Chapter 15
Chapter Fifteen
EVIE
"Fucking kiss me," he growls.
Crawling onto his lap, I straddle him as he kisses me mercilessly. Maddox's mouth is demanding and hot. The tip of his tongue traces the lines in the roof of my mouth, making me tremble.
"That's it, baby, take what you want," he hisses against my lips. "Fucking take it."
I didn't realize I had started grinding on him. I quickly unclasp my bra and pull it off. Maddox swallows hard, keeping his hands in the same position from earlier. I feel a sense of power knowing that he won't move them until I tell him to do so. Maddox is letting me claim that piece of myself back. The realization hits me square in the chest.
"Look at me." With one look at his face, I know he understands without me needing to say a thing. The fact that he can see through me so well once bothered me, but now it's something I look forward to. I can feel him caressing those scars I thought would never heal like fingers on a book as they lovingly stroke each page taking their time to feel the rough edges and still appreciate their beauty. "You will always be in charge here. This is your show Evie, and I’m your puppet on a string. If we stop right now, I’ll take you back to the couch and cuddle the fuck out of you until you feel asleep.”
Rolling my hips on his thick cock, I cup my heavy breast. I have no intention of stopping, I want this man as much as my next breath. I moan his name as I pinch my nipples, grinding myself harder on him when I hear a loud rip—halting my movements. With a quick look over his broad shoulder, I see Maddox has ripped a huge hole in my bed sheet.
"Don't you dare stop." His hard body trembles with need, and his eyes are watching where I rub myself on him, and damn, it’s the sexiest thing I've ever seen.
"That's it, baby, grind that hot little pussy on me until you come."
"That damn mouth of yours," I breathe.
Maddox gives me a knowing smirk. "You're going to let me eat that pussy aren't you, baby? Going to let me turn you out with my tongue before fucking making you detonate on my cock." I come apart at his filthy words.
“So damn beautiful," Maddox murmurs, kissing my neck.
Putting my forehead against his, I catch my breath before standing. I slowly pull my panties down, his eyes devouring every inch of me. His gaze settles on my scars, and I instinctively cover them with my hands.
Maddox gives me a sharp look. "Eves, move your hands."
"Mad—"
"Be proud, baby."
Be proud of those scars, Evie, because you fucking made it. I slowly move my hands and stand a little straighter, remembering our night in the bathroom.
"You’re damn right. That's my girl. Now, come sit that pretty pussy on my face. "
Instead of doing what he asks, I climb on his lap and line him up with my wet center.
"Evie.” His voice is uncertain, making me pause. "Condom."
I stop him before he even has the chance to stand. "We don’t need it," I say, my tone more confident than I feel.
He looks at me, those green eyes searching mine for any sign of doubt. "Are you sure?"
“Absolutely.” His thick cock twitches in anticipation, and I lower my hips, taking the head of his fat cock.
He's long and thick, and I haven’t had sex since the twins were conceived, and that wasn't even consensual, so I don’t count it. I slowly sink down a few more inches, the sharp intake of air and tears that sting my eyes are unavoidable as he stretches me wide, I feel like I'm being torn apart. My vagina may never recover from this.
"Breathe Evie, breathe with me baby," Maddox says in a strained voice.
"T-touch me,” I pant.
"Fucking finally," he growls as his mouth latches on to my nipple while his hand flies to my clit, and before long, the burning ache gives way to white hot pleasure, and I slowly lower myself until he finally bottoms out inside me.
Maddox's hands move and tighten on my waist. "Look at you take me so good." He picks me up, dropping me fully on his thick cock. I feel fucking crazed.
Is this what good dick is? Because if so Oh. My. God. I’ve never experienced pleasure like this in my life. Maddox sets the pace, handling me as if I weigh nothing and when he hits that special spot, I roughly pull his hair and moan his name.
"Touch yourself Evie, work that greedy clit for me.” Maddox is fixated on where he’s slamming into me and once my hand finds my clit, I clench around him, and his dark gaze finds mine. “That’s it, choke my cock with that pussy baby.”
Removing my hand from my clit, I shove my slick fingers deep into his mouth, he sucks my fingers moaning, and I come so hard my vision blurs. Maddox begins fucking into me harder, his movements becoming frantic, and I know he's close.
