Chapter 6
ELLIE
It was incredible how quickly a day could change.
One minute we were walking back from the rhyme and story time session at our local library, and the next Maggie was on the ground, groaning in agony.
Someone squeezed my shoulder, stirring me from my stupor, and it took a few blinks to focus on Jake eyeing me with concern.
His mouth moved, but the shape of his words didn’t match the sound, muffled and distant, like I was submerged under water.
All that worry sharpened, and he clasped my cheek, a caress fierce enough to startle me into sense again.
My ears popped then flooded with city sounds.
“Ellie, look at me,” he demanded.
“I… I am.”
“Fuck.” His head dropped. A breath rushed out. “I said your name like five times. What happened?”
“Maggie slipped on the ice and—”
“No, after that. Do you remember when I took Noah across the road?”
I nodded. “Hot chocolate.”
“Good. That’s good.” He glanced around the street like he was searching for something, or didn’t quite know what else to do, and his apparent distress shook the lingering fog from my brain.
“Wait. Where’s Noah?”
“I’m here!” My son peeped out from behind Jake’s legs, his mouth and chin covered in chocolate and whipped cream. He shot me a toothy grin, then refocused on the disposable cup cradled in both hands.
I hadn’t realised how on edge I was, how much I needed to see he was okay, until my whole body slackened.
“Hi, baby.” I smoothed Noah’s wind-ruffled hair and kissed his forehead, grateful that his earlier upset seemed long forgotten. “Are you enjoying your hot chocolate?”
He nodded a few times, the way he always did when excited, and licked the cup for a stray cloud of whipped cream.
“He spilled his cup,” Jake explained. “So that’s actually yours.”
“That’s okay. Whatever makes him happy.”
“What about you? You had me worried for a moment there.”
I shrugged, startled by the urge to rush into his arms—weird, since I wasn’t much for hugging.
Instead, I settled on a grateful smile, still in disbelief that he’d turned up when he had, moments after I’d wished for someone to call, who could be there for help and support when I didn’t know what to do.
I’d frozen in the initial aftermath, unsure who to comfort first—Maggie, or my little boy crying in distress.
Then, somehow, Jake appeared.
Coincidence or kismet, I didn’t think I’d ever been happier to see another person in my life.
“I’m sorry. I guess I’m more freaked out than I realised.”
“You’ve had a shock. If my mother was here, she’d suggest a hot, sugary drink. Me, I’d go with a shot of whiskey, but something tells me you don’t have that.”
“I’m all out.”
He grinned at that. “Tea then, with lots of sugar.”
“I was actually thinking P-I-Z-Z-A. My mum always said there wasn’t a problem that couldn’t be solved with P-I-Z-Z-A.”
“I’d agree with her, but is there a reason you’re spelling out the word and not saying it?”
“Yes. He’s standing right there.”
Jake peered at Noah still happily slurping on his drink. “Huh. Curious.”
“He gets a bit excited.”
“I don’t blame him.”
“Would… would you like to join us? Unless you’re going somewhere?” I gestured at his backpack, wondering what happened in the hours we’d been apart.
Nothing good by the looks of it.
“Just a local hotel, wherever’s closest.”
He wasn’t drunk or in danger of freezing to death this time, but I found myself saying, “You can stay with us again. We don’t mind, do we, Noah?”
He nodded.
“Believe it or not, that means he doesn’t mind.”
The amusement in Jake’s eyes faded quickly. He shifted a bit, scrubbing the side of his face, a weariness creeping over him like the shadow of a storm cloud. “That’s generous, but I didn’t come here for that. I think I needed a friendly face.”
Stupidly, my heart skipped.
I was someone’s friendly face.
Me.
“That bad, huh?”
“I was gonna say worse, but my problems seem embarrassingly trivial now, after everything that happened here.”
“Don’t say that. Someone else’s pain doesn’t negate your own.”
“I think it does in this case, but you’re sweet to say otherwise.”
“Please come upstairs,” I told him. “Don’t make me worry about you and park benches again. Not today.”
His mouth opened and closed without a word. Any other day, I would’ve picked that hesitation apart, scrutinised the meaning behind it endlessly, but I didn’t have the mental bandwidth right now.
“If it helps, I wouldn’t mind the company.”
His gaze softened. “Alright, if you’re sure.”
“I’m sure.”
“Before I forget.” Jake pulled a small bouquet of bright yellow roses from inside his coat, the cellophane wrapping a little crinkled. “These are for you, as a thank you for last night.”
“Oh.” Stunned by the gesture, I accepted the gift with some hesitation, unsure how to act. “That wasn’t necessary, but thank you. They’re beautiful.”
“I don’t know your favourite colour yet so I hope you don’t mind yellow.”
