Chapter 17
seventeen
DAVIS
“You’re distracted,” Coach says gruffly, closing the door to his office.
I nod my head, “I know, coach.”
He takes a seat in the chair behind the desk, narrowing his eyes as he does so. “Well, figure it out with that girl of yours so you can focus. We have important games coming up, and I need my best players in the best shape.”
My jaw drops. How the-
“You all seem to forget that I’ve been doing this longer than most of you have been able to skate.” He reaches for the coffee mug on his desk, taking a long sip before continuing, “I know when one of you is all messed up in the head over a girl. You’re not nearly as good at hiding it as you think.”
“With all due respect, sir, I doubt you’ve had a situation like this before.”
He raises a brow, “Chris Taylor said the same thing some odd years ago, he was just as wrong then as you are now.”
Settling into my chair, I prepare for one of his long stories and a whole shit load of wisdom I know he’s about to dump on me.
“You hockey boys are all the same, thinking you’re above everyone else and that no one could possibly understand what you’re going through… well, surprise!” He places the mug back on his desk before clasping his hands and leaning in towards me, “I do.”
“Sir, I-“
“Johnny Davis, I have known you for almost four years now, and I know more than you might think. I’ve seen you at your highs and lows, and have spoken to your mother on countless occasions.”
My blood runs cold.
“I know all about what happened a couple of years ago, as well as your battle with depression up until you came to Livler. I never brought it up because I got the sense you didn’t want anyone to, but I’m more observant than you may think.
I see your performance on the ice shift when you’re having a bad week, you become more aggressive, you taunt the other players more, so you have an excuse to hit something. ”
Tony takes a deep breath, “I care about you, son, so listen up and listen good. You are not the first young man to be plagued by a first love, and freak out because of said first love. Chris sat exactly where you are now with a scared look in his eyes when he realized he was in love with Tash. He fought his feelings for months, treated the poor girl like shit because he was too afraid to admit that he could balance hockey and a girl, and until he sorted through that and got his head on straight, his performance suffered.”
Being compared to Chris is both the best and worst thing to have ever happened to me, mostly bad because I know that Tony’s saying my performance on the ice is taking a downward spiral.
And with all the scouts coming out, trying to find their next star, now is not the time to be losing my head over a girl.
“You know what’s at stake, so either get your head screwed on straight and ask the damn girl out, or lose her and focus back in on what you’ve worked so hard for.” The tiniest of smiles curves his lips, “Claire told me she’s good for you, so I’m rooting for the former.”
“I don’t even know where to start sir,” I sigh. “I’m all messed up in the head over her.”
“You grow a pair of balls and tell her how you feel, Davis. It really isn’t that hard of a concept to grasp.”
Easier said than done. I’ve been playing this stupid game for months, and somehow I think I’m still losing.
Walking out of his office, I feel worse than when I went in. I thought we were having a talk about the team, but instead we had a talk about my love life.
Fucking Claire. Of course she told Tony.
I’m gonna strangle that girl when I get home.
But I kind of did need to hear it. This stupid wishy-washy bullshit I’m doing isn’t fair to either of us, she deserves to have someone who’s all in or all out.
I probably deserve the same, but I can’t bring myself to care about what’s good for me when her well-being is right in front of me.
Turning the corner towards the lobby, I let my thoughts roam, trying to figure out how the hell I’m supposed to bring up this topic of conversation when a small body smacks into me and falls to the ground.
It takes me a second to register that Sasha is lying down in front of me, but the second it does, I fall to my knees next to her to make sure she’s okay.
“Shit, are you okay, Pixie?” I hear myself ask, my own voice barely recognizable over the sound of my heart thudding in my ears.
I don’t think I’ll ever get used to her looking at me with those damn grey eyes. They suck me in, threatening to never let me go, and I think I’m okay with that.
“What are you doing here?” My hand reaches out to pull her up onto her feet, but she doesn’t answer me right away.
Instead, she looks up at me like I’m the only person in the world.
It’s a feeling I never want to forget.
