Chapter 13
JAKE
Despite the subtle shift from the cooler weather, it was surprising how fast January slipped into March pretty much unnoticed. I wasn’t sure what the fuck happened to February.
Six whole weeks of successfully looking after a four-year-old.
For some reason, I wanted to shout the achievement from the rooftops, even though billions of people did it every day without celebration. But considering my child-minding experience went from zero to full-time nanny overnight, I was pretty proud of myself for making it this far.
Proud, but mostly relieved that Ellie’s trust in me wasn’t for nothing. When I spared a thought to how much she probably had to convince herself to put Noah’s care in my hands, it left me feeling uncomfortable and unsettled in ways I still couldn’t fully grasp.
That trust meant something, more than it ever had.
I’d always assumed life with a kid was a mundane road of monotony, and in some aspects it was—I didn’t like the early mornings, and the nonstop questions were a daily test of patience—but every day was also something new.
Watching Noah discover things, seeing his face light up with joy and excitement was something I’d never considered as anything close to enjoyable.
But here I was, enjoying myself.
Fucking mind-blowing.
Of course it hadn’t all been smooth sailing.
Noah was partial to an overtired temper tantrum, something I still struggled to handle, and in the last week he’d developed an aversion to strawberries, but not strawberry yogurt, and refused to eat anything else on his plate at lunch because they were touching the rest of the food and that was gross, okay?
On top of that, he had a complete absence of boundaries, which led to the whole shower incident where Ellie saw every naked inch of me.
I was confident in my body, and not a prude, but the way she’d looked at me, like I was a work of art meant to be studied, had me feeling all turned around. I expected her shock and embarrassment, but she’d also been impressed and…
Curiosity might’ve killed the cat, but it did great things to my boner.
If Ellie had stared at me any longer, she would’ve had more than an eyeful. She would’ve seen the whole fucking show.
Maybe part of me would’ve enjoyed that in different, decidedly more child-free circumstances.
Okay, so maybe Ellie wasn’t so firmly in the friend column these days. I could admit that, to myself at least.
In truth, she was intoxicating in ways I’d never experienced. I was a restless person who grew bored easily, always needing to be on the move, but things were different with Ellie. The more time we spent together, the more I noticed, the more I learned.
The more I wanted to learn.
Her shampoo smelled like peppermint, and she only wore perfume when she left the house. She was reserved with her smiles, especially in public, and it felt like the greatest honour when she graced me with one that reached her eyes.
Every night she said goodnight to her mum’s photograph, and I’d also heard her talk about her day or something special Noah said or did, usually recounting whatever fun fact I’d scribbled on a post-it note, leaving me wrecked in more ways than one.
Every day she wore colours that reminded me of pale ice cream scoops, fresh and bright and always drawing my eye, even if she sometimes looked like she’d rather be invisible. It was a contradiction I couldn’t figure out, but one I desperately wanted to.
Our daily texting sessions had become my favourite thing, opening up a side Ellie had never shown me before. But wasn’t that why I started it? To lure her out of her shell without all the pressure of a face-to-face conversation?
I wanted her to be comfortable around me, and if that meant burying this attraction, then hand me a fucking shovel.
Ellie
So I saw something online that might be fun to try.
Jake
I’m listening…
Ellie
It’s a 100 movies bucket list poster where you scratch off every one you watch. Whenever we can’t sleep, we could work our way through the movies together.
There’s also ones Noah could watch with us. He’d like that. Only if you wanted to. No pressure!
Jake
That sounds perfect. Sign me up.
Let’s not wait until we can’t sleep though. That time should be strictly for serial killer documentaries.
Ellie
I did sleep pretty good after that.
Jake
Me too. Should we be worried?
Ellie
Let’s both say no and not think about it.
Jake
Deal.
Weekends were for chores, or so Ellie told me, so I sat cross-legged on the floor with a basket of clean laundry, folding then rolling my clothes for space-saving efficiency.
As a seasoned couch-surfer, I’d made an art of living out of a backpack and cultivating space where there was none.
Ellie padded into the living room carrying a bucket of cleaning supplies, all freshly showered and ponytailed, wearing my favourite pair of faded jeans that framed her heart-shaped ass to perfection, and a grey Spice Girls t-shirt that had seen better days.
She’d knotted it at the waist, drawing the material snug across her tits.
I held back a groan.
