Chapter 13
thirteen
DAVIS
In the span of a couple of weeks, Sasha has transformed into the person I knew she could be, the Sasha she’s hidden from everyone but me. The sarcastic, fun, kind girl who can capture anyone’s heart if she just gave them a chance to get to know her.
The more time she spends in this house, the more I fall in love with her, and the more I feel the need to bury my feelings.
She needs these people like I do, and I can’t bring myself to risk her losing them just because my heart can’t get itself under control. If we were to start something, and it ended badly, she may not have them anymore. That’s something I wouldn’t be able to live with.
I know almost nothing about this girl, but what I do know is that she’s a kind of broken that only time can heal.
Whatever’s happened, whoever hurt her, there’s nothing I can do to help unless she lets me.
She has to choose to let me in, and right now…
I’m still hopelessly staring through the window from the outside.
The beer in my hands is still untouched, slowly growing warmer with every second that passes because I’m too distracted by Sasha giggling at Miller and Blair arguing in the kitchen.
“I went last time,” Miller groans, “it’s your turn, asshole.”
Blair cracks open the last can of shitty beer we have in the fridge and downs it in one go. “And I’ve officially had too much to drink, can’t drive a car under the influence,” he winks.
Miller’s face goes beet red, that ultra-soft teddy bear facade long gone as he clenches his fists at his sides.
“I can go,” Claire offers, attempting to sit up from Lucas’s lap but he pulls her back into his arms. “Really, I don’t mind,” she reassures him.
Both boys turn to her. “No,” they say simultaneously.
Sasha’s giggle fit doubles, and while she tries her hardest to hide it, it only draws their attention to the girl who has my heart in an iron grip.
It’s not until they’re both standing over her that she finally notices and bites her lip to keep herself under control. “What?” She asks innocently.
“You haven’t had a drop to drink,” Blair smirks.
“Oh boy, here we go,” August sighs. “Don’t let them convince you, Sash, this is between them and them alone.”
“Stay out of this,” Blair points accusingly.
Miller gets down on his knees —yes, his god damn knees— and starts to beg Sasha. “Please, we’re out of beer and we need more.”
“Yes, we need more,” Blair echoes, following in Miller’s footsteps and joining him on the ground.
“You sound like alcoholics,” Steph laughs, “no one needs beer that bad.” Both of their gazes snap to her, and she holds her hands up in surrender before they turn back to Sasha.
Now, a nice guy may intervene here, and I probably would if I wasn’t thoroughly entertained by my roommates making complete ass’s out of themselves.
“Please, I’ll even give you my keys,” Blair continues, scrambling to his feet to snatch the car keys that are sitting on the counter and tossing them onto her lap.
Sasha stares down at the keys like they’ll burst into flames, all signs of lighthearted fun out the window as a dark shadow casts over her face.
Her entire body freezes, completely locked up, and the only person who seems to notice is me.
So I throw her a lifeline, “I can go.”
Blair and Miller both nod enthusiastically, so I stand off the couch and grab the keys off of Sasha’s lap and watch her blow out a breath. Her eyes meet mine, appreciation and relief clear as she mouths the words ‘thank you’.
I wink at her, knowing that we will be having a conversation about what just happened.
I won’t push, I never will, because I know how it feels to be pressured into talking about something you aren’t ready to talk about.
But I will always leave the door open for her.
So with Blair’s keys in my hand, I walk out the front door and unlock his car. I’m barely touching the handle when I hear footsteps padding on the concrete behind me.
I expect it to be Sasha, but when I turn around, I see Lucas standing there instead.
“You saw that, right?” He says.
I nod tightly, “yeah.”
He eyes me for a second, gauging what, exactly? I’m not sure. “She trusts you,” he finally says, “use your head and figure out what she was saying back there, and then be there for her.”
“But she wasn’t saying anything.”
“Yes, Davis. She was.”
It’s not until I’m putting three cases of beer into the back of Blair’s car that the gears in my head start to turn.
I start to see what Lucas was talking about.
And the fact that he understood before I did makes me want to wrap my hands around his throat.