“I’m going to talk and you’re going to listen,” She says firmly, sidestepping my question and taking control.
“Whatever happens, however you react to what I’m about to do…
it’s okay. If you tell me to go away and you never want to see me again, I’ll be hurt, but I’ll be proud of myself for finally doing something that I want to do. ”
Tell her to go away?
Never want to see her again?
“What are you-“ but the words die on my lips the second she leans in… and fucking kisses me.
God, she’s so fucking perfect.
But the second I feel myself snap out of the pure shock from her kissing me, and want to lean further into the kiss, she pulls away.
What in the actual fuck just happened?
I blink a couple of times, reeling from that kiss. That perfect, blistering hot kiss that Sasha Price just stepped up and gave to me.
My heart thunders in my ears, pounding at a million miles an hour because the girl I’m hopelessly in love with just fucking kissed me.
That’s all I’ve ever wanted.
And I’m watching her walk away.
Fuck.
My feet instantly start to move, chasing her around the corner and grabbing her by the arm the second she’s within reach. I turn her around and thread my fingers through her hair before smashing my lips against hers.
Her hands grab onto my arms, grabbing tight as a small moan vibrates against my lips. I part my lips slightly and flick out my tongue, begging her to let me in….
And she does.
We move at a furious pace, emotions driving us to some sort of primal need. It’s hot, and heated, and filled with the tension that’s been building since I first stopped her in the quad that day.
Her tongue fights against mine, I bite her lower lip and she returns the favour. She runs her nails up my arm, and I grip her hair harder.
I don’t know how much time passes, but I do know that when I come up for air, I can only see her.
There’s a small streak where a tear fell down her cheek, and I realize that she thought I was going to let her walk away from me forever.
She likes me.
She kissed me.
My Little Pixie wants me.
“Hi” she rasps.
I smirk, “hi.”
She takes a step back from me and reaches up to tuck her black hair behind her ears, the same way she always does when she gets nervous.
“What do we do now?”
The smirk on my face blooms into a full-blown smile because that is the most ridiculous question ever. “I say we do that whole thing again.”
The blush on her cheeks is adorable.
The feel of her in my arms is so right, everything about this feels right, and I can’t help but curse myself for not growing the balls and kissing her sooner. All of this stupid time we’ve wasted could have been us being together.
Lucas smirks at me from the opposite side of the ice during warm-ups, and when I flip him off, his smirk turns into a massive grin accompanied by a deep laugh.
I haven’t told the guys what happened with Sasha, but when they walked into the rink and saw her and I talking in the stands… they could tell.
None of them pushed, knowing that I would share when I was ready.
“What’s going on with you?” One of my teammates asks, crouching down on the ice next to me to stretch.
I’m on top of the world.
I can’t imagine what’s going through their heads right now, all of these guys have only ever seen my mask of happiness. None of them —even my closest friends— have seen me in a place where I’m not fighting for my life every second of the day.
Nothing can ruin this for me, nothing can take me off the mountain top I’m standing on.
And even though I don’t want to say Tony was right… I think he was right. My head is clear for the first time in months, I’m completely focused on the game ahead of us, not worried about anything other than this moment right now.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I tell him, finishing the last of my stretches and skating away from him.
The crowd slowly files into the arena, decked out in Livler colours and merch. The excitement leaks onto the ice, so much so that I can physically feel the energy radiating off of them.
Hockey is probably the most supported athletic program at Livler. There hasn’t been a single home game since I started here where the stands weren’t packed.
For the first time ever, I take in where I am. I take in the fact that I’m alive, these people are here to watch me, I’m playing I game I love more than anything.
Everything is okay.
I’m okay.
I can breathe.
Life isn’t so bad once you find people who can make the bad days a little better. I have my friends, I have Sasha, and everything is going to work out.
“You took my advice,” Tony says, looking out to the ice as I approach the bench.
Nodding, I take a seat, “I did.” I don’t need to ask how he knows. At this point, I think I’ve learned the man knows all.
His lips turn up at the edges, eyes still forward. “It’s nice to finally meet you, Johnny Davis.”