Another torture to contend with. Ellie did not like wearing bras when she was indoors, so every day I was confronted with the full slope of her tits and, from what I could tell, they were fucking fantastic. Not huge, but not small either, just right for her frame. The Goldilocks of Tits.
She was barefoot too. Last night, while she watched Trainspotting, I watched her paint her toes bubblegum pink, like my own private show.
I wasn’t sure when I’d developed a lust for painted toes, but the urge to suck on one of them right now was overpowering.
What is happening to me?
“Noah is playing Schools in his room,” Ellie said, oblivious to my aching dick and all these thoughts of tits and sucking. “He’s very angry with his class today. Told off Zog and everything.”
“He plays angry teacher all the time. He was fuming when he called out the register the other day.”
“He gets angry playing Doctor too.”
“And Postman.”
“Maybe I should keep an eye on that,” Ellie said with a laugh.
I grinned, watching her gather everything that could collect dust and dump it on the sofa before drifting around and polishing all the empty surfaces. She hummed while she worked, but her easy smile disappeared at the sight of my rolled up piles of clothes.
“Okay, I can’t look at this any longer.”
“Oh.” I froze mid-fold. This was the last thing I expected, and I couldn’t believe the disappointment rising inside me at the prospect of having to leave. “I can check into a hotel tonight if you want.”
“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant. I’m talking about you living out of your backpack and having to pull everything out and shove it all away again, every single day. It’s getting ridiculous.”
“Ah.” It was the sweet, thoughtful side of Ellie I’d grown to care about a lot, so I didn’t have the heart to tell her I spent most of my life that way. “What do you suggest?”
“I’ve cleared space in my chest of drawers and there’s some spare hangers in the wardrobe too.”
I glanced at my growing pile of rolled-up t-shirts, and maybe it would be nice to live a bit more normally. For a few weeks at least.
“Thanks. I accept your terms, Miss Brooks.”
She beamed, all bouncy and satisfied that she’d won her case, and resumed dusting all the shelves while I shoved my clean clothes back in the basket and carried it to Ellie’s bedroom. No time like the present.
Her perfume still lingered, something floral and summery that my dick liked. Her bed was stripped bare ready for fresh bedding, and I had to strangle the desire to throw her on top of it instead. The image alone was a tempting line I couldn’t cross.
Fuck.
Where was I again?
That’s right. Clothes.
There were two drawer units though, so I set the basket on the floor and wrenched open the top drawer.
“No, not that one!” Ellie shrieked from the doorway.
I didn’t understand the panic until I caught sight of the surprising collection of objects inside.
My grin widened slowly.
Well, well, well.
Before I could smother the impulse, I plucked the purple vibrator and waved it in the air. It was basic compared to the other toys; hard, unyielding plastic with a wavy shaft, but a good eight inches, at least.
Damn.
“What’s this?”
The question didn’t need asking, but I was an asshole distracted by my baser instincts and the swift, all-consuming need to see Ellie’s reaction. She was so shy, I hadn’t considered she had the courage to even buy a sex toy, let alone a bunch of them.
To use it too?
Holy fuck.
My cock swelled at the torrent of images.
Ellie spreading her legs wide.
Pressing the vibrator against her clit.
Bucking and rolling her hips at the sensation, the wet sound muffled by the sheets.
Fuck fuck fuck.
I couldn’t be thinking about her like that, and yet I couldn’t stop. Knowing Ellie fucked herself in this way, desperate for her own pleasure, had me sweating. I needed a moment to myself. Maybe even five.
Has she done it while I’ve been here?
The thought of her fucking herself while I’ve been across the hall was almost too much to bear.
For her part, Ellie froze for a full thirty seconds, her eyes flared wider than I thought anatomically possible, and I didn’t know a face could turn so red. I’d never understood likening blush to the colour of a tomato but now it made perfect sense.
“Oh my god,” she screeched, finally coming back to herself and storming over. “Why are you waving that around?”
“You’re right, I could poke an eye out with this.”
She flailed a bit, trying to snatch it from me, but she was too short and I was enjoying this far too much.
“This is so embarrassing.”
“No, it’s not. It’s perfectly normal. I’m actually glad I found this. I need to know you’re getting some satisfaction.”
“Why—” She halted, arms falling immediately to her sides, and damn, I’d said too much. “Why do you need to know that?”
“Because you don’t date and everyone deserves to feel pleasure, Ellie.”