39. Chapter Thirty Nine Rhowyn
Chapter Thirty Nine: Rhowyn
In true fashion, I avoided the topic for as long as I could. It seemed Brannoc was just as loathe as I was to have the conversation we both were desperately trying to skirt around. I entered the room, taking a quick glance around to find a simple full-sized bed, a wardrobe, and a door off to one side. Opening the door revealed a large bathroom, a tub sunken into the floor, with toiletries and towels sitting on a table along the side of the room.
I marveled at the idea that running water found its way all the way up here in the tree, but I guess with magic, anything was possible. Deciding to take Cyerra up on the offer to freshen up, I closed the door behind me, leaving both Brannoc and I to our own thoughts.
The water magically turned on at the perfect temperature, just hot enough to tingle as I entered the water but not hot enough to burn me. My muscles instantly relaxed at the sensation, and I leaned my head back against the edge, closing my eyes and just basking in the warmth that now surrounded me.
However, it didn't take long before my intrusive thoughts found their way back in and began hammering at my walls to let them in. In this moment, I wished I had the arms of one of my men around me, to offer me comfort and support. The idea that one of them wouldn't want me hadn't occurred to me, and after being openly accepted by the guys, I never questioned whether or not Brannoc wanted me. I'd taken him at his word, that he wanted to be with me in any way that he could have me, but maybe he hadn't expected a lifetime commitment when he'd said those things. Perhaps he'd simply wanted to get me out of his system in hopes that he could move on and return to his solitary life that he'd led before.
Hell, even when Callum had pushed me away, I'd never felt as dejected as I did now. I wiped a few tears from my eyes, unsure of how to broach the subject, how to ease this pain that we were both clearly feeling.
Squaring my shoulders with a sniffle, I hardened myself and locked away those emotions. I couldn't afford to have this weighing on me right now. I needed to secure the water, and then maybe I could let myself fall apart.
After scrubbing myself until my skin was tinged pink, as if I just scrubbed hard enough, the emotions would wash away as easily as the dirt, I drained the water before running a fresh batch to rinse with. Finally satisfied and unable to prolong my bath any further, I exited the tub and wrapped a towel around myself. It wasn't until I picked up my clothes that I realized just how filthy they'd become from the hike through the forest. Not interested in putting them back on my newly cleaned skin, I peeked my head out the door. Brannoc was laying on the bed, his hands behind his head and eyes closed.
I tiptoed across the room to the wardrobe, pulling it open to see what options I had. Fingers crossed it was something more than the loincloth that Revna had worn. I knew the Fae were comfortable with nudity, but I hadn't managed to shake my human insecurities. Maybe in a couple of decades or a couple of centuries I'd be able to walk around mostly nude without turning a bright red shade, but for now, I opted for the outfit that provided the most coverage.
Taking the clothes in one hand, I turned to head back to the bathroom, my eyes meeting Brannoc's as he watched me silently. Despite having had sex with him and being mated, I felt more naked than ever before. Water dripped from my hair, sending goose bumps along my skin as I froze like a deer in the headlights. “Are we going to talk about this?” he asked me, still not moving.
“About what?” I played stupid, panicking at the thought of having a heart-to-heart with him without some form of armor in place.
He sighed. “If that's how you want it, I deserve to have to wait.” His eyes closed again with a look of pain.
Unfreezing, I hurried to the bathroom but hesitated before closing the door behind me. “Let me get dressed, and maybe then we can hash this out.” Not waiting for his response, I threw on the clothes that had been provided. This one was a dress that was mostly see-through, with long sleeves and flowed to the ground. It had a plunging neckline that dipped to below my navel, but darker patches of purple covered all the necessary bits. It definitely covered more than Revna’s loincloth, and for that, I was happy as I could be.
It seemed wise to wear the provided clothes, proving that I respected their customs and fashions. No makeup was provided, so I finger combed my hair and let it air dry around my shoulders. I wished I had Juniper here now to do my hair in some fancy updo or braid. She truly worked magic on me and bolstered my confidence by making me feel beautiful in a way that was totally new for me. Apparently, it didn't take me long to become spoiled by the finer things in life.
Satisfied that nothing else could be done, I took a deep breath and exited the room. My eyes found the clock along the opposite wall. “Shit, there's only thirty minutes left before Cyerra returns. You should probably bathe and get ready for dinner. If we have time, we can talk afterward.”
