24. Chapter Twenty Four Brannoc
Chapter Twenty Four: Brannoc
I sealed the deal before Rhowyn could step in, my instincts screaming at me that what the Puca would ask for in return for his help would be a price greater than she'd be willing to pay. My soul was already stained. Nothing he could ask could be worse than what I'd already done.
Even though I couldn't be with her, I could protect her from this. She needed to take the throne without the threat that this would hang over her head.
“What did you do?” she asked, pushing me. I stumbled back, taken off guard.
“I made a deal that I could keep,” I told her, keeping my emotions tamped firmly down, my voice devoid of emotion.
“That wasn't yours to take. We should have discussed this!”
“What's done is done. No sense in worrying about it now,” I told her, hoping she'd just let this go.
Apparently, I wasn't that lucky. “You big oaf! Of course I'm going to worry about it. I wouldn't have let my men make this commitment, so why would I let you?”
“Exactly. You and your men are set to take the throne. You didn't need this shadowing your reign,” I told her, even more aware of the fact that I didn't fully belong. I wanted to serve her, but I was an unnecessary limb. I was glad I took the deal since it was the least I could do.
She hmphed, stomping off. Baer and Lennox followed her, not allowing her to wander far. My eyes followed her every movement, unable to stop myself. No matter what I was doing, I knew where and what she was doing. My own nature made it impossible to do anything else.
“Idiot,” Arryn said from beside me, drawing my attention.
I didn't say anything; I just waited for him to respond. Before he could explain, the Puca spoke. “Well, now that payment has been taken care of, shall we get back to preparing for this little jailbreak?” He rubbed his hands together eagerly, knowing he'd gotten the better end of the deal today. I rolled my eyes, not entirely liking the fact that I was now indebted to this fool, but it was always better than the alternative.
Rhowyn came back as Arryn and the Puca began discussing the details of the plan. Unable to withstand the weight of her anger and confusion, I changed into my Raven form, flying up above the canopy of the forest to scan for intruders.
Satisfied that we were still alone, I landed on a branch close enough to the group that I could hear what the plans were but far enough away that I could watch the area. Arryn was a master strategist, so I knew I wasn't needed for this task. Although my area of expertise was getting into spaces and places that kept others out, it was always just me alone. I didn't have the faintest idea of how to navigate assigning tasks to others. That's where he excelled.
Instead, I kept one eye on Rhowyn. I knew my reaction earlier had confused her. It confused me as well. When I had agreed to help Arryn during the trials, I could have never predicted my fascination with the intriguing Chosen. Her entire being was captivating. Like the shiny objects that caught my Raven's eye, she'd filled my vision and thoughts with nothing else but her. However, for once, I might have found the only thing that I couldn't steal. Her heart.
She didn't need me. She had her consorts, handpicked by Avalonia. I wasn't a part of that. While I was more powerful than most, I was still an underfae. There had never been a high fae queen that had taken a low fae lover or consort. It wasn't our place.
I wasn't a fool. I knew she was attracted to me; I could smell it on her when we'd been in smoke form before speaking to Juniper. After I'd calmed her earlier, she'd felt that desire again. And weak man that I was, I had let her kiss me, unable to get away before tasting her.
If I'd thought I was transfixed before, it was much worse now. After that little taste, I was hooked more firmly than a fae on pixie powder. When she'd run into Baer's arms after I'd brought them back, I couldn't keep the sadness and jealousy at bay. Their easy relationship was something I wanted more than anything else in this world. To belong to her so thoroughly. To know that she wanted me.
At one point in time, when Ravens were more numerous, we had mate bonds. My grandmother had told me about it, her own bond to my grandfather the thing that made her happiest in the world. A connection to someone else far beyond that of consort and Queen. Never before had I wanted a bond, to be connected to someone in such a way, but I couldn't help wishing now that I had that tie to Rhowyn. But it was impossible now. She wasn't a Raven for one, and for two, there hadn't been a mate bond in over a thousand years. My grandparents were some of the last to receive such a gift from Avalonia.
