Chapter 28
Reid
By the time I return to camp, Emlyn has thankfully finished his bath in the creek and gotten dressed.
I have zero expectations of Ellie or Taran returning anytime soon, and I’ve reached my limit on what I can deal with for the day.
So I shove everything down—my thoughts, frustrations, and even myself—and settle a comfortable distance from the fire.
I shut my eyes and wait for sleep to take me.
Which, of course, it doesn’t. Instead, I’m extremely aware of Emlyn sitting down behind me, with maybe a cock’s length between us.
Why, brain? Why?
“Are you alright?” he asks.
I shake my head. “Did you hear everything?”
Emlyn chuckles. “No—my hearing isn’t that much better than yours. But don’t tell Ellie that.” He exhales. “It’s not your fault. You gotta let them make their own choices.”
A cool breeze rustles my hair as I roll over and look up at the sky, the fire crackling nearby. Its orange glow makes it difficult to pick out the stars.
“Why did you even tell Taran to bring Ellie, anyway?” I ask. “Even without his memories, I doubt Caeo would need much convincing to leave his mom. She’s always been horrible to him.”
“I know—that was obvious. But I don’t make the decisions. Taran does.”
So I was right. This is his fault.
Still…
“I can’t help feeling like Caeo will blame me for this.”
“You did your best. You can’t destroy yourself to save them. They shouldn’t expect you to.”
I close my eyes, then reach in his direction, feeling for his hand. He takes it with a reassuring squeeze.
He hasn’t let go by the time I drift to sleep.
* * *
Ellie must’ve returned sometime during the night, as I find her sleeping on the opposite side of the smoking remains of the fire when Emlyn wakes me. Apparently, I curled up against his shoulder in my sleep. It’s cold and he smells like vanilla, dammit.
Taran shows up a while later, a bell or so after dawn based on where the sun’s at.
He goes straight to the horses, where Ellie immediately joins him.
I try to ignore their conversation, digging through Emlyn’s pack for some food while he tugs his boots on next to me, but every word chafes my eardrums.
“You were gone all night,” Ellie says. “Is everything alright?”
“I wanted some time to myself,” Taran replies.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“Why do you always think you did something?”
“Typical fae tactic to avoid the truth—answer a question with a question,” Emlyn whispers to me, his soft hair brushing my shoulder.
Ever since we left Haven, he’s been wearing it down, with some braids in the front to keep it out of his face. It’s an effort to resist the call to my fingers, begging them to run through those blond locks.
“I just… I wanted to talk,” Ellie says.
I swear I could punch her, but Caeo would beat me to death. Or would he, if it keeps her out of his brother’s pants?
Taran falls silent as he tightens a strap on the horse.
“This is a tough one,” Emlyn whispers again. “He can’t claim there’s nothing to discuss because he knows there is, but if he asks another question, she’ll spell it out for him.”
Taran shoots a glare our way.
“I figured that out on my own,” I mutter, peeking inside a leather sack to find a variety of nuts. “You don’t need to explain.”
“Just trying to acclimate you to our ways,” he says. “We’ll be crossing the border today. I’d hate for my kin to scare you off.”
“Today?” I glance back at Emlyn, who nods. “Will we be meeting other fae?”
He clicks his tongue, his gaze drifting to the tree line.
“I’m not entirely sure of the plan. I thought Taran would go over it last night, but…
” He shrugs. “We’ll have to get the two of you some different clothes.
Preferably something with a hood, because I can’t guarantee people won’t see through any glamours we put on you.
After that… I’m not sure. We’re traveling with two Fallen and a prince with enemies in both the northern and southern realms. This was the easy part. ”
My stomach tightens. “How dangerous will this be?” When I decided to chase after Ellie, I was a capable incanter. Now, I just have a sword I’ve never actually used in a fight.
I’m not ready to die for Caeo’s sake. Stopping a war is a slightly better cause, but as I meet Emlyn’s eyes, I know that’s not the reason I’m still here, either.
He squeezes my arm. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”
Heat floods my chest; how does ‘truth’ work in this scenario? Did he just bind himself to that?
But now he’s gone, joining Taran at the horses before I even build the courage to ask. Ellie’s no longer with them, but back by the fire, staring at her hands as she fiddles with something small between her fingers.
I guess I missed how their conversation ended.
At least Emlyn isn’t being a pain in the ass this morning—yet.
It’s baffling how he can go from being the most irritating person alive to tender as slow-cooked chicken in the blink of an eye.