Brannoc sighed, getting up from the bed and headed to the bathroom. I heard the water start to run, and I plopped down on the bed. I was a coward. My relief at having another excuse to avoid the dreaded elephant in the room was short lived as I recognized the pathetic tactics I had been using.
Why was this so hard? Why did I care so much about what he wanted? I had the others; I shouldn't need his affection as well. So why did this hurt so much? It's not like we'd known each other long enough for me to have fallen in love with him, though I certainly had felt that we could get there after we'd had sex and connected on a deeper level.
The door swung open, interrupting my thoughts and revealing Brannoc, a towel wrapped around his waist, water still running down his lithe body. I swallowed a lump in my suddenly dry throat. Why was I so thirsty all of a sudden? I'd seen near-naked men in just as good of shape as he was, but there was something about his abs that made me want to lick the water from them.
He met my eyes briefly. “I forgot to get the clothes.” I forced a smile, sure that he was just as discombobulated as I was about this whole thing. He walked quickly to the wardrobe, holding his towel in one hand and opening the door with the other. He dug through the offered selection until he found what he was looking for.
He made to drop the towel and then glanced at me when the towel dipped low enough that I could see his adonis belt and happy trail. He gripped the edges harder and rushed back to the bathroom, leaving me to fan myself . Holy shit! Why did I have to be so attracted to him? It was right about now that I was wishing for underwear so my slickness wouldn't be evident to everyone around. Standing, I began pacing, trying to force thoughts of sex from my head.
I whirled at the sound of the door opening again, swallowing at the sight of Brannoc as he exited, wearing only leather pants that were widely braided along the sides, similar to the ones that Cyerra had been wearing. Holy cow. Leather pants had never looked so good. Unable to resist, my eyes dipped to the obvious bulge of his pants before jerking back to his to find a smirk on his face. I narrowed my eyes, frustrated that he wasn't feeling the same instant attraction as I was. All the more reason to avoid this conversation. The last thing I wanted right now was to be completely rejected before going into this meeting.
Saved by the knock on the door, I whirled to answer it, slightly breathless from the motion. “Cyerra! So glad to see you again!” I exclaimed a lot more cheerfully than was probably normal.
She smiled at me awkwardly. “It's good to see you again, too, Rhowyn.” Leaning around me, she smiled at Brannoc. “And you as well. I see you both found the clothes we left for you.”
“Yes,” I answered her. “They're all so lovely.” They truly were, even though I didn't feel as if they fit me or my personality.
“Good. It'll help you not stand out as much, though keeping your ears covered will also help,” she said, taking in my hair that I'd left down.
Forcing a smile and preparing myself to hear comments along these lines all night, I opened my mouth to reply, but Brannoc beat me to the punch. “She looks like a queen, even with her human glamor.”
“Of course!” Cyerra said, dipping her head as if just now realizing how rude she was being. “I meant no disrespect. Sometimes my mouth runs away with me before I've had a chance to think. It's the bane of my mother's existence,” she joked.
“None taken,” I assured her, following as she led the way to where we'd be meeting members of the council. She chattered away the whole time, but it was hard to focus on what she was saying. My nerves were eating away at my stomach, and I had to keep wiping my palms on the front of my transparent dress.
We reached the door to the dining area faster than I had expected, and I took a deep breath as I readied myself for the onslaught I was about to face. A large, warm hand found mine as Brannoc laced his fingers through my own. I smiled at him gratefully, ignoring the different sort of butterflies that took flight at the gesture. Refusing to think too much on the support, I reasoned with myself that he was just being a good friend and helping me face his enclave, as he'd called them. He didn't mean anything more by it other than to help me in my quest. He was here for Arryn, not for me. Maybe if I told myself this enough times, I'd finally start to believe it and not be crushed when he told me he didn't want me for his true mate.
We entered the room together, hands clasped tightly. All activity ceased when we were spotted, the silence echoing around us. Refusing to be cowed, I squared my shoulders and held my head high. Let them think whatever they must. I'd change enough of their opinions tonight and tomorrow that we'd succeed. There was no other option.
“Welcome, Rhowyn and Brannoc!” Revna announced from her table at the head of the room. I dipped my head in response and deferred to her as a show of respect. “Come, sit with me and my family.”
Her invitation stirred up a storm of whispers that I refused to listen to as we made our way across the large room. There were hundreds present, each bustling around to serve themselves before sitting with friends and family. We took the empty seats that Revna had gestured to, a couple of Ravens rushing over to place full plates and glasses in front of us. I smiled at them in thanks, earning blushes from the two ladies before they hustled off.