A snap of a twig drew my attention back to the woods as I scanned the area, too lost in my own thoughts to have noticed anyone or anything approaching. A cat sith darted out of the underbrush, skittering to the next bush. Relaxing, I returned my focus back to the plans, the night continuing to darken as the hours passed.
“It's decided then. We'll move tomorrow morning after the second shift change,” Arryn declared, turning to glance back at me with a nod.
Alighting from the branch, I dropped down in the middle of them, barely taking my fae form long enough for the others to touch me before dissolving into smoke, dragging them back into my home.
I dropped them off and then disappeared again. The thought of Rhowyn finding pleasure in their bodies was too much for me to resist, so I removed myself from the equation altogether. The look on Arryn's face as I left told me that he knew exactly what I was doing. I was running.
Flying around the village, I tried to listen in for any information that could help us, but with the hour being so late already, the only people out and about were the drunks making their way home for the night. Still, I flew until the night began to fade and I was too tired to do anything more than make it home and fall into my bed.
Landing in my living room, I was startled to find Arryn awake in one of the chairs, watching the flames in the fireplace as he sipped his drink. I had hoped to outlast him, but I should have known better. He was one of the most stubborn men I'd ever met.
Even as children, he'd worn me down until we'd become friends. Or at least what I could offer as friendship. Preferring to be alone, as was my nature, it had been difficult to open up to him. Despite my many attempts, he kept coming after me. Keeping in touch even when he should have been focused on other, more important things.
“Finally done with running?” he asked me, taking another sip of his drink.
“I wasn't running. I was spying. Trying to see if I could find information that could help us.”
“Whatever you have to tell yourself, but just know, you're not fooling anyone.”
Deciding to pour my own drink, I needed the libations if I was being forced to have this conversation. “I'm not trying to fool anyone. I'm simply stating facts.”
He just stared at me, clearly not buying my excuse. Sitting in the chair beside him, I sighed. “Fine. I was running.”
“Obviously.”
“Don't rub it in,” I told him, narrowing my eyes at him.
Smiling at me, he asked, “When did you become so dense?”
“What do you mean?” I asked, not liking the tone of this talk.
“I mean, we all know you're attracted to Rhowyn. We even know she's attracted to you.” At my questioning look, he explained, “We can feel it in the bond. As for you, you're not very subtle about your interest.”
“I don't want to cause any problems. I simply want to help Rhowyn, but if my being around is an issue, I can leave,” I said, taking a deep drink of my liquor. Leaving Rhowyn was the last thing I wanted, but I didn't want to add any more to her plate than she already had. If my being here was distracting her, I'd disappear from her life in a heartbeat.
“Don't be daft,” Arryn said. “I'm trying to tell you that we've talked about this.” I glanced sharply at him, not daring to hope. As if reading my mind, he continued quickly. “Well, not with Rhowyn, not yet. I meant that the guys and I have discussed this, and if it's something that Rhowyn wants, we won't interfere. We want her to be happy and safe. We trust you enough by now to know that you have her best interests in mind and will protect her as surely as we would.”
“But how?” I asked, taken aback by this information. “There's never been a Queen who's taken a low fae lover before. It's just not done.”
He smiled. “As if you haven't noticed that Rhowyn is different by now. She'll do what she pleases either way. Besides, I have a feeling that Avalonia put you in our lives for a reason. She knew Rhowyn would need you, that you could give her something that she can't get from us.”
“And none of you have a problem with this?” I asked. “Even Callum?”
Arryn laughed softly. “Well, Callum is still on the fence, but he won't stand in your way. It's for Rhowyn to decide what she wants with you.” Finishing his drink, he stood, setting the glass on the side table. “Don't fuck this up,” he told me before heading to his room.
Unsure of how to process this revelation, I sat there stunned. The thing I wanted most in this world was sitting right before me. The question was, did I dare take it?