As if all the moments he’s needling me are just his weird way of being respectful.
Like he’s keeping himself entertained until I’m ready to pick up where we left off, before he slept with Alexis.
Because that’s inevitable, right? Who cares that he’s fae?
I should, shouldn’t I?
Despite everything, it’s getting harder and harder to remind myself he’s fae when I look at him.
Alexis’s warning, as well-intended as it was, just feels ignorant now.
He’s not the manipulative villain we’ve been warned about our entire lives, and I truly believe he never intended to hurt her. Or me.
With my entire world flipped upside down, he’s been the single constant.
And yet… despite how my heart sprints around him, despite longing for his touch, I don’t think my brain can handle any more changes right now.
Not with everything else going to shit. I need to focus on what’s important—saving Caeo—since Ellie can’t.
I bring our packs to the horses, keeping some dried fruit and nuts in hand while Emlyn attaches them to the saddles. When he finishes, he takes the food he wants from me, then playfully shoves what remains into my mouth.
“Time to go,” Taran calls to Ellie.
She trudges over, the fire finally out, meeting him at his horse. I turn away, letting Emlyn help me onto mine. Taran does a good job feigning indifference while assisting Ellie, but ruins it by smiling when she thanks him.
You can’t destroy yourself to save them.
I force an exhale, then kick my horse into motion behind Ellie’s. “E’torel sinta nan.”
* * *
We arrive at the border in the early afternoon. This being my first time out of Haven, I’ve obviously never seen it before. But I’ve heard tales of it—an impenetrable fog that human eyes can’t pierce, filling the air from the ground to the highest reaches of the sky.
After leaving the patch of forest that obscured it from our view, I pull my horse to a stop next to Ellie’s. Both our jaws hang open as we lose a staring contest against a cloud.
Stories said it felt angry. That’s an understatement; it feels like it wants to pulverize me for even daring to gaze upon it.
Emlyn pulls up beside me. “That bad, huh?”
My voice sticks in my throat. “Is it always so… murderous?”
They don’t really expect us to walk through this, do they?
Emlyn looks ahead at Taran, who’s dismounting his horse. “Not to us,” he says. “Just mortals—the Land’s way of keeping you out.”
Taran pulls his pack from the saddle. “Everyone dismount. The only horse we’re bringing through is Willow.”
“Why?” Ellie asks as he helps her down. She clutches his arm, unable to wrest her eyes away from the curtain of hatred.
“We won’t be able to use them once we get through—the terrain will be too rough. There’s no point in risking them getting lost in the fog, but Willow knows her way home.”
Emlyn pats my knee, reminding me to dismount. I find myself frozen in place the second my feet hit the ground.
He takes my pack off the horse and feeds my arms through its straps. “Is it really that bad?” He glances between me and the loathsome veil.
I nod, my mouth agape.
Emlyn turns back to Taran. “Are you sure this won’t hurt them?”
Taran’s lips press together as he looks from us to the blanket of certain death, then back.
“Taran?” Emlyn presses.
He answers slowly. “Not entirely. I’m not aware of a mortal who’s ever made it across.”
Does this guy ever think things through?
“Ancients, Taran! Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“We don’t have a choice. If they’re going to help, they have to try.”
Fuck. I didn’t think I’d be so blatantly risking my life this soon. Maybe I should just accept that Caeo has a new life and I’ll never see him again. Find myself a job in a city far, far, away from this abominable place.
Grabbing Taran’s free arm, Emlyn yanks him out of Ellie’s grasp. Her hands clench into fists, her face white. They argue furiously in the Tongue, but it ends quickly, with Taran getting the last word.
Emlyn storms toward the horses, spouting more words in the Tongue as he smacks one of their rumps. They take off in the direction we came from, except for Willow, whose reins Taran grabs.
His green eyes focus on us. “You’ll need to stay close. Do not let go, no matter what. Understand?”
Ellie and I both nod slowly.
“One more thing—” the light in his eyes blazes like a wildfire.
“Do not, under any circumstances, incant while you’re in there.
In fact, do not incant at all within my realm.
I’m telling you this as its monarch, not as a friend.
I will not stand for any desecrating of the Land. Do you understand me?”
Despite my current feelings about incanting, that seems like a horribly unwise thing to agree to.
My mouth, however, is having difficulty forming words, so I just nod.
Hopefully, my couple of months of sword training will be enough if we run into any trouble.
I fumble with the saber on my belt to make sure it’s still there.