Chapter 12 #2
“Noah,” I tried again. “Can you come here please? Your toast is getting cold.”
Silence persisting was never a good sign. It usually meant mischief was afoot, proven only by the loud, “Fucking hell!” that echoed out ten seconds later.
Shit.
I raced into the hallway, surprised to find the bathroom door wide open, steam pouring out from the shower still running full blast and—
Oh. My. God.
My gaze simultaneously widened and darted across the scene in front of me, unsure where to look first, or if I should’ve been looking at all because…
Wow.
Jake stood naked in the bathtub, his hair soapy white with shampoo and sticking up in all directions, skin soaking wet. He cupped his cock with both hands, but the rest of his body was on full display, and I actually gulped at the sight, mouth dry.
So fucking hot.
He was a map of strength and sinew, pecs and biceps more sculpted than the last time I saw his bare chest, and arousal surged through me at the gorgeous picture he made, the way his muscles tensed.
They’d tense like that doing other things too…
Skin more tanned than expected, I could see the contrast now, considerably paler from his hips down to his thighs, presumably from his travels.
The knowledge of that felt explicit for some reason.
An electric shock of detail I shouldn’t know, but now that patch of pale skin would plague my mind for days. Months.
Forever.
“Ellie?”
I yanked my gaze away, not even discreet about it. Usually, I was so good at hiding my real thoughts and feelings, concealing those truths, but one look at Jake’s hot, sculpted body and all that practiced ambivalence melted away.
If Jake wasn’t aware I’d been ogling him, he definitely knew now.
Oh god.
“Right. Yeah.”
Noah, meanwhile, sat on the tiled gap between the bathtub and the wall where I kept all of our toiletries and a plastic tub of his bath toys. He clutched the shower curtain, peering up at me with those innocent eyes somehow completely at odds with the sneaky grin decorating his face.
“Noah, what are you doing?” Now that my brain was back online, I rushed over and pulled him away, letting the shower curtain fall back into place. “Jake, I’m so sorry.”
“It’s fine. My fault for forgetting to lock the door.”
“No. Noah knows he shouldn’t be in here when someone else is. Don’t you?”
My son pouted. “But I want to talk to Jake.”
“That’s sweet, buddy,” he said.
Water splashed against the tiles, presumably as he rinsed the shampoo from his hair. There was something so intimate about hearing that, knowing what I did now.
“See!”
“No. You can’t walk into the bathroom when other people are using it. It’s rude.”
“But I do with you.”
“Yes, but I’m your mum and I said it’s okay. Jake never said it was okay. You have to get permission first.”
There was a whole conversation about consent brewing here, but all I wanted to do was flee the scene like a crime had been committed. I wasn’t the one naked and exposed, but my blood boiled and thrummed and screamed otherwise.
“What do you say to Jake?”
Noah’s chin dropped. “I’m sorry.”
“Thanks, kid.”
“I’m—” My voice came out all pitchy, stumbling over the mental image of Jake still naked and soaping himself up behind that curtain, touching himself in all the ways I never would, and I cleared my throat to start over. “I’m sorry again. We’ll leave you to it.”
Jake chuckled, and I didn’t want to think about what that meant. I dragged Noah from the room and slammed the door behind us, letting out a breath of relief at the cooler air against my skin.
So fucking hot.
Things were a bit awkward in the days following The Shower Incident, which I’d expected.
Awkward was my middle name.
Jake carried on as normal, like it was an everyday thing to be caught ass-naked in front of your friend and roommate, but I struggled to meet his eye without blushing.
Remembering.
It was aggravating in a way I’d never experienced.
Why can’t I be normal?
So he caught me checking him out. Hardly a big deal. Why couldn’t I share a secret, knowing smile, and shrug it off like most people would?
Why do I have to be like this?
With another irritated huff, I finished my cool-down stretches, then rolled up my yoga mat. Forty minutes of Pilates in the tranquil of my bedroom hadn’t left me feeling any more relaxed, and I’d run out of excuses to keep me occupied now that Noah was tucked up in bed.
I swiped the sweat from my brow and gulped down half a bottle of water, annoyed at myself all over again.
Time to get a bloody grip.
After a quick shower and my usual skincare routine, I plucked my annoying chin hairs with a reckless speed I’d probably regret tomorrow—thanks PCOS!—and headed back to my bedroom to get changed, only to freeze at the sight of Jake fiddling with the internet router in the hallway.