“Please eat and enjoy our hospitality,” Revna offered. Unable to do anything else for fear of offending them, I reached for my glass that held a grayish liquid that resembled milk of some sort. Without hesitation, I took a large drink, pleasantly surprised at the honey and lavender taste.
At my expression, Revna just laughed. “It's thistle milk. A delicacy among our kind.”
“It's amazing. I can see why it's prized, but I'm assuming it's rare?” I asked, trying to strike up a conversation.
A male Raven across from me sneered. “The thistle only grows near Cashel Rí, somewhere we have not been welcomed in a long time.”
“I'm sorry to hear that. Hopefully when I'm crowned, I can change that,” I offered, trying to placate the man.
Somewhat appeased by my answer, yet not willing to grant me any leeway, he replied, “Yes, well, we shall see won't we. First, you'll need to be crowned, something I still can't see happening. As if Titania's rule would fall to a human.”
“Now, now, Corbin,” the Chieftain cut in, “Rhowyn here is not actually human, right, dear?”
“She's correct. I'm actually High Fae, cursed with a glamor of a human for the time being.”
“Hmmph.” A lady a couple of seats down made her opinion known. “Not even strong enough to break a simple glamor. How does she think she'll even defeat the Queen if she can't even beat that?”
Revna made as if she was going to interrupt the lady's musings, but I beat her to it. “Even Master Jude and the Queen herself have tried to break the glamor, each clearly failing at the task. However, I have no doubt that once I have the magic of Avalon at my fingertips, I'll be able to break it.”
“Oh, is that all she wants?” another grumped from the other side of me.
Unsure who to address, I tried again, refraining from rolling my eyes or growling. A nasty habit I'd picked up from Callum. “I simply wish to restore the balance of magic to Avalon and to bring prosperity to everyone. After all, my True Mate is one of you, so I hope that we will be able to broker a truce and eventually bring peace to both our kind.”
At my announcement of Brannoc being my mate, everyone at the table gasped, glancing to their Chieftain for clarification. “She speaks true. I have sensed it myself. Her True Mate is Brannoc.”
“An outsider?”
“How's that even possible?”
“What does this even mean?”
Questions rushed out from everyone at the table but were immediately silenced by Revna when she held out her hands to placate them. “I know not what this means, except that it was ordained by Avalonia herself. After all, it is her that grants us the favor of finding our True Mates, so who are we to question her will? She's never steered us wrong before.”
“But he's not really one of us,” a man muttered from further down the table.
“I will have none of that. Brannoc is not responsible for the decision of his mother and was an oversight of our own people to have left him with the other fae for so long.” She glanced at the man in question, who was staring at his plate, shoulders stiff under the weight of everyone's judgment.
I took his hand in mine again under the table, offering him my solidarity. If they couldn't accept him, then they could all rot away here for all I cared. I didn't want to welcome such narrow-minded people into my own lands.
“Brannoc,” Revna began, waiting until he looked up at her. “Please accept my apology on behalf of all of us. It's unforgivable that we were not there for you after your mother's passing. By the time I had heard of it, you were already grown and had moved on.” I could sense what her apology and acceptance meant to him as the weight of her words lifted an invisible weight from his shoulders. He simply nodded, his throat bobbing as if forcing down the emotions her words had caused to rise to the surface.
“Now that you have found your way back to us, I hope to see more of you in the future. After all, you're family in more ways than one. I would like to know my sister's only child, if you would allow me the opportunity,” she offered quietly.
The others at the table remained silent, watching her acceptance of us with open arms. Now her support made more sense. She was Brannoc's aunt. I smiled at him, truly happy for him in this moment. Whether he chose to stay with me or not, he'd now have a home either way.
“I'd like that, thank you,” Brannoc rasped out through the emotions that kept threatening to bubble up.
Granting him a reprieve to regain his composure, Revna changed the subject. “Now, let us rejoice in finding a lost relative and enjoy tonight's feast. We have Avalonia to thank for providing for us in more ways than we could ever foresee.”
“Here, here!” everyone shouted, raising their glasses in toast to their Chieftain's words.
“To Avalonia and family,” someone shouted.
With that, I'd gladly take a drink. I took a long swallow of the thick liquid, my head already starting to swim. Apparently, the thistle milk was fermented.