“It’s pink, but you’re crazy if you think I’d mind. I’ve never… I’ve never received flowers before.”
I couldn’t decipher the expression on Jake’s face, but his head tilt made my heart flutter all over again.
“Then I’m honoured to be the first.”
We shared a smile and made our way inside.
It was quiet while the lift climbed. Now that I’d stopped, all that built up adrenaline ebbed, leaving me drained, like a gust of wind could blow me right over.
Jake steadied me the second I swayed, and tucked me under his arm, somehow warm despite the chill clinging to his coat.
“Jesus, Ellie. You’re shaking.”
His whisper of concern stung my eyes, or maybe it was the care with which he held me. I wasn’t sure, but I willed the tears away. Noah was so sensitive to other people’s feelings, and he’d had enough upset for one day. I never broke down in front of my son. Never.
“I can’t talk about it yet,” I whispered.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “I’ve got you.”
I took shelter in Jake’s embrace, enveloped in his gentle, woodsy scent, until the lift slowed to a stop.
Then, somehow knowing I needed a second to myself, Jake turned to my son and said, “Bet I can beat you to the front door.”
Noah perked up at the challenge. “Nuh-uh.”
“My legs are longer than yours though so…” The second the lift doors opened, Jake sprung out and made a run for it. “Last one there is a rotten egg!”
Noah screamed, laughed, then screamed again, the excitement almost too much.
“Let me have that.” I snatched the cup from Noah’s sticky hands seconds before he followed.
“You’re both going the wrong way.” I managed a watery chuckle when the pair of them spun around, a blur of noise and a rush of air as they passed me by.
My son’s giggles bounced along the hallway, something I hadn’t expected to hear after the afternoon we’d had, and the carefree sound soothed something inside, giving me the push to pull myself together.
“I won, I won!” Noah sang, shaking his little butt in celebration. “I’m not an egg!”
We laughed.
“Thank you,” I mouthed, matching Jake’s smile.
He lifted his shoulders as if to say it’s okay, no big deal, but it was to me and at some point I’d tell him as much.
“Right. Who wants pizza?”
“YES, PIZZA!” Noah cheered, and the second I unlocked the front door, he ran off down the hallway like a caged animal freshly unleashed.
This type of behaviour was nothing new, but Jake watched in awe and horror as my son ran riot around my tiny flat.
“I have a feeling this is my fault,” he said.
“How?”
“Maybe all the sugar from the hot chocolate? Does it work that fast?”
“I think it’s ten percent sugar, sixty percent the prospect of pizza—”
‘PIZZAAAAAA!” Noah roared again, diving onto the sofa.
“And thirty percent being, you know, four-years-old.”
“Ah. Makes sense.”
“I told you he gets excited. Noah, can you not jump on that please?” A futile question. He rarely listened when he got like this. “Also, we don’t have visitors, so you being here is all new and exciting.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, it’s just me and Noah most of the time.”
Jake’s brow wrinkled, but his reply was swiftly lost to one of the decorative cushions smacking him full in the face.
“Oh my god, Noah!”
“PILLOW ATTACK!” He giggled as he lobbed the rest of them in our direction.
“I’m so—”
“I see how it is.” Jake loomed closer, sending Noah into a near-delirious shriek that someone was joining in on his crazy fun.
I’d barely blinked before the pair of them were in an all-out war. Cushions and soft toys flew across the room. Zog sailed through the air and hit the wall.
At one point, Jake launched Noah over his shoulder and dived onto the sofa, narrowly missing the coffee table.
Noah’s energy was boundless, but never quite like this, bouncing off another person until he was near combustible.
He’d run out of steam soon enough, but his joy was the balm we all seemed to need, and I couldn’t stop smiling.
“Alright, while you two do that, I’m gonna make some calls and order pizza.”
“PIZZA!” Noah screeched again, before more hell broke loose.
Pizza and thirty minutes of Toy Story later, Noah fell asleep. I put him to bed mostly clothed, then checked my phone for updates from Maggie’s daughter. It might be hours before I heard anything, but worry still ballooned inside me.
I gave myself a minute to freak out along with a few calming breaths, then rejoined Jake in the living room.
He’d cleared the dining table, flattened the cardboard pizza box for recycling, and put my roses in a vase of water. Now he nosed around, peering at all the photographs, books, and random knick-knacks.
My stomach pretzeled into a fluttery mess of nerves. A handsome man was here in my flat, staring at my things like he was genuinely interested in what they had to say about me.
What if he doesn’t like what they have to say?
What if he doesn’t like what I have to say either?
What if I say something embarrassing?
“How old were you here?” Jake picked up the photograph of the day I gave birth.
I guess I’m about to find out.