I tug on the nape of his hair and whisper in his ear, "Come for me Big Guy.”
That pushes him over the edge, and I have to slap a hand over his mouth as he comes. Despite being a man of few words, he’s very vocal in bed. Removing my hand, I collapse on top of his sweaty chest. Both of us are out of breath. A thick arm wraps around me holding me close. After a few moments, Maddox moves, and I wince as he removes himself from me. As he moves to get up, I begin to protest. "I'm just going to clean you up."
I can't get up. My legs feel like wet noodles, and I'm prone to falling asleep at any moment, so I decide to wait until I heard the shower start before getting up. Except I don’t hear the shower start. What I feel is kisses littering down my spine, down my ass cheek. "What’re you doing?"
"Cleaning you up."
With that, he begins lazily licking my pussy where his cum and mine have seeped out. It’s the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.
"Maddox," I hiss as he sticks his tongue deep inside me.
"Give me one more," he murmurs into my pussy as he gently laps at my swollen clit.
After Maddox wrings one more from my tired body, we enjoy a hot shower, where Maddox washes me from head to toe—lavishing me with affection. An invite to sleep over slips from my lips, and before I can process it, Maddox pulls me into bed with him.
This is new for me. I’m used to sleeping alone unless the boys are in bed with me. The last man I shared a bed with terrified me. I’ve never shared a bed with someone who makes me feel safe and secure. This is uncharted territory for me.
"Eves, I can hear your mind going ninety to nothing. How do you usually sleep? "
"On my stomach."
Maddox kisses my lips. "Flip over, woman, and get some rest."
Getting off him, I move to my stomach and almost moan. Comfort wraps me up like an old friend, and I feel a long arm snake under my pillow, locking fingers with mine, and a heavy leg is thrown over mine as a sigh of contempt slips from my lips.
"Maddox?" I ask quietly, not quite ready to close my eyes.
"Yeah Pretty Girl?"
"How old are you?"
"Forty-two." Damn, he looked good for forty-two.
His deep laugh vibrates my back. "I'm just fucking with you. I'm thirty-five." Eight years older than me.
"What's your favorite color?"
"Black." His finger begins drawing lazy circles on my back.
"Guilty pleasure?"
"My mama's pecan bars, and watching you dance around the kitchen when you cook. My turn, Pretty Girl. Tell me about your dreams for your future.”
Dreams? Nobody has ever asked me my dreams.
“You’ll think it’s silly.”
The circling stops and he rolls me over to face him. “I would never. Try me.”
I trace all the hard lines of his chest and up the column of his throat. "I dream of having a place like Joe’s, where everyone who steps through the door feels like family,” I pause and quietly tell him the dream I held dearest to me, the one I felt I had already failed. “ More than anything, I want to give my boys a safe, happy life, a place they can always call home."
Maddox gently traces the side of my face. “That’s not silly.”
I hum my response and rest my head on his chest while he traces the freckles on my arm. Then I ask the question that has been on my mind for a while now. "What happened to your ex-wife?"
Maddox's body becomes rigid .
"I'm sorry, you don't have to answer that," I say softly.
"Eves…" I feel him take a deep breath and he begins playing with my hair. "Allison had a habit of loving drugs more than being a wife or mother. After I threw her out, she took anything she could pawn for a score and left. I haven't seen her since."
"You have no idea where she is?" I ask as I find myself worrying about a woman I've never met.
"Fuck no."
My heart breaks. I understand his anger, but she also lost a child and herself along the way.
"After Livvy was born, she struggled with postpartum issues. The doctor prescribed her some meds and from there, her addiction began." I wiggle, needing to look at his handsome face. He takes his heavy leg from mine, and I turn in his arms and stroke his face.
"I would come home from the gym and Livvy would be screaming and crying in her crib and Allison would just sit there and say, 'Shut her up'." His big body shudders and squeezes me tighter to him. "After a lot of urging, I finally convinced her to go back to the doctor and that's when she got diagnosed with postpartum depression. It got better for a bit, but she struggled to bond with Liv. Told me it was my fault because she preferred me."
"Maddox, you know that's not true right?"
He gives me a grim smile. "I do, but every time she said it, I felt like I had done something wrong because she was Liv's mother, and they should have had the bond we did."