She’s terrified of cars.
How the fuck could I be so god damn stupid?
Her brother died in a car accident, she always turns down my offers to give her a ride, shuts down whenever someone brings up the idea of her getting into a car and avoids the topic at all costs.
Of course she’s scared of cars.
Hell, I would be too if the person closest to me in this entire world died in one.
Jesus.
Slamming the trunk closed, I get into the car as fast as I can and rip out of the parking lot. The second I park in the driveway, I say fuck the beer and book it into the house, searching for a pair of grey eyes.
I find them almost instantly.
“Pixie,” I strangle out, rushing towards her and throwing my arms around her. “I’ve got you,” I whisper, ignoring the looks the others are throwing in our direction.
Her arms wrap around my waist, squeezing tightly as her body wracks with tremors I know are a result of the tears staining my shirt right now. “You figured it out, didn’t you?”
Pressing a kiss to the top of her head, I keep her close. “I did, but not without a little help from a perceptive friend of mine.”
Lucas is a weird dude. He seems to have everyone figured out except for the girl he calls his own.
I mean, the guy was as blind as a bat when it came to what was going on with Claire, her feelings for him included. But everyone else? He can sense something’s up from a mile away and figure out what that something is with minimal detail.
Even though I still hate him a little for seeing what I couldn’t, I have to be thankful.
“Don’t let go,” she mumbles when I try to pull away.
Lucas clears his throat, “let’s give them a second.”
“But the beer—“
“Move it,” Lucas commands, shoving the rest of the gang upstairs and giving me a proud smile before following suit.
When the coast is clear, Sasha tilts her head to look up at me. Her cheeks are bright red and splotchy, fresh tears still streaking down her face with the most gut-wrenching smile plastered on her lips.
“You could have told me,” I say, using my thumb to brush the tears off her face.
“And have you looking at me like you are now?” She chuckles, “never.”
Call me demented, or fucked in the head, but all I want to do in this moment is kiss her like no one ever has. The way she’s looking up at me like I could protect her from anything has my heart thudding in my chest faster than ever before.
Whether we make it out of this never-ending loop or not, I know that I’d do anything for this girl. I’d put my life on the line for her, anything to make sure she’s safe from the scary world outside these walls.
Actually, I’d live for this girl.
I’d do the one thing I’ve never wanted for as long as I can remember, because this girl breathes life into me whenever she’s near.
Sasha Price is the only thing I need to keep my heart pumping, lungs breathing, and head working.
“Can you do me a favour?” I ask.
“Anything.”
Christ.
“No more secrets, okay? I’m here, Pixie. I’m not going anywhere. You can’t scare me off.”
She bites her lip nervously, “you mean that?”
My hands cup both her cheeks, “I’ve never meant something more in my life.”
This girl scares the shit out of me, but it’s the kind of scared I’m continuously welcoming with open arms. She has all the power, I’m completely at her mercy and fuck am I here for it.
She’s the only thing I’ve ever been sure of.
Tomorrow has never been a guarantee for me, I never know if I’ll make it past today, but when it comes to her, I can’t help but think of the future.
Instead of spending my nights battling demons and fighting wars that only exist in my head, I’m thinking of what life could look like years down the line. Picturing her in a small house in the outskirts of town, looking out the window where kids are playing.
Laughing at the dinner table.
Dancing in the dark with nothing but the light from the fridge to illuminate her goddess-like features.
Giggling with two little ones under the blankets, reading stories from worlds far beyond ours.
All I can hope for is that I’m a part of that.
I dream to be a part of her story.
I press her head to my chest, holding her there and praying the world would stop for just a couple of minutes so I can hold her for a little longer. “You don’t have to tell me tonight, or tomorrow, or the day after that… but eventually we’re gonna have to talk about the uncomfortable things.”
She sighs, “that means you too, Johnny.”
I freeze.
“I lived with J my whole life, you aren’t as good at hiding it as you think you are.”
She knows.
She knows, and she didn’t run.
“You can’t get rid of me either, Johnny Davis.”