.”
“No, I didn’t. I just prefer you the other way.”
I pull my hood up to hide the heat rising to my face.
Taran tucks his hair behind his ear. “Alright. Our goal now is to gather information and collect our allies before we head to the capital. It’s a lot to do, and the longer it takes, the more time the queen has to prepare. She already knows I’ve returned.”
He focuses on Emlyn, leaning against a nearby tree. “We’ll need to split up. You can take the western side of Anwen’s Tears, and I’ll go east. Have everyone meet in White Spring in five days. You know who to visit?”
Emlyn nods, but his brow furrows. “White Spring? It’ll still have quite the crowd. What happened to staying out of sight?”
Taran’s jaw tightens, then he exhales. “We can blend in among the pilgrims.”
Emlyn chews his lip, as if holding back from arguing. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’s running through a list of doubts in his mind. It’s starting to seem like we’re trying to replace a war-mongering queen with a short-sighted king.
He gestures at Ellie and me. “What about them?”
“You decide.” Taran’s eyes dart away, then he runs his hand through his hair. “They can both come with me—I know you work best alone.”
I frown. If he doesn’t want to be stuck with just Ellie, why not say so?
Unless he’s afraid to admit he does.
Emlyn’s gaze meets mine. He doesn’t say anything, but it’s clear what he wants on his face.
Dammit. What do I do now?
I peek at Taran. He’s taken a few steps away, looking at the ground, biting his knuckle. Ellie’s watching him, too.
She turns to me. “Go with Emlyn. I’ll be alright.”
“Ellie…” I can’t just leave her with Taran. Caeo will kill me.
Her face hardens. “Go, Reid. It’s what you want. Put yourself first for once.”
I close my eyes. Exhale slowly.
You can’t destroy yourself to save them.
I go with Emlyn.