He glanced up at the sound of my approach, smiled, looked back at whatever he was doing, then did another double-take, immediately shooting upright.
Barely two feet apart, we stared at each other; him clutching his iPad, and me clutching the knot of my purple towel fastened precariously between my breasts.
The air shifted.
“Oh. Hey.”
“Hi,” he said, voice deep and honeyed.
His gaze travelled a slow path across my bare shoulders and legs still glistening from my oil and moisturiser, and my skin tingled as if I’d been touched.
I held my breath, waiting, wondering what he thought of me, and if he liked what he saw.
I didn’t hate my body, but this was the first time I’d been so undressed in front of a man. Noah’s father hadn’t even taken my knickers off before we had sex that one and only time. He’d simply shoved them aside and got straight to fumbling.
Now, here in the dim light, I grew brutally aware of the bareness of everything, how one wrong move could send the towel sliding, and there wouldn’t be hiding anything anymore.
Too lovely to be hidden away from the world, Maggie had said.
But Maggie wasn’t Jake, and this…
This was different.
“I guess we’re even,” he said.
“Even?”
“Well, you saw me naked in the shower, and now you’re…” He gestured vaguely at my body.
I clamped my towel tighter. “I’m not naked. You’ve not seen anything. Whereas, I saw… I mean—”
“What did you see, Ellie?” Jake looked absolutely delighted by the turn of conversation.
“You know what I saw. You were there.”
“Eh. I tried my best to keep everything covered but, unfortunately, I’ve been known to let a ball escape. Once or twice.”
It was so unexpected, the laugh left me in a huffy rush. “They have a life of their own, do they?”
“Sometimes.” His grin was wicked, blazing, and I gave in to the urge to match it. Charming, impossible man.
“Oh my god, you’re ridiculous.”
“If it makes you laugh and gets you looking me in the eye again, I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
My shoulders sagged. “So you noticed.”
“Of course I did.”
“I’m sorry. You must think I’m so immature.”
His smile disappeared. “Not at all.”
“I’d understand if you did. I let my shyness get the better of me sometimes. I can’t help it. I know it’s ridiculous. I mean, how dumb is it to avoid you because you saw that I saw you naked.”
“So you agree you saw me naked.”
“Don’t worry. I didn’t see the goods.”
“And what might those goods be?”
“You’re pushing your luck.”
He chuckled at that. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think you’re immature. I don’t think it’s dumb or ridiculous. You’re shy and you get easily embarrassed about things that maybe others don’t get embarrassed about. I don’t care about that.”
“I do,” I grumbled. “I hate it.”
“You shouldn’t. It’s part of who you are, so in the end you’re just hating yourself and I won’t stand for that. I like you too much.”
“Oh.”
My heart fluttered. No man had ever said that to me. I stood taller, like the power of it activated my spine.
Jake reached for me, like he wanted to squeeze my hand, but changed his mind, clenching into a fist and letting it flop back to his side. “Can we be okay now? I… Well, I’ve missed you.”
Everything spiralled inside me again. “I’ve been right here.”
“Not exactly. You started to hide away again and I didn’t like it. I like it when you look at me.”
Blood roared in my ears.
I didn’t understand how Jake seemed to understand these parts of me, seemed to know what I was doing before I’d even acknowledged it myself, but maybe this was what it felt like to be truly seen.
I swallowed down the thickness of that thought.
“Then yeah,” I said softly. “We’re okay.”
“Good. Now that’s out of the way, I have to ask. What are those things under your eyes and that star on your chin?”
I patted at my face and realised I’d spent the last five minutes not only wearing a skimpy towel, but also gold under-eye patches and a pink pimple patch.
“Great, that’s great.”
Jake’s laugh rang soft and light. “Seriously, what do they do?”
“The star stops you from picking at spots and helps with inflammation, and these are supposed to be good for de-puffing and brightening dark circles.”
“I’m not sure why you’re wearing all of that at your grand old age of twenty-five, but can I get some of those? I need it.”
“Apparently, you’re supposed to start an anti-aging regimen after the age of twenty-one.”
“Twenty-one? Can they not let us live? Jesus.”
I giggled, feeling lighter than I had in days. “Let me get changed and I’ll bring them out to you.”
“Maybe they can de-age me while we watch TV.”
“They’re not miracle workers, Jake.”
“Hey! Now who’s being cheeky.”
I paused at my bedroom door to shoot him a grin. “I learned from the best.”