Chapter Thirty-Two #2
My mom gave me a sideways glance. “What? Cameron didn’t even mention her.
And believe me, he wants to see Neil skinned alive, and that’s not just because he hates cheaters.
That man cares about you. He wilted like a flower when he reached for the ring and put it in his pocket.
If he had a dagger sticking out of his heart it couldn’t have been more obvious. ”
I scoffed, but my heart did a funny flip. “He was probably embarrassed. It was awful of me to lose my temper as I did. I’m sorry for what I said to you, Mom.”
Her face became serious again. “You had every right to say what you said. I deserved it. I know it’s too soon to ask for forgiveness, Susanne. But I will make you a promise: I will spend the rest of my days trying to make up for my mistakes and be a better mother to you. If you’ll let me.”
Our eyes held for a few long seconds. Then I did what I wanted to do for so many years.
I curled up into her arms, letting her cradle my head against her chest, in that place where I started and that would never get too small for me, no matter how old I was.
She rocked me gently, stroking my hair, whispering words of comfort while I closed my eyes and finally let down my guard.
How could I not forgive her when this was all I’d wanted all along?
To strengthen the bond with the woman I admired and was proud to be a part of.
If we had just talked sooner, we wouldn’t have wasted years apart.
But regret was pointless. All that was left now was to renew our relationship and make it better than ever.
We sat in silence for a while, comfortable in each other’s company, listening to the ticking of the wall clock.
“He loves you, you know.” Mom continued to stroke my hair softly.
I sat up slowly, confused. “Who? Neil?”
She shook her head, amused. “No, silly. Cameron.”
I guffawed. “Right. We met less than two weeks ago.”
Mom looked genuinely puzzled. “So what’s that have to do with the price of wine?
I fell in love with your father the moment we met.
When we shook hands for the first time, we stared at each other for so long our friends had to separate us.
They felt awkward, but we didn’t. We knew we’d met our soulmate.
Two days later he asked me to marry him, and here we are after thirty-four years. He is still the love of my life.”
“Yeah, but Dad’s Italian. Romance runs in his blood. Most men don’t fall in love so quickly, especially in our days.”
She watched me shrewdly. “Those who know what they want do, and Cameron strikes me as a man who knows what he wants.”
He was that, I couldn’t deny it. But from that to love it was a long way.
Hoping to distract my mother, I reached for the bag of cannoli and carried them to the kitchen, where I set them on plates. I returned with the plates and napkins, handing one of each to my mom.
She thanked me and I sat next to her again, biting into the delicious pastry. The combination of buttery dough and sweet ricotta cheese was a Band-aid of dopamine that seemed to shrink all my problems.
“So.” My mom took a tiny lady-like bite of her cannoli. “What exactly is the story of this fake engagement? I heard Cameron’s version, short as it was, but I also want to hear yours.”
I chewed and swallowed, blotting my mouth with the napkin.
“It’s quite a short story actually. After you told me you guys were coming over here and wanted to invite Neil to join us, I decided I needed a fake boyfriend.
As it happens, Cam and I had our first date soon after, and after hearing my pitiful story and being ambushed by his ex, we decided we’d help each other out and fake a relationship.
But his ex sent pictures of us to the New York Weekender and Cam suggested we fake an engagement to save my reputation and my job. The end.”
“Is it the end? Was everything between you two fake? I mean, you seemed very comfortable with each other. As if you spend quite a lot of time together.”
I blushed to the roots of my hair and stuffed the rest of my cannoli in my mouth.
Mom raised an elegant eyebrow—patience personified. “You have to swallow at some point. I’ll wait.”
She was right. Eventually I did have to swallow. I decided to shrug as casually as I could.
“We did spend a lot of time together preparing for tonight,” I said vaguely. “Speaking of which, where is Dad and everyone else?”
She shot me a look that meant she wasn’t going to be distracted, but she was letting it go for now.
“Your father, Paul and Michelle went to the hotel. I asked them to give me some time alone with you. Cam drove Helen and Becky to their hotel.”
Guilt took another nip from my heart. “I’m really sorry I ruined everyone’s evening. I like Helen and Becky so much. I wish I had a chance to apologize. And poor Papa… He must be so disappointed.”
Mom patted my hand. “Don’t worry about your father; he will understand once we explain everything. Actually, there is a way to make it up to him.”
I looked at her, curious and a little suspicious. “What way?”
“How about we all go home tomorrow, and you spend Easter with us at home?”
Home? To Warwick? I’d spent the last years of my life avoiding every opportunity to go back there, because it held so many painful memories—Neil’s cheating, my failed engagement, my adolescence under a domineering mother I sometimes thought was a tyrant…
Now that Mom and I had started to clear the air, would it be easier to go back home?
Would I be actually able to enjoy my childhood home, remember the good times, and push away the shadows of the bad times?
As though reading my inner turmoil, Mom patted my arm. “Think about it. I’ll call you on Sunday morning before we leave and see if you want to join us.”
I gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks, Mom.”
“No problem, honey.” She stood, glancing down at her slim wrist watch. “I’d better get going, or your father will start worrying.”
I stood too, feeling almost sad at the thought of her leaving. I suddenly wanted to make up for all the years we’d had an invisible barrier between us. I knew it would take time, but tonight was a good start.
“Do you want me to call you a cab?” I asked, walking her to the door.
She shook her head. “It’s okay, I have an app.”
“Message me when you get to the hotel, please.”
She turned to me and smiled indulgently. “Look at you, worrying about your old lady.”
“You’re not an old lady, you’re a very attractive woman, and New York is full of degenerates.”
She almost rolled her eyes. “You sound just like your father. You seem to handle the degenerates reasonably well. I’ll message you, I promise.
” Her face grew serious, and she took my hands in hers.
“Thank you for seeing me. I’m sorry for everything, Susanne.
And I meant what I said. I am so incredibly proud of you, and thankful to be your mother.
It’s a privilege I will never take lightly. ”
I hugged her tightly, burying my nose in her shoulder, inhaling her unmistakable scent of Italian perfume, grapes, and elegance.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
I watched her descend the stairs gracefully, a smile lingering on my face. Today had been so cathartic. I wished I could share this moment with the one person who’d made this possible—Cam. But there was no sign of him. I glanced under Sebastian’s apartment door. Everything was dark and quiet.
I closed my door, then finished the cannoli, took a hot shower, and got ready for bed. Now and again I threw glances out the window, hoping to see Cam climb the stairs to our building. There was no sign of him, and no message.
Eventually, close to midnight, I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.
I finished my nightly routine by checking the front door to make sure it was locked.
Light footsteps echoed outside in the hallway, and my heartbeat picked up.
It could have been anyone, but somehow I knew it was him.
I pressed my hand against the door and my eye to the peephole.
My pulse hammered in my ears when I saw him climb the last step to our floor.
I only saw his profile, but he looked tired, his shoulders slumped.
I bit my lip, swallowing the need to open the door and throw myself in his arms, or at his feet, to thank him for all that he’d done for me, to beg him to forgive me for the terrible scene at dinner…
To tell him how stupidly, wildly crazy in love I was with him.
To ask him if there was any chance that he at least liked me back, that he wanted me in his life.
My heart and my breath stopped as he paused in front of my apartment. My palms pressed against the door, fingers digging into the wood, wishing Cam would turn to me.
But he didn’t.
He walked past my door toward Sebastian’s apartment, and disappeared inside.