"That's not always the case. Maybe, Allison may have felt that way because you were able to be there in a way she wasn't able to be."
He places a tender kiss on my temple. "Maybe Pretty Girl, maybe."
"One afternoon I got a call at the gym from one of our neighbors. Allison had been playing outside with Livvy and the next second Allison was gone, and Livvy was alone in the yard. Our neighbors picked her up and called me. I got home and Allison was laid beside the bed with a belt tied on her arm and a needle in her hand."
His grasp on my thigh tightens.
"What did you do?" I ask in a small voice. My heart ached for him.
"I packed her a bag and put her the fuck out," he grates out as his grasp on my thigh becomes painful.
"Ouch!"
Maddox instantly pulls his hand away, his eyes wide with concern. "I?—"
I place his hand back on my thigh and give him a tender kiss. "It's okay. I'm not made of glass Maddox, I won't break." I take a page from him and grasp his strong jaw in my hand, looking deep into his green eyes. "But maybe one day you'll look for Allison, because one day that big heart you hide from everyone," I brush my fingers over his racing heart, "Won't allow you to blame her or yourself anymore and then you'll realize no matter what had happened between you or how deep into addiction she was, Allison lost her baby too, Maddox."
"Told you you’re sunshine, fucking sunshine," he growls before kissing me deeply.
Sleep comes easier than I expected and it's not until Maddox wakes me with his tongue buried deep between my legs that I realize I slept through the whole night. Attempting to wiggle away, Maddox yanks me back to his mouth and grumbles something about not disrupting his breakfast again. Only Maddox would associate eating my pussy with breakfast and I can't help but throw my head back and laugh.
Maddox stops and looks up at me intently. "Fuck, I love...to hear you laugh."
I swallow as my chest blooms with emotion. Maddox doesn't love me....right?
Maddox's cock isn’t a magic wand that instantly healed me fixing the damage within. A part of me feels lighter than I have in years, but it isn’t from how he can play my body like a fine-tuned instrument, wringing my body of pleasure again and again. It’s the trust he shows me in letting me be in control, and I feel a small piece of myself has been restored, something deep down has snapped back into place.
How had I not noticed the subtle changes? When was the first time he touched me, and I didn't flinch away? When did my heart decide to accept the beautiful destruction that is Maddox Wilder?
"Are you struggling with the fact you climbed that man like a tree or are you trying to determine how you let him close enough to shake your world up?" Tired eyes and a warm smile greet me across the counter.
"I swore off all men, Joe."
Joe chuckles into her coffee cup before giving me an amused look. "God laughed at that shit too, didn't he?"
"Joe," I groan, putting my head in my hands.
"Listen to me, Evie." Joe sets her coffee cup down and cups my face in her wrinkled hands. "The right kind of love will fuck your world up in the best way. It will fill you up completely, but it will never drown or own you. You're not afraid of Maddox anymore because he's earned your trust, and your heart accepted him because deep down, you know he's the half that makes you whole. It won't be easy. I got a feelin' you two might give Lou and Henny a run for their money, but I promise you it's worth it. Every argument, orgasm, and tear. Is so damn worth it."
"Let's not talk about orgasms Joe, please." Joey’s the closest thing I have to a mother and every time she talks about sex I cringe.
"Don't be such a square. You remind me of my dead husband. I could say the word coochie and he'd have a fit. "
"Come on, Joe!"
"Come on, hell! What feels good when you are young still feels good when you’re old, Evie. Matter of fact, I orgasm better now than I ever did when I was your age. Experienced coochie and all that jazz." She winks at me.
I can’t look Joe in the face without laughing as we knock out the breakfast rush, but I know she’s right Maddox has shaken my world up in the best way.
As I sit on the back porch that night enjoying the cool night air, I can’t help but reflect on these past few months with a smile on my face. Life doesn’t seem bleak as hell anymore, and I don’t feel as diluted down by my past as I had before Maddox came into our lives. I feel stronger and more alive than I ever have. It isn’t just Maddox who has pushed me through wall after wall in creating this new outlook on myself and life. Fear only has the power I give it, and I’m done feeding it. I’m not sure what the future holds but I know I will take it in stride with